Wednesday, June 29, 2005

The (Accidental) Flash

I don't like to get dressed in the morning. Not one bit. Especially when my plans for the day include television, reading, and blogging. Who needs all that clothing? I'm on summer break and I don't feel the need to dress like a soap opera actress if I'm not leaving the house. (Did you ever notice on soap operas they are all dressed up to sit around their houses? Probably because they have so many visitors since nobody uses the phone on the soaps. Nobody seems to work on the soaps either. I want to live in a soap....but I digress.) I also tend to sleep with nothing on. This is not meant to entice or titillate, it's just hot here in Florida. My point is, I don't like to wear a lot of clothing at home. But since clothing is a necessity in case Sonny Corinthos should stop by, I drag the process out by getting dressed in stages.

Stage 1: walk around with nothing on for a while. Hey, I live alone and I'm on the 4th floor, so shut up.
Stage 2: put on underwear. Avoid the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, aka the bra.
Stage 3: put on a long tee-shirt, in case I spill coffee.
Stage 4: shorts or pants, bra - only if I am getting the mail or actually venturing out doors.

So today is no different than any other day when it comes to dressing. I was just in the middle of Stage 2 when I decided to open the blinds in my room. The light came pouring and .....did I mention that I live on a canal with lots and lots of boats? Being on the 4th floor I don't usually worry about being seen in my various stages of undress, but today there was a very beautiful, very large sloop docked outside my window. Its mast had to be at least...well...four stories tall. I know this because there were two tanned blonde men up on the mast doing whatever it is that tanned blonde men on very tall masts do and we were directly in each others' line of vision. It was as if they heard me open the blinds - which is fairly impossible - or they have some sort of man radar that goes off when a half-naked woman is within view. Either way, it was an Accidental Flash.

I snapped the blinds shut and sent up a prayer that they didn't see the boobage. Maybe there was a glare on the windows. Maybe they couldn't see through the tree branches. Maybe their man radar didn't go off. Seconds later I heard the sounds of two men clapping and cheering. So much for the maybes.

It seems they did, indeed, see the boobage.

I'm sure everyone has been a victim of the Accidental Flash at some point or another. Today was just my turn.

I won't be leaving my apartment today.

55 comments:

Major7 said...

OMG... that is what men dream of! Even now, there are two, blonde mast-men telling this story over and over. Who knows, there may even be a boat parade outside your window tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed (and the boobage ready).

Brookelina said...

Yes, and I'm sure my boobs get bigger and I get much hotter in each retelling!
Thank God they didn't see my ass.

Marel Lecone said...

Really funny. LOL Most definitely you must have made their day. Hey, we all have to do our part. You know, making the world a happy place.:)

gone said...

My wife has a funny story that is similar, but I won't retell it without her permission. Needless to say...I had a bit of a chuckle over this one.

Ruben said...

You go Brooke. Everyone should flash someone at least once in thier life. You know you felt like a rock star after you did it. Admit it! Admit it, I say!

MoDigli said...

heheheh... that is hilarious!!!! You CRACK me up! BTW, I LOOOOOVE summer vacation weekdays when you just hang out in the house and do whatever you want. Ahhh, the teacher's life in summer! :)

Lorena said...

you are funny :) you are great at story telling. it's true in soaps they are rarely on the phone, well maybe for 30 seconds. i use to watch All My Children but now I don't watch any. never thought i would stop.

never had an accidental flash or maybe i don't remember. well now you got me thinking of it... :)
great post!

Lo Lo Lova said...

I'm more of a Jason Morgan fan myself, but I understand the whole attraction to Sonny.

Nice move on the flashing... You didn't even have to leave your house to be a "girls gone wild" girl. At least you made blonde and blonde's day. Kudos :)

Brookelina said...

Marel - I feel better now that my boobs have made the world a happier place.

Jacob - show your wife my blog and then encourage her to let you share her humiliation as well.

Ruben - yes, a rock star. I'm thinking Courtney Love without the heroin. By the way, I tagged you below - can't wait to hear about your childhood!

Brookelina said...

Mo - yes! Encourage my slovenly - and slutty - summer behavior!! You rock!

Lorena - I actually remembered another accidental flash from years ago while I was on a boat. Going too fast, bikini top flapping, a party boat going by...you get the picture. Just hope we were going so fast they didn't really see.

Lo Lo Lova - see? Girl Gone Wild would have been a better title! lol. I too think Jason is hot. It would be difficult picking between the two. Sonny is sexy. Jason is fine. There's a blog - who would you do?

Cincysundevil said...

Hhhhmmm ... do you know if that boat is taking applications for jobs on the mast?

Damien said...

Life would'nt be worth living without the chance of the odd accidental flash, but really is there really any such thing as an 'accidental' flash.

Brookelina said...

Cincy - I don't know. I won't be opening my blinds until October.

Damien - there is TOO such a thing! You shut up!! LOL!

Übermilf said...

Brooke, happy soap opera and boob day.

I, two, fail to see the point of gussying up to sit around the house. Of course, if my house was magically spotless like soap opera houses, maybe I would. Or if my kids grew from birth to adulthood in 2 years. That would take a lot of stress off of me, too.

Rob Danger said...

I live in a basement apartment and people can easily look in, I've definately made the mistake of not closing the blinds before my naked-strut of the day.

Major7 said...

Flash, I love you, but we only have 14 hours to...

Oops, this was supposed to be on your other blog.

my bad

*hehe*

Brookelina said...

Uber - and they always grow up to be uberstuds and studettes as well! Thank goodness as nobody wants to lay around in slovenly laziness looking at people that look just like ourselves.

Flesh - I love your name. Love it love it love it. I will be right over to your blog.

WhiteBoyBob said...

I spend as much time with as little on as possible. Not because I'm an exhibitionist or anything, I am just very, very lazy. And when it's damn hot, