Monday, December 29, 2008

Is This Thing On?

I have not been much of a blogger lately. Life tends to get in the way of such endeavors. And yet I can not bring myself to shut down or completely abandon my own little space in blogland. Most of the people who actually read my stuff in the past are either gone, on Facebook (ahem), or have given up the Internets completely, and even I am not sure I have anything to say worth reading.

Last night I spent some time going over my archives. At one time I was a pretty damn good writer. I went into this as a way to express myself and share funny stories from my somewhat deviant past, never realizing that blogging can very easily take over your life. Where did I find the time to write these entertaining little anecdotes? And then comment with such wit and wisdom on other blogs? And why did I have that giant L on my forehead?

In a rare moment of absolutely clarity, I realized that I wrote about so much about my past because not much was going on in my present - and the future didn't look all that exciting either. Actually that's not true. I had many dreams for my future - I just didn't know how to make them happen. I wanted to move home, buy a house, and get a dog. I also wanted a boy and a smokin' body. A smokin' body for me, not the boy. No wait, actually for the boy too. I've probably mentioned this 12 or 20 times on this blog at one point or another.

But things turned out differently than I expected. My future did change for the better. Moving home was the smartest thing I have done in years. Not to say that Florida was a mistake - it wasn't. I went back to school, started a new career, and made wonderful friends that I still stay in touch with on a regular basis. But coming here has been life-altering. I got a great job and work with fabulous people, I started working on my Master's (and I am about to start my ninth class out of ten), I bought a home, got a dog, and am generally - wait for it - happy. Yes, I am happy. It's hard for me to even type the word, so long have I truly felt this feeling. And I can't fight this feeling anymore...I've forgotten what I started....OK stop that. It's not necessary to make jokes about happiness. And that giant L on my forehead? It must have gotten lost in the move.

When I moved into my home after living in my mother's den for the better part of a year, I lovingly unpacked my many boxes that had been held prisoner in storage for so long. Never has unpacking felt so sweet. As I ripped through my kitchen gadgets, I found a little chalkboard that had been hanging in my Florida kitchen. I had drawn a picture of a house on it, complete with chimney and yard. Amazingly, the chalk drawing was intact. It was my own little dream photo, and there I was, holding a picture of the very dream that had come true. Two weeks later, I brought my puppy home. I quickly added him to the picture and hung it up in my very own kitchen.

I have no idea where I am going with this post. I think I just wanted a place to express my gratitude. I am beyond grateful for how things are going in my life. 2008 has been an extraordinary year for me and because of this, I am have never been so excited to see what a new year can bring. In 2009 I will achieve a Master's degree when not so long ago I hadn't even graduated from college. In 2009 I will achieve the smokin' body that I long for. And in 2009 I will find the one I have been waiting for.

Maybe I should put him in the picture too. Just to make sure.

Happy 2009 everyone! May all your dreams come true!

41 comments:

Sizzle said...

It makes me very happy to hear about your happiness. I'm so glad you're dreams are coming true!

All Mod Cons said...

I'm still reading. An excellent little summary, I was thinking of doing the same having read through all my archives (from teabagsandashtrays and phoqueme). Feels really strange going over all my old posts. Amazing how life changes right before your eyes without you ever really noticing sometimes.

mernitman said...

Yes, put him in there.

Before Tater and I met she had recently compiled a list of all the things she wanted in a guy (and a relationship). She made it amazingly specific. And amazingly, I turned out to fit pretty much all of what she'd requested... including a few items that I grew into (e.g. the love of dogs, which I hadn't really experienced until Molly fell in love with me).

All of this is by way of saying -- as I'm sure you know, but it doesn't hurt to hear it from a friend, right? -- there is a power in intentions and asking for... well, not so much "what you want" but what you feel that you're striving to be worthy of, yourself. Or someone who's ready to meet the best of you. Or something like that.

And then of course, it happens when you're not looking for it to happen.

Meanwhile: It was great to read your rambling meditation, as it felt like being at your side in the moment you were figuring out it was okay to own being happy. Be happy!
It goes around.

Tim said...

This looks familiar. I think I drove by your house the other day.

I hope your 2009 is even better than 08.

yournamehere said...

The sun is dangerously close to your house! Run for your life!

browneyedgirlie said...

Happy New Year, Brooke :)

You've helped me keep hope alive that 2009 will, in fact, be the year when all my dreams will come true, too!

Nance said...

Raise your doorframe--he looks like a tall one! Happy New Year, Scarlet. I'm all for dreams coming true, and the sooner the better.

Scarlet Hip said...

Sizz - thank you. I heart you so.

