Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Hotsheet

While I'm not one to usually have news stories on my blog, these two items made me do the happy dance today. Is there some common sense left in our society after all? Please let it be so.

Senate Blocks Alaska Refuge Drilling
Shame on these filthy politicians for trying to use the Arctic Wildlife to finance their "war on terror." Shame on them! Scumbags!

Judge Rules Against Pa. Biology Curriculum
Ha! Using the term "Intelligent Design" did not hide the fact that these school board members - who have since been fired - were trying to get around the Constitutional separation of church and state. Not to mention trying to set education back at least 80 years. Thank you, God!

happy dance happy dance happy dance happy dance happy dance happy dance

In blogging news, Kris of Mama Likey has posted a Best of 2005 list in which people submitted their best works for her to showcase. I am on there, as well as Todd, Egan, Spinning Girl, and many others that we all now have the opportunity to discover thanks to Kris. Well done woman! Excellent idea!

Finally, since I am doing my first "round-up" of sorts, I am posting this comic from the brilliant Berkeley Breathed. If anyone has ever tried to teach their mother how to use a computer, as I am doing for the 12th time (literally) then this comic will truly resonate with them. If you hear about a matricide in Jersey, please submit this to my defense lawyer.

Click picture to enlarge.
















**Editor's note: the use of the term "round-up" was allegedly coined by the Needle-dicked bugfucker over at Sacrelicious. Happy now, sweetness? You got your props.

65 comments:

FindingHeart said...

Love the comic! I've tried to bring many teachers (including mom) into the tech age. i feel the pain! Enjoy the upcoming intelligent non-denominational winter holiday!

Cactus Prick said...

I would like to see the happy dance. Really, I would.

Egan said...

I am so happy about this. Maybe not all is lost. I have spent some time in Alaska and there's no reason we ever need to touch the Reserve. It's all about conservation. Thanks for the positive stories.

I think training your mom how to use the computers is very similar to teaching car dealers how to use my company's software. I wish it was only 12 times.

Bill said...

I'm with Ma. After spending the day trying to set up my wireless network I'm convinced the technology is splendid. However, the morons who label things, write tech manuals and how-to pieces, are utter morons with the communication abilities of prune pits.

After spending over an hour on a lve chat with a tech support guy (for something that could have easily been resolved with a brief manual inclusion, "To find your router's settings, go here (ener URL)." We live in a world of twits.

On the other hand, the only reason I have a job is because these tech companies are run by idiots. I paid to explain and/or translate their arcane references.

Bill said...

And another thing ... I make so many typos because I can't read anything on this freakin' Powerbook's screen. Could they make the fonts any smaller?

Egan said...

Bill, raise the font man. Don't blame the computer.

Monkey said...

"Out of my will bye bye". Priceless! And yes, I've tried this before. It didn't work. Lucky for me, I have a brother that lives closer to the hot zone.

And the good news... every now and again, someone stands up and shouts "the emperor has no clothes!" And sometimes, people listen.

Other times, we're in the shitter. Sorry.

Monkey's Human

Egan said...

Monkey, isn't "the emperor has no clothes" a Sinead O'Connor song?

Brookelina said...

FH - you are so politically correct I can't stand it!

Prick - fly me to Arizona baby.

Egan - what you said.

Bill - maybe you should get your glasses checked.

Egan - word.

Monkey's Human - you are truly a woman of wisdom.

Egan said...

Word back at you Brooke. ANWAR.

Dave said...

I'm glad about the wildlife thing too. Now if only we could send GWB up to Alaska to work on that bridge to nowhere...

darth said...

those two news stories made my week. i've been meaning to blog about the I.D. story for months now, but could never find the right tone (in other words, i started ranting) i was following the case on the pandas thumb and pharyngula sites avidly though (great stuff), and am happy things worked out. always a battle though.

and ANWR...couldn't have happened to a nicer guy (Stevens, R-AK) :lol: loved that guys nerve, couldn't get it passed on its own merits, so he tacks it onto a must pass defense bill. smmmooooooove.

Egan said...

Death to ANWR drilling, for now. Yippee.

Miss Browneyedgirlie said...

That comic is SO what it was like to teach my dad to use my computer last year, as part of a class assignment.

Oh, the profanities coming out of his mouth during that time!

SO FREAKIN' FUNNY!

Is it wrong that I think that? ;)

yournamehere said...

Brooke,
isn't Kris just the greatest?

I like it when you get all political on us, babe.

jiggs said...

The guy in the comic's hair reminds me of my own. Sure, I've got red hair and he's got black hair, but we both have pompadours. Rock it!

ChickyBabe said...

