Hide in Plain Site

No, I haven't had a hit called on me. And no, I'm not hiding out from the authorities ... uh, no. But lately I have been wanting a little bit more anonymity on my blog, and having my name plastered on the URL, the title, and the profile name did not offer much in the way of privacy. Maybe it's the whole moving back to the tiny hometown thing - I feel much more exposed - and not in the good way. And so I realized it was time to change. I had several choices on how to make this change which entailed hours of soul searching and ice cream consumption. I hope you can appreciate my agony.

Choice 1: Delete my blog and start all over.
This choice sucked. I like my blog. I like most of my posts. Deleting seemed too much like killing a small child to me - something I would never do unless there were copious amounts of whining involved. Which of course there was. My blog was a bitch. But killing her seemed slightly excessive.

Choice 2: Go private.
This would put an end to my Keywords and Asshats posts. Never.

Choice 3: Stop blogging completely.
Too much like Choice 1. Maybe not killing, but definitely abandoning. Not an option.

Choice 4: Stop obsessing over minor things. Leave things as they are.
Stop. Obsessing.
I'm laughing so hard at this one I've got a cramp.

Choice 5: Move blog to a new URL.
Done. I realize that my name is still all over this blog, but nobody reads archives anyway. Well, except for the perverts looking for accidental flashing. Even with that, changing the name and address will afford me a bit more privacy from local eyes, and that's all I'm really looking for.

I'll leave a link for a while on my old blog so that my few readers will be able to find me - and so the porn spammers don't infiltrate my old beloved URL. Eventually I'll just leave it be, an empty shell on the broken highway of blogging dreams. Now all I can ask is that the people who have been reading will migrate on over here with me, change my name/URL on their blogrolls, and send large amounts of money to a numbered account in the Caymans.

It was worth a shot.

Exciting Blogger News!

Well, exciting to me anyway.

First of all, I am finally on new Blogger. I don't know why it took so long for me to be able to switch over. Maybe Blogger was busy enjoying all of my previous work, you know - getting to know me - before inviting me over to his place. Or it's possible that Blogger is a naughty little tease who was purposely trying to prolong the agony of anticipation. Then again, it could just be that Blogger sucks. You decide. In any event, I'm on new Blogger! I admit I was starting to feel left out, what with all my blog buddies moving on without me to their new digs and leaving me behind like old moldy furniture.

Second, I have been honored with an award! Actually no, my blog has been honored with an award. No that's not right either. One of my posts has been honored with an award. Not really an award, more like a special mention on another blog that specially mentions other blog posts...which is very nice even though I really didn't get an actual award or anything. OK I did get this very pretty picture to put on my blog. That's an award ...of sorts.

Shut up.

To be honest, I'm extremely flattered. I was mentioned on a new blog called The Rising Blogger, In Search of The Rising Blogger. Are you one? Judd, the lovely gentleman who started this blog and emailed me to inform me of my recent selection, searches the blog world for worthy posts to talk about on his site. He said very nice things about me in his post, and I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you. I won't ask anything about Judd's personal life - like if he's single and if he likes pina coladas - because I feel it's important to maintain my integrity. The last time I got singled out for my blog work, I spent the better part of an hour flirting chatting with a boy who was young enough to be my...oldest brother's son... actually even my youngest brother's son. Oh I am so going to hell. Not that it was a bad experience, it was quite nice actually. But I'm really too old mature to be flirting chatting with college boys. Anyway, here is the direct link to the post about me. Thank you again, Judd. I'll be sure to link you up and check out your site often!

Third...

There is no third. There is no spoon. Here's a cute picture.

My House

Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one. - Some unknown asshole

Once upon a time, young girls wrote down their personal thoughts in private books and hid them away under their mattresses so nobody could know what they were thinking. These surreptitious journals were known as diaries, and woah to the parent who happened upon the delicate reflections of the adolescent female.

Today, the diary has morphed from a juvenile source of confidential expression to an online world - 50 million strong - of HTML, images, and trackbacks - otherwise known as the blog. Young and old alike not only share their secrets with the world, but invite others in to comment about their daily shenanigans, private thoughts, and personal beliefs.

When I first started blogging, I was shocked that people would comment on my posts. They liked me! They really liked me! This is so cool! Now I should really head over to their blogs and see what they wrote and comment to them too! I hadn't realized that this sort of interaction was part of the blogging process. But hey, this was fun stuff!

I soon discovered that it wasn't always fun. Why? Because not everyone is nice. I know, this comes as quite a shock, but it's true. In fact, some people actually spend a good portion of their time attacking others. Others find themselves becoming too familiar too fast, making comments that are inappropriate and uncomfortable for the recipient. And thus began my love-hate relationship with the comment portion of our blogs.

The argument goes, that if you put something out there, you have to be expected to take the good with the bad. Is that true? Just because a person writes something on the internet, does that give people the right to vehemently attack that person for no real reason? Is it expressing yourself when your whole agenda is to hurt others when you comment? Just because you have the right to do it, does it make it right to do it?

I look at my blog as an extension of myself. Actually, no - I look at my blog as an extension of my home. Our websites are our internet real estate. In an increasingly crowded world, this is the one place where there is always room. We move in to our spaces. We decorate. We make it homey and comfortable. And we hope people will enjoy themselves when we choose to entertain. The thing is, in the real world, our front doors are locked and secure. People can walk by, but legally, they can't come in without an invitation. Not so on the internet, where our web doors are always open. Anyone can come in - anytime, and from anywhere. And because the rules are different, people seem to think that they can behave accordingly.

Would you walk into someone's home with a mask on, verbally abuse the occupants, and then trash the house? No? Then guess what - don't do it on the internet either. Going to someone's blog under an anonymous moniker and battering the blogger with insults and relentless tirades is no different. It's rude. It's inappropriate. And it's extremely bad karma. Don't believe in karma? Then good luck to you.

I find it sad that the rules of common courtesy don't apply on the internet. We are supposed to be a civilized society. I do my best to treat people with respect because that is how I want to be treated - both in person and on the internet. I thank my parents for having this sensitivity, for being able to distinguish between right and wrong. Unfortunately, not everyone was raised with a moral compass.

I can't control other people's opinions, but I can control what goes on in my blog. I know many people who don't delete ugly comments on their blogs because they feel that other people's opinions are valid and should be left for all to see. I disagree. This is my blog, it's my home, and I make the rules. If someone comes in and makes a mess, I have no problem cleaning it up. If that means eliminating obnoxious behavior to get that bad smell out of the air, then that's what I am going to do. I do not allow garbage to stink up my house. You don't like it? No problem. There are 50 million other houses out there. Go to one of them.

All Quiet on the Florida Front

On the vacation front - well it's almost over. Here in Fla-da we go back to school in August, which is just plain evil. Yeah I know, you're just weeping for me. But school is meant to be started in September, in the Fall. Kids are supposed to walk to school crunching brightly colored leaves under their feet. But being that there is no Fall in Florida, it's all a moot point. How's that for apathetic? Or is it just pathetic? I always get like this when the subject of seasons comes up. Just ignore me, I'll be fine once I move back to Jersey. I haven't done nearly as much I meant to do during all this free time, but maybe for once that's ok. Sometimes relaxing is more important than anything else.

On the moving front: it took a lot of thought, but I'm not moving back to Jersey until next year. There were a lot of reasons for this decision. Family, work, personal - but in the end it came down to that it didn't feel right. I still want to go, but one more year down here will be the best for everyone involved.

On the family front: mom is back in NJ and doing well. She still has healing to do but she'll be ok. My brother, who had the heart attack back in April, had to have open heart surgery a few weeks ago. He's recovering nicely with mom. It's like an outpatient center at her place these days. Is at least one of the reasons I'm not moving up there right now becoming a little clearer? Yes, I'm a selfish bitch.

On the work front: I went to my classroom on Wednesday and I nearly had my very own heart attack. Apparently when the custodians wax the floors, they have to remove everything from the room. They did a beautiful job on the floors, but putting things back...not so good. My momentary freak-out was quickly abated when one of the custodians came in to tell me that he had set aside a brand new desk for me because he thinks mine is too wobbly. Now how can anyone stay upset with that kind of thoughtfulness? I get a new desk...I get a new desk...yayyyyyyyy! I'm actually ready to go back to work again. I can't wait to meet my new group of monsters.

On the personal front: yawn. Nothing exciting to report. I have had a few nice dinners and lunches with friends. I saw the Pirates movie. I played with my nephews. I have attempted to lose a few pounds with healthy eating and regular exercise. I have not contacted any ex-boyfriends. I have watched a lot of HGTV.

On the blogging front: it seems we are losing bloggers left and right. I wonder how much I will be writing once school starts again. I wonder how many readers I will have after they read this incredibly boring post.

No, You Aren't Lost

Welcome to my new bloooooooog!

20 Questions for Egan

Not long ago, in a fit of absolute boredom, Egan decided to ask me 20 questions in an epic session of IM. I was stuck inside due to the weather, Egan was stuck inside due to that nasty thing called work. When I was finished, I then turned the tables on him and forced him to answer his own inane questions - with a few minor changes. Here is the result of Egan's interview. To read mine, go to Egan's Monkeyboy Blog.