AMC - I loved the name teabags and ashtrays. And you're right, if nothing else, blogging gives you a chance to really see your recent past.

Billy - you have no idea how much it means to me that you actually take the time to read my crap...err...blog. You're published for God's sake! And thank you for what you said. It is nice to hear it from a friend.

Tim - right back atcha baby. Maybe this summer we can finally hang out together on the beach.

Todd - I have no depth perception. It interferes with my art.

Girlie - glad to have been able to spread some sunshine. Let this be our year!

Nance - I have no depth perception. It interferes with my art. (And happy 2009 to you too sweetie!)

dizzy von damn! said...

this makes me really happy too!

2009 *IS* going to bring us all those things.

i'm so so so pleased for you.

xo

Diedre said...

I am very happy for you!!

G3T Films said...

Happy nude year!

It does all sound very satisfying. Years like that are fantastic. I only got fat and had my head professionally cleaned out. Thank god that years over :D

egan said...

Finally a post from a blogger that doesn't mention how much they drank last night or mention the medications they're on. I'm really happy for you and how 2008 treated you. I think you're a great person and have tremendous awareness. Keep it up and here's to a great 2009.

Miss Pants said...

Hooray for 2008! I am glad it has been so good to you, hopefully the next year will continue to bring more happiness!

cajunvegan said...

It was a fucking fabulous surprise to see a little one next to your blog's name in my reader.

Happy New Year!

Spinning Girl said...

I have goose bumps!!

Scarlet Hip said...

Dizzy - yes, with an emphasis on the *US*.

Diedre - well thank you stranger! How have you been?

Rich - a good head cleaning is just what you needed. I'm sure you're still quite the spunk.

Egan - right back atcha babe. By the way, when I went through those archives I found our interviews. Hilarious!

Pants - and you as well love. And you as well.

Cajun - so glad you commented! I couldn't find your new blog due to my pathetic blogging activities of late. You have been duly updated.

Spinning - I have a cream for that. Happy New Year to you and your loving goofball.

Dan-E said...

no mention of the fact that football playoffs are about to start? that has to factor in there somewhere.

seriously though, i'm glad things are working out for you in jersey.

egan said...

Those were fun times with those interviews. All those discoveries ahead of us. Now we're on to bigger and better things. Happy 2009!

Bone said...

Wow! That was quite inspirational. So good to hear things are wonderful for you.

In 2009, I will friend you on Facebook!

Toby said...

I drank a ton last night and I'm on vicodin and some other muscle relaxer. Happy new year. ;-)

Übermilf said...

I think if you start flashing people again you'll have more blog fodder.

Southernspeak4 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
yournamehere said...

I love the smell of crazy in the morning.

Scarlet Hip said...

Oh for fuck's sake. Not this shit again.

egan said...

Well, aren't you kind. You left this shit on your site. I wasn't so pleasant. Todd, did you receive the same present?

Scarlet Hip said...

You're right, Egan. I'm deleting this poison.

Nick said...

Squares!

Princess LadyBug said...

Here's hoping that trend keeps up for you. Goodness knows you've earned it. :)

I posted an award for you on my blog.

http://princessladybug.blogspot.com/2009/01/lemonade-anyone.html

G3T Films said...

I have a Kola Bear on my site. It's like a Koala, with a drinking problem.

Übermilf said...

I ate potato chips today.

Lil Red said...

Where are thou Brooke?

The Real Me said...

Brooke, Rosehip or whatever you're calling yourself now... I left for a while.
I came back.

Are you still in love with Viggo?

Mikeachim said...

I'm hoping that your absence from here means that life is just too damn fun to sit down and blog at the moment. :)

Toby said...

Whatever!

Übermilf said...

If you are on a bi-yearly blogging cycle, you're due pretty soon.

matty said...

As we near past the half way mark of 2009, I hope all the dreams of yours are being reached!

Sending you a big hug!

love and kisses,
matty

waitress said...

think you are still a pretty good writer. keep it up!!!

waiter said...

Some people think you are STILL a pretty good writer. Keep it up!!

CP said...

Thinking of you girl.

CP

DavidShag said...

This is the first of your entries that I have read, and I am struck by the similarities between us. I started blogging on Spaces in 2005 when I was in Alabama. I too moved home and achieved my dream (in my case, retirement). I also found I wrote mostly about the past, although less because the present was empty, than because I wanted to -um, I don't know, honor? - those I have lost or left behind, or the me that had other dreams. And I just returned from a 3 or 4 month hiatus from blogging. Oh - And you actually wrote more than would fit on a Facebook entry - like you think as well as write. Nice to meet you.

Brian said...

This blog sucks.