Ah, love that comic! It's my mum and every single electronic device, not just a computer!

Lo Lo Lova said...

My mother-in-law asked me to try and help her with email AGAIN at Christmas time. She said, "Can you teach me to forward an email?" I've tried explaining it to her 100 times in letters and over the phone. But apparently me physically pointing to the button that says "Forward" will be the key. My guess is it still won't help. But it's worth a shot. Luckily my own mother refuses to use a computer, so I don't have to worry about her... yet.

Brookelina said...

Egan - control yourself babe.

Dave - oh if only.

Darth - Stevens needs to be castrated, tarred, and feathered. And those are my good thoughts.

BEG - better coming from his mouth than yours. Though I'm sure you wer thinking the same thing.

Todd - anything for you love.

Jiggs - I think I am going to need photographic evidence of your red pompadour.

Chicky - my mum calls me from Jersey to help her with her TV remote control. The fact that I am in Florida makes it difficult to help her.

Lo Lo - just five minutes ago mom came shuffling in here and asked me to teach her how to use the computer - again. She promised to write everything down (there is a drawer full of her previous 'writing downs' right next to me) and promised to not be afraid of the computer (she said this as she eyed it with disdain).
I've also been instructed to clean out her closets and organize her paperwork. Both of these things were done when I was home during the hurricane, not even two months ago.
It's going to be a long week.

Flounder said...

Well, I guess that the honeymoon is over Brooke. I just hope that we can still be friends after this post...

First, as for drilling for oil in the Alaska refuge, I am all for anything that will lower gas prices, and more importantly heating oil prices. It costs me over $400 each time that I fill my oil tank, which I will do 6 or 7 times this year. My first option would be to simply "take" the oil from Iraq. To the victors go the spoils, you know? But if that won't work, there has to be an ecologically friendly way for them to drill in Alaska. We run pipelines all through National Forests and drill in oceans filled with wildlife without much incident, so I would think that the same could be done there.

Secondly, I have no use for the term "Intelligent Design", just like I have no use for "holiday tree", "physically challenged" or "little people". They're midgets, dammit!

The Big Bang Theory is just that, a theory. Why shouldn't another theory, Creationism, be taught in the same manner? The theory of evolution up the ladder from simple organisms to more complex ones, requires a level of faith equal to, if not greater than Creationism. Check out former-atheist Lee Strobel's "The Case for a Creator". Good reading.

As for separation of church and state, the intention of the framers was to make sure that we did not become a theocracy or have a recognized national religion. They wanted religious freedom, and the concept has been greatly perverted.

Lastly, that is a great cartoon. I know that when I walk into my mother's house tomorrow I will see 12:00 flashing on the VCR and microwave!

Sorry for the rant. I will now put my soapbox away.

Brookelina said...

Oh Flounder, you've thrown me for a loop here. I'm so floored I don't know where to begin.

To the victors go the spoils? The victors of an illegal invasion? An invasion that any other country in the world would have been brought up on charges for? Can't agree on that one.

You don't like heating oil prices? Then move someplace warmer. Why should one of the last pristine places on the planet be spoiled so you can save a few bucks? Try thinking into the future for a minute. Without places like Alaska and the Amazon - which is in grave danger of being destroyed from deforestation - we as human beings simply can not exist. These places clean our air - without them we are dead. Oh, and let's not forget that most of the world's pharmaceuticals are found in these areas as well. The cure of cancer could be in Alaska - but oil is so much more important to us.

The Big Bang Theory is a theory that has been studied and researched by scientists. It is not a religious concept. That is why creationism - creatively renamed Intelligent Design - is not taught in schools. It is a religious concept. If we are going to teach creationism - why not teach what Buddhists believe about the beginnings of the world? Or the Islams? Or the Hindus?

I'll put my soapbox away now too. I can't vouch for the rest of the commenters.

Brookelina said...

Oh, one last thing. Do you honestly think that the oil companies are going to spend billions and billions of dollars to drill in Alaska - and then actually lower oil prices? Come on. Do you? If so, I got some land to sell you in the Everglades...

JJ said...

I wish I was there to see your happy dance. That is some good news, though I'm still holding out the for the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

kate said...

totally with you on the anwr thing! i even did a series of paintings of anwr with profits going to defenders of wildlife

well im staying off the computer now until next year so happy holidays all!

Flounder said...

First, it was not an illegal invasion. We enforced a UN resolution that no other country had the balls to enforce. Congress granted the President the power to use force, and he did. Russia got control over East Germany and all its resources after WWII, and I believe that we should have the same over Iraq. We're rebuilding their pipelines and refineries and should be able to use them to benefit our country.

As for moving, I have moved more times than you have Brooke, and I am not going anywhere. Not even to the beautiful property that you have in the Everglades. I assure you that many people are feeling the bite of heating oil prices this winter, and I think that it may have as big of an economic impact on this country as any natural disaster. There has got to be a way to get the needed oil from Alaska without trashing the place. Supply goes up, prices come down. Brilliant!

Lastly, theory is defined as a set of statements or principles devised to explain a group of facts or phenomena, especially one that has been repeatedly tested or is widely accepted and can be used to make predictions about natural phenomena. IN THIS COUNTRY, creationism is widely accepted and should be taught along with evolution. The majority of this country's population is of Judeo-Christian faith who believe in creationism. I don't care what China, India, Pakistan or the rest of the world teaches their children.

Out of respect, this will be my last post on this subject. You may have the final word...

Moses said...

That guy's a douche.

Flounder said...

Hey Canada, or is it America, Jr.? Thanks for your comment !

Moses said...

It was Canada's pleasure, Douchey.

Bill said...

Thanks to such things as global warming the north is going in the crapper anyway so the discussion may be moot.

I find it strange, however, that the response to an oil shortage and high prices is always to look for more rather than look for alternatives or question the degree of use.

The best way to reduce or eliminate the need for Middle East oil is to find an alternative to it. Not that that's an easy thing to do. But it's a thought.

Sabrina said...

I guess fat, drunk and stupid IS a way to go through life!

jill said...

yea nothing gets me and cute blond hair excited like a fat stupid and drunk man spouting off on things he knows nothing about.

miss kendra said...

i *heart* alaska.

Nick said...

I completely agree with Flounder.

Except that I don't think we should teach creationism. Our schools are a composite of all faiths and we shouldn't force children of other faiths Judeo-Christian beliefs. If parents want their children to learn things like that, they should teach it themselves or put their kids in religious private school.

Fuck Alaska.

Egan said...

Flounder, wow... I think the fuck Tucker Carlson wants to suck your dick.

Enjoy your moment of glory because Conservative America reign is fading fast because of their moronic leader.

Brooke, I won't be reading Flounder's blog whenever he can figure out how to post it.

JJ said...

That cartoon from Berk, is great. It's weird but he actually did a strip with Steve Dallas (as fratboy) for my college paper. I still have the book they were collected in somewhere.

Egan said...

Fuck, perhaps I was a bit harsh on Mr. Flounder. But dammit man, open your eyes and think about the future and the consquences of your actions yo!

Anthony said...

I'm pretty sure the UN doesn't give nations the right to unilaterally uphold weak, undefined resolutions.

And Brooke is right, a bit more oil isn't going to have much effect on oil prices, the cost of getting at that oil, protecting the environment, and getting it from Alaska to markets will be phenomenal. Much like the oil-sands in Alberta, it is high prices that make the project possible. Likely, if world oil prices went back down, production from ANWR would be cut back or shut down because production costs could exceed the sale prices.

The reason it is difficult to protect the environment in Alaska is because it is a fragile ecosystem. Unlike the temperate ecosystems of most of the contiguous US, Arctic ecosystems are particularly sensitive because of the extreme climate and very short growing season. Damage to an Arctic ecosystem could take hundreds or thousands of years to recover, and the remoteness of the location would likely make detection of a spill difficult and clean up nearly impossible.

And you're right, evolution and the big bang are theories. But they are SCIENTIFIC theories. The are tested and confirmed, and fit into our greater scientific understanding of the world and universe around us. Evolution was devised by seeing a problem- the advancement and adaptation of species- and explaning how it could happen within a SCIENTIFIC context. Conversely, Intelligent Design was devised by assuming a non-scientific solution- creationism- and forcing it to explain a scientific problem.

As far as creationism is concerned, I have no problem with is being presented as an alternative, but as a religious alternative, not a scientific one. Also, I believe that public schools should reflect the public that use them, and that would mean reflecting America's religious diversity.

Dan-E said...

*walks in. reads comments walks back out.*

Egan said...

Dan-e you are smarter man than me. Anthony, damn you are a smart guy. I hope Flounder can grasp the concept of shorter growing seasons. It seems that notion confounds a lot of people. Less light means shorter growing season. Argh...

Egan said...

Brooke - is this why you don't do political posts very often?

Flounder said...

Bill, I agree that alternative fuels would be the best option, or as Brooke said, we should turn garbage into fuel.

I also agree that Anthony is a damn smart guy. Maybe we should just invade Canada and take their oil out of Alberta. Just a thought.

Egan, you were a little harsh toward me, and you will probably feel really, really bad to find out that you treated me that way on my birthday. One more thing Egan, my blog IS up!

Bill said...

Flounder, you can have our oil but you have to take our Alberta weather too. You also have to take our Premier, Ralph Klein.

(Gotta take the bad with the good.)

Egan said...

Flounder, thinking about the birthday thing. Not so sure I feel all that bad. Yes, I was harsh... I will give you that. But please understand there is a greater consequence to all of our actions. For example, snowmobiling in the Yellowstone is a very bad idea. But that's a whole separate environmental issue.

P.S. Happy B-Day

Brookelina said...

For Flounder's birthday I think we should send him a gift certificate to the local heating oil company. Also a book on etiquette - the America Jr comment was ignorant and uncalled for.

Knitty Kitty said...

yea i feel the need to throw a book of blogger etiquette a couple people at my blog lately too.

but i mean hey Flounder, since you are all for stealing oil from Iraq, then you might as well try for Canada to.
Just don't be surprised when all the great gun carrying Albertans shoot your ignorant ass..

Lo Lo Lova said...

Hang in there, Brookie!

Egan said...

You go girls!

im here somewhere said...

um, lets talk about boogers.

unless these people are actually getting up off their fat, lazy asses (me included) to do something about this themselves then stop fucing calling each other names in brooke's blog.

once again, boogers.
brooke, do you find that alot of your little students pick their nose in class? my daughter is three and she really gets alot of joy from watching other little kids pick their noses.

Brookelina said...

Also, I would like to welcome the Charlie's Angels to my blog. This rocks. I loved that show.

Lilred - I affectionately call my classroom "booger central", if that answers your question.

Flounder said...

Can't we all just get along?

Egan said...

Flounder, since you now have a blog on the net... it means I have to come out of the closet. Dude, I am sorry if I was a prick. I just don't happen to agree with you, but you are entitled your own opinion. Just take it easy on our good friends up north. Be safe on your birthday.

Lilreddramaqueen - hugs to you

Übermilf said...

What's going on in here?

Egan, I love you.

Übermilf said...

Nick is never happy. Especially in winter, when all the bugs are hibernating.

Flounder said...

Real thought provoking discussions are always a beautiful thing, Egan. Where would we be if we all thought the same way? We can agree to disagree.

Also, if it weren't for Canada, we wouldn't have hockey and my beloved Flyers. I guess their not so bad after all. America, Jr comment - withdrawn.

jiggs said...

Let's not fight about politics yo. It's all bullshit anyway.

I'll see about a photo of my pompadour.

Nick said...

Brooke, you suck. I'm going to stop defending your honor when people bitch abou you.

Egan said...

Flounder - alright... it's true, differing opinions are great. Let's just not talk about anything other than the birds and the bees Flounder. Can that be our agreement? I have a feeling you and I won't get along so well with discussions of politics, environment, Canada, gay rights, and shit. Peace out!

Ubermilf - I love you too. We have a three hour layover in O'Hare tomorrow. Meet you there?

Monkey said...

I like boogers a lot.

Bill said...

Flounder ... I live in Canada. Actually, I live in Alberta. Nothing has bothered me here until I read the comment about the Flyers. The Flyers? The Flyers?????

You're talking to an Oilers fan here! We may have to step outside.

Anthony said...

Bill that was awesome.

"I live in Canada. Actually, I live in Alberta."

I'm not sure if you did that on purpose, but to this Ontarian, that was extremely funny. Either way.

Flounder said...

I have hated the Oilers since I watched Gretz drop 5 on Pelle Lindberg back in '84. Although I must admit that Mark Messier is my second favorite player ever, right behind Bobby Clarke!

BTW, Anthony - Flyers 4, Sens 3! Take that Ontario!

Brookelina said...

Egan and Flounder - I'm pleased to see you two kissed and made up. Next time could you put a little music on when you do that? And show some tongue.

Ubie - that must be why he's so pissy of late.

Jiggs - I can not wait to see your pompadour! I'm trembling with anticipation.

Nick - I do suck. Very well I might add.

Monkey - boogers are a part of my everyday life. Come to my classroom and you'll be in heaven.

Bill - blog fight!!!

Anthony - good to see you babe. Missed seeing you grab yourself!

Flounder - talking about sports will not change your status as Egan's gay lover.

Bill said...

Good grief, what have I started?

Yes, Anthony, that WAS funny. Bit of a slip. btw ... I'm originally from Ontario. Toronto and Ottawa. But born in Hamilton, of all places.

Moses said...

I'm so gay.

Egan said...

I'm so gay.