1) Brooke: Have you seen a grown man naked?
Egan: Yes, I see lots of grown men naked at the gym. Now stop calling me Shirley.
Brooke: Ok, I’ll call you Ethel.

2) Brooke: Do you like movies about gladiators?
Egan: I love the one movie about gladiators I can think of. I think it’s because I have a chubby for Joaquin Phoenix though.

3) Brooke: What was your first car?
Egan: The first car I owned was a 1986 Honda Accord LX. I bought it in 1993. The first car I ever drove regularly was an Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser station wagon complete with wood paneling and a very pungent mold smell. We called it the Moldsmobile.

4) Brooke: Tell me something unique about yourself.
Egan: I sleep with a teddy bear. It’s the long arms folks.

5) Brooke: Who was your first crush?
Egan: My first crush was in first grade. Her name was Shannon Brown. She also happened to be my first kiss.
Brooke: I’m going to assume there was no tongue.

6) Brooke: Where is your most sensitive spot on your body? (excluding private areas)
Egan: Neck/ear region. I squirm like an 8 year-old boy when appropriately touched there.
Brooke: That’s quite the mental image. Thank you.

7) Brooke: What was your favorite Halloween costume?
Egan: A couple years ago my wife and I dressed up as Siegfried & Roy. I was Roy Horn with gashes on the neck and all. Very inappropriate, since The Accident happened about three weeks earlier. Oh well.
Brooke: Classy.

8) Brooke: Do you think it's bad to eat a whole pizza by yourself?
Egan: I do think it’s bad, but I do it way too often and justify by saying I will go for a run or workout. Or that I just deserved it.
Brooke: Being that you are an Ironman, I think we can excuse you.

9) Brooke: If you could work any job you've worked before, which job would it be and why? Was it the pay or the job duties that would keep you at that job?
Egan: I would work my college job again at Simply Desserts. I ran the show by myself and loved it. Met tons of people (dated some) and the tips were pretty damn good.

10) Brooke: Do you regret dating anyone in your past?
Egan: Zero regrets about people I dated in the past. I chalk it all up to a learning experience.
Brooke: Wow, you’re so balanced.

11) Brooke: Do you keep in touch with your exes?
Egan: This may sound strange, but I really have only one serious ex-girlfriend. I dated quite bit before I got married, but only had one serious girlfriend before I met my wife. But yes, I do keep in touch with her. We just exchanged email last week. based on you posting this on Monday Brooke
Brooke: It doesn’t sound strange since I am convinced you are a closet homosexual.

12) Brooke: Is Patrick Swayze gay? Do you want him to be?
Egan: I hope he’s gay so I can nail him. Sadly I don’t think he’s gay even though he was in Dirty Dancing and that To Wong Fu and Damn this a Long Movie Title Julie Newmar movie. His best movie was clearly Red Dawn. “Wolverines!”
Brooke: See? Gay.

13) Brooke: Do clothes complete a man or mask who they really are?
Egan: Who created this question?
Brooke: You did, Ethel.
Egan: I want to say mask, but a well-dressed confident man can really push me over the edge.
Brooke: Again, my point is made.

14) Brooke: Three goals you have for next year?
Egan: 1. Complete the Ironman Canada in August.
Egan: 2. Find a real job/start my own company; blogging doesn’t count as a job does it?
Brooke: Unfortunately not.
Egan: 3. Read more books.

15) Brooke: Would you consider yourself to be a romantic?
Egan: Damn this is a loaded question. I guess the honest answer is no. There’s a lot more I could do to surprise my wife, but I am too lazy to think that far ahead.
Egan: Does watching 90210 with my wife count as romantic?
Brooke: No.

16) Brooke: What was the first thing you noticed about your wife when you met her?
Egan: Her eyes and then her intellect. But damn those eyes of hers sucked me in.

17) Brooke: What two shows on TV do you have to see?
Egan: 24 and The Amazing Race
Brooke: You answered that in a much more timely manner than I did. Thank you.

18) Brooke: If you were to meet a blogger in person, what do you think their biggest surprise would be about you?
Egan: I have to go with height here. I think my broad shoulders make me look bigger than I am.
Brooke: Hear that girls? Tall. With broad shoulders. And when I say girls, I mean boys.

19) Brooke: What got you started on the road to blogdom?
Egan: My former co-worker Sprizee showed me her blog and eventually wore me down enough where I started blogging my experiences. The rest is history.

20) Brooke: Finally, how has blogging changed your life?
Egan: Blogging has opened my eyes to many different things I may not have experienced on my own. I have met so many wonderful people via blogging, it’s ridiculous. The biggest change blogging has provided me, not sure I should admit this, is how to shuffle my work day around blogging. It has given me a wonderful outlet to share my experiences and opinions with others. Beats the hell out of emailing your friends some impersonal email about my happenings.
Egan: Thanks Brooke for the opportunity to share.
Egan: Great questions by the way.
Brooke: Egan, you rock.

Now go read my interview!!!

Don't You Put Me on the Back Burner

Hellooooooo! I'm back! I had a very nice - and short - blog break among the three dimensional people. I quite enjoyed them, though you guys smell better than they do. Although I had truly meant to take more time off, I missed my blog family. But that's not the only thing that brought me back in such a timely fashion.

Ubermilf wrote a very interesting post about wanting to start all over after making mistakes. Sadly for us grown-ups, we don't have "do overs" like we did when we were kids. One of the reasons I took time off from blogging was because I felt like I had allowed my life to get out of control. Things weren't perfect, so something had to give. I needed a "do-over." But guess what? Nothing is ever perfect. Not blogging is not going to make my problems go away. If anything, blogging is a way for me to sort through my problems. And so I return, no doubt to the delight of those anxious to abuse me for being such a drama queen.

But first things first. I would like to respond to the lovely comments I got on my previous post. Instead of doing it in the comments section, however, I have decided to do it here. Shut up. It's my blog and I'll do what I want. You're all just pissed that you never thought to do this.

sunshine said...
You go, girl...I'm sure a lot of us will miss your frequent, funny comments and observations. But we'd rather that you be happy than to keep us entertained!This post hits a bit of a raw nerve with me because I am struggling to find balance in my life right now too. Good luck to both of us!: )
11/27/2005 4:44 PM
Sunshine, thank you too. I hope you have found some balance. If you have, let me know. I didn't, I just missed blogging so I'm back. Pathetic? Yes.

Cactus Prick said...
Dammit, woman. Hurry back.
11/27/2005 4:49 PM
I'm back ya prick! Did ya miss me? Get that web cam yet?

Tomlawyer said...
Hey, wish you the best. Bye for now....
11/27/2005 4:59 PM
Thanks Tom! I'm so lucky to have you around. You do know that I consider you my lawyer, right? How much are restraining orders going for these days?

Calzone said...
will miss you dumbass, hopefully we can talk soon.
11/27/2005 5:05 PM
Thanks dumbass. Catch the clap from one of your bimbos yet?

Knitty Kitty said...
tis the season to scale back, a lot of us are doing it. I think i realized I needed to step back a little when my family got sick and tired of me starting to say something "i read in a blog today..."g'luck
11/27/2005 5:56 PM
At least you can say that to your family! My blog is my dirty little secret. And so are all of you.

Egan said...
Good for you Brooke. I mean, I feel like I should do the same thing, but don't have the heart to step away from the computer. It will happen sometime in the future though since I need to shift my priortities and the end of the year is fast approaching. Thanks for keeping the masses entertained.
11/27/2005 6:09 PM
Stop being a such a drama queen. You sound like me. It's not like you and I don't IM every day anyway.

darth said...
are you back yet? :(
11/27/2005 7:06 PM
Yes! Here I am!!!

The real me said...
I will miss trading quips with you, dear. And you'll always be near the top of my blogroll!xo
11/27/2005 7:40 PM
Thank you TRM. You better not have written any dirty stories about me while I was gone.

yournamehere said...
I would never delete you from my blogroll...uh...what was your name again?
11/27/2005 8:20 PM
You are such a twat.

yournamehere said...
Love ya, Brooke. How do you think I feel? The quality of my personal life and the quality of my blog have both reached all time lows.Take care of business, babe.
11/27/2005 8:21 PM
We need to get out drinking together one of these days, my friend.

Dan-E said...
dammit brooke, i was just starting to like you. at least i got to see your ta-tas. but seriously, it's cool you're forcing yourself to go live life among the three-dimensional people. bloggers are fun but if you go outside once in a while, it's nice. and it ups your chances of meeting viggo.if you're ever down in sobe, well, god help you.
11/27/2005 8:28 PM
You saw my ta-tas!?! Was that you on the boat outside my window!? If you come back I'll paint my phone number across them for you. My ta-tas I mean, not my windows.

kris said...
Murr. But I understand. Good for you, young lovah.But I'll miss you.
11/27/2005 8:36 PM
Lovah! I am so using that word from now on!

Browneyedgirlie said...
I can relate completely.You have to take care of yourself first and foremost.I hope you're able to find that balance and join us again soon :)
11/27/2005 9:05 PM
Thanks girlie! How goes the relationship? I should probably mention that I hate anyone in a solid relationship right now, so you may not want to answer.

Jill said...
I am happy to keep you on my blogroll, and I am sure you make a great three-dimension-human not-just-virtual-reality kinda gal pal. Find your balance but don't forget me either!
11/27/2005 9:35 PM
I am still completely unbalanced, so nothing to worry about there. And I've been reading your blog all week. Your stuff is too good to miss.

Neil said...
At first I thought this was just another stunt to get a whole lot of "I love you, Brooke" comments without doing any work. But now I see you were being real.Brooke, you know hard it is for me to hear this. I will now shave my head and walk through Tibet until you return.Honestly, we all spend too much time online, and it is important to remember that this isn't REAL LIFE. We'll miss your wit and kind words terribly, Brooke. So, don't take too long getting your life together... and enjoy all those shiny red apples that your students will give you for Christmas.
11/27/2005 10:32 PM
Neil, you know I've been reading your stuff too. I wouldn't miss my daily dose of Neil for anything. Oh, and thanks so much for writing about me on Blogebrity. Do you know how many hits I got from that? About four. Blogebrity sucks. For those of you who want to read his article abusing me, click here. I'm waiting for the next article to skewer me for coming back after a week.

Dating Dummy said...
Hey Brooke, I can relate completely. I'm in the same boat, and am trying hard to strike that balance. But tipping it back to the balancing point with ICG pretty much means spending less time on my blog. Take your time, then come back to us when you can!
11/28/2005 12:05 AM
DD, you and ICG are very lucky to have found each other. I'm guessing we will be seeing less and less of both of you as you begin your new life together. By the way, I hate you both.

MoDigli said...
I would never ever ever delete your name from my blogroll, Brooke! And don't feel badly about taking needed time for YOU! Honestly, I know I spend too much online, too. Why is it so addictive? I think it's just that I found such a community of support and like-minded ppl who are just like all of the descriptions you offered in your post. I know that with the re-balancing of your life, you will find and create a community of supportive and like-minded 3-D ppl, too! You're the best, and you deserve all the happiness and balance you can handle! Love ya!
11/28/2005 12:23 AM
It's way too addictive! Every now and then I just cut myself off from my computer. It's kind of like a relationship - one of those on-again off-again love/hate things. I really really need to find a man. Does your new man have any hot friends?

Spirit Of Owl said...
All the best to you Brooke. I'll be watching for your return, but if you find that you like the real world too much to come back, I wish you a wonderful life. :) X
11/28/2005 4:16 AM
Owl, you are so sweet. I hope I have a wonderful life even with the computer.

JJ said...
Bye, SMG. Come back soon.
11/28/2005 7:55 AM
WOW SMB, your heartfelt good-bye really has me all choked up.

boo said...
enjoy your break. come back soon brookester. miss u.
11/28/2005 8:22 AM
Boo! I used to have a boyfriend who called me Brookester. Crap, now I'm thinking about him.

cannot be trusted said...
Me, my wife, my Girlzilla, and my poochie will miss you, but we understand your decision. My Blogroll never gets updated, so consider yourself a mainstay!
11/28/2005 9:29 AM
Jacob, you guys totally make me feel like part of the family. What time is dinner?

Evil Petting Zoo said...
You have a permanent spot on my blogroll. Yours is one that I read on a regular basis. Yours is one of the first blogs I've ever read and commented on. I even think you were one of my first commenters. Great blogging aside, for that you will always have a place on my blog. Now go find that cop!
11/28/2005 12:49 PM
PEZ! One of my firsts! How are things with the girl who owns your smile? Oh, and I hate you too.

officer krupke said...
Brooke my darling, do what you have to. We will all be here waiting for you....or I will arrest everyone.
11/28/2005 12:51 PM
Damn you, couldn't you have dropped me off at my neighbor's house? They were loaded and had no kids.

Jo said...
But I just STARTED reading you! How not fair :-( Ah, well... I suppose you're worth waiting for! Hurry back!
11/28/2005 1:24 PM
Thanks Jo! I look forward to checking out your blog! And yes, I'm worth waiting for. At least that's what the boys have said.

thephoenixnyc said...
See you in a few hours. ; 0
11/28/2005 1:54 PM
You little shit. You buying the drinks when I come to NY?

Ubermilf said...
Sorry to see you go, but I am glad to be the hottest girl on blogger now.
11/28/2005 4:47 PM
Like you weren't before.

Brooke said...
You guys are wonderful. I'm not leaving forever! Honest! Not even close! I'll probably be back before the holidays. And I'm already making my little commments here and there. I just didn't want people to give me shit for not writing. Love you all! See you soon!
11/28/2005 4:52 PM
Shut up dumbass. They are all saying really nice things. Don't interrupt.

Tumbleweed said...
Damn it, I am new and you are truly an interesting person! I hope you come back so I can get to know you better!! Take care.
11/28/2005 5:01 PM
I love your name! And thank you for the nice things you said! I truly hope I can keep on being interesting - for both of our sakes.

Egan said...
Gosh, I was wondering if you would ever comment again. I mean you have some nerve to just stop blogging when you feel like it.
11/28/2005 5:33 PM
You really do miss me huh. Loser.

Kallun said...
"Whimsical fun"... I like to pretend you were talking about me then.Good luck.
11/28/2005 9:27 PM
You are definitely whimsical fun for me Kallun. And hopefully you will continue to be so when we finally have that torrid affair. Just remember lovah, I'm only going to use you for sex.

Monkey said...
It seems we were separated at birth? We both wrote similar posts in the same weekend? Amazing. I relate to your post completely. Balance. It's all about balance. Easier said than done. I too wanted to warn people that I will be around less on other blogs due to "real life". I've grown so fond of people here I couldn't just disappear without explanation. You are stuck on my blogroll under "Daily Fecal Samples" until the end of time. No worries there. We love you.
11/28/2005 9:35 PM
We do seem to be very similar in a lot of ways. Between our lack of fingers, our time living in Australia, and our bad taste in men, I'm thinking I finally found who Officer Krupke took me away from when I was a baby. If your family is rich, I'm going to be really pissed.

Menar Piggs said...
Brooke - Your stories are a book waiting to happen. Submit your stories to a magazine...perhaps you are on your way to a 4th career? I want your autograph.
11/28/2005 10:18 PM
You wouldn't happen to be a publisher would you? Cause that would be way cool.

LeMorse said...
Please...come over to my BLOG and read today's post. It means the world to me.
11/28/2005 10:48 PM
LeMorse, you come back after all this time to ask me for money? Bastard!

Evil Petting Zoo said...
Yay for Officer Krupke!
11/29/2005 12:48 AM
He may have a lot of 'xplaining to do.

Bill said...
Perhaps you should wean yourself off … You know, keep posting but stop making comments. Hmm? Just a thought! What do I know?Or maybe just start a new blog under another name and create a personality that only posts every four or five days and never comments? You know, someone stand-offish but groin numbingly sexy? Now that might be a plan!
11/29/2005 1:56 AM
All I got off from that comment was "groin numbingly sexy." Yes please, I'll take some of that.

cannot be trusted said...
I have some shit to give you. Here, SHIT!
See, you truly are like family.

WhiteBoyBob said...
I'll be checking up periodically to make sure we don't miss your grand return
11/29/2005 2:22 PM
I'm here! Where is the brass band? And the cake? I thought for sure there would be cake.

Calzone said...
Your blog sucks
11/29/2005 7:24 PM
Nobody knows more about sucking than you.

BamaGirl said...
Good luck! It will be hard to tear yourself away from your computer, I'm sure! Let us know how it goes!
11/30/2005 12:45 AM
It went great! I discovered that balance is highly overrated.

Mary Worth said...
Young lady, you have done a wise thing. The more I learn of this blogging business, the less I like it. It seems to be polluted with unemployable layabouts and sexual deviants. I'm old, and haven't had a solid bowel movement in months.
11/30/2005 1:33 PM
Do you think you could introduce me to some of the sexual deviants? Preferably the ones with six-pack abs and really low IQ's, please.

cannot be trusted said...
Someone is giving you shit over at Blogebrity, too. Neil.
11/30/2005 2:40 PM
Neil actually emailed me the link. Because of Neil, I am a blogebrity for not blogging. How cool is that?!

sandra said...
we all go through phases/stages like this. i'm sure you'll get it all figured out. you'll be missed, but not forgotten.
11/30/2005 7:12 PM
Thank you Sandra. I'm not sure I was missed since I was only gone for a few days, and it's very likely I was completely forgotten since I was only gone for a few days. But it's the thought that counts.

charming, but single said...
You'll be back in a week. I know it.
12/01/2005 12:33 AM
Even less. Dammit, I am so transparent.

Lord Duke Nick Seaman said...
It is I, Advocatus Diaboli. You may know me as Lord Duke Nick Seaman of Queue and Eh? fame.I come bearing news of a brand-shitting-new interview!Curse my unfortunate rhyme!Little Miss Knit gives good interview, come and check it out! Right Now!If you harbor any desire to ever be interviewed you will come and check this out!
12/01/2005 2:22 AM
I harbor no desire to be interviewed, but I will go read it anyway because I love Knitty and I want to show your blog support. By the way, you are such a whore.

Jaxe said...
Just the ebb & flow of life, babe ;-) We'll be here for you if you need us (assuming we're not also on sabattical, hehe) *hugs* I hope you are well!j
12/01/2005 3:34 AM
You wrote this on a Thursday. Were you half naked when you hugged me?

Lo Lo Lova said...
Miss you Brooke! Good luck finding the perfect balance :)
12/01/2005 9:31 AM
Oh Lo Lo, being that we are both so anal retentive, what do you think the chances are of ever finding perfect balance?

Anonymous said...
I love you Brooke!
12/01/2005 1:38 PM
I'm just going to assume you are the man of my dreams. I love you too, Viggo!

To those of you who came by but didn't leave a comment, thanks for dropping by and come back soon. For those of you who didn't even notice I was gone, go fuck yourselves.

I'll Be Back

Dear Blogger Buddies,

In the last few days I've come to realize that I need to take a break from blogging. I have been spending entirely too much time in front of the computer, and I have come to rely on my fellow bloggers for friendship more than I should. I started out blogging to write and express myself, having no idea about "comments" or "communities" here in blogland. I have been fortunate to find myself surrounded by a fantastic mixed bag of people. Some are truly talented writers, some are incredible humorists, some are heart felt journal writers, and some are just whimsical fun. I appreciate every one of you.

Today it became clear to me how much I am neglecting other aspects of my life. I have not been working out or taking care of myself. I have been staying up too late and waking up too early in order to spend more time on my computer. I have ignored phone calls from friends to write comments or posts, or even just to IM. But most of all, I have personal aspects of my life that need to be dealt with, and unfortunately I can't deal with them here.

This is not the end of my blog. I have worked too hard to create this damn thing and to make these fantastic friendships to give it up for good. I need to find some balance in my life, and until I am able to do this, I am going to limit my daily computer time. I'm sure many of you will still find me lurking about now and then and maybe even making the occasional comment. But for now, I won't be posting anything new or sharing anything personal about my life.

I love you all. Please don't delete me from your blogrolls. Like The Terminator, "I'll be back."

Much love,

Brooke

Happy Birthday Ubie!

It's the fabulous Ubermilf's, aka Her Milfesty's, birthday today! May all her milfy wishes come true! We love you Ubie!

Power Words

Words are amazing things. They can chastise, insult, curse, and cut. They can encourage, compliment, praise, and mend. While the scar from a physical cut can heal; the scar from cruel words almost never leaves us. Words communicate a myriad of emotions, and they have become all the more powerful due to this remarkable thing we know as the internet. It's incredible how so many words are out there for everyone to view with just the click of a mouse.

The blogworld centers around the written word. Some of us are gifted in how we put our words together. Some of us are not so gifted - to put it kindly. Some use words to express their frustration, or humor, or love, or religious beliefs. Some use them to make others laugh. Some use them to make others think. Some write words only for themselves, while others write for as many people to read as possible.

What I have found most fascinating in the blogworld is that a person's personality can be seen in their words. We can see the sarcasm (usually), the pain, the laughter, the fear. And we can tell the difference between sincerity and bullshit in almost every post. Sometimes we can be fooled, but usually not for long. Blogging has created a whole new world, and like most worlds, it is made up of many small communities. I feel lucky that I have found my way into a very special blog community, and even luckier that it just keeps growing with new and interesting people.

In elementary education, power words are words that are used repeatedly and therefore important to memorize (sometimes referred to as high frequency words). Out in the big bad world, the term power words often refers to words that express positive affirmations. This past weekend, one of the special people in my blog community wrote a beautiful and thoughtful blog - a perfect example of power words - and I was lucky enough to be the recipient of this lovely gesture. Sarah, the author of the fabulous The Only Reason I Feel Secure*, created a post just for me, for no other reason than to make me feel blessed and good about myself. She had no agenda, gave me no indication it was coming, and got nothing out of it but my sincere and heartfelt thanks. Her powerful words made my day. They made my month. They were indeed a blessing. And I won't forget them. Thank you Sarah. You are classy, lovely, and full of grace. I wish the world was filled with people like you.

**Note to readers: Now go read her blog and give her lots of power words back! And add her to your bloglist! And ooooh and aaaah over her gorgeous baby pictures! And tell her husband Jacob* how fabulous he is too!

*Bloggers are no longer blogging. Links removed.

The Road to Blogdom

So today is International Webloggers Day. How lucky am I that I joined this community only a week before such an important event! I hope it's a paid holiday, especially since I have done little else today but read blogs and watch Buffy reruns. Speaking of which, who do I call about paid blogger vacation days anyway?

Many people are taking this opportunity to write about what got them started on the road to blogdom. Because I have not had an original thought all day, I will follow suit. Besides, it's a good story. Well, I think it's a good story. You may not. If you don't, I'm sure you will inform me of this in the comments section. Keep in mind I am very sensitive, so if you don't like my story, go fuck yourself.

My mom called me last week to tell me that she ran into the mother of a boy I knew a long time ago. She told me all about how successful he is now, married, kids, blah blah blah. I had a massive crush on this boy in junior high that dissipated in high school after a night of smooching on the beach. Not that he didn't smooch well, but it just sort of didn't live up to my adolescent expectations. I thought there would be hearts and flowers and angels singing. Instead I got sand in my underwear and a hickey on my collarbone. After we hung up, I did what every other single white female does in the 21st century after hearing about a lost love - I Googled him.

His name is not all that common, so I got about 1000 links - which if you know anything about Googling - is not a lot. In comparison, my name brings up 3,000,000 links, all due to some writer named Christine Brooke-Rose who is clearly taking up all of my Google space. And dammit - now I have added yet another link to her name. Anyway, I looked at some of the sites that listed his name, but couldn't seem to locate him. I even hit the images link to see if I could find a photo, but the only picture was of a middle-aged man with receding hair and very unfashionable eyewear. I searched again under the links, and finally found the website of where he works. Right job and right area, must be the right one. I clicked on his name, and the picture of the middle-aged man with receding hair and very unfashionable eyewear popped on my screen. To say I was completely and utterly freaked out would be an understatement. I could actually feel myself going into shock. This guy used to look like George Clooney - now he looks like George Costanza. I suddenly felt....oh my God....old.

In my middle-aged panic, I began frantically Googling every boy I had ever had a crush on, dated, or known in even the slightest biblical sense. The ones with the All-American boy names were impossible to find unless I wanted to devote the rest of the summer to sorting through the 11,000,000 or so links, so I crossed them off the list and decided that they are still hot. I found a couple of my Aussie exes, and thankfully they looked good - different - but still good. I found a few others that looked pretty much the same - a little older - but still pretty much the same. I started feeling a little better. I could feel my legs again. I decided to Google the aforementioned beautiful boy from my Maybe I'm a Little Gay post. I typed in his name, hit search, and then images.

The very first picture listed was him. Black and white. Shirtless. Modeling. Yes you read that right, modeling. He is in his 40's, and he is modeling with no shirt on. I wasn't sure which was more shocking, seeing the middle-aged man with the receding hairline or the uber-stud in his shorts. I clicked on the picture, followed the link, and came upon a blog. What the hell is this? What the hell is a blog? Some sort of online journal it seems, where people scan pictures from local magazines of half naked men. I'm in. (The blogger actually described him as beefcake). I decided to click the Next Blog button at the top of the screen, and three hours of reading later, I was signed up and writing my first post.

And that is how I found myself on the road to blogdom. I am spending more time on my computer than ever, which is hard to believe, but it has been a fabulous creative outlet. I did hesitate about putting my real name on my blog, but I figured as long as I don't mention real names or sexual situations, I should be ok. Besides, now I may actually pop up on Google!

The World of Blog

So here I am, entering the world of blog. Blogging? Bloggering? Whatever. No matter what you call it - it's a babblefest of epic proportions. I should have just called this the babblefest. Ah, see! This is the story of my life - overthink tiny things - like what should I name my blog - and jump right into major things - like going back to school to change careers. Which I did, graduated with high honors just last month, thank you very much! So I went from being a chef....to being a technical recruiter (ok that was only for one year...kind of like the transitional career...much like the transitional boyfriend...we'll talk more about that later)...to now becoming a teacher. Yes sir, all that education, time, and work to join one of the lowest paid professions in America. Woohoo! But teaching is a noble profession - and I am honored to become a part of it. I'm sure this blog will have much more on this topic, as well as cooking, decorating - am I the only one who is addicted to HGTV? - football, travel, general opinions, and various other priceless little tidbits.

Wow, now that wasn't so bad at all! Now I must add a picture - just because I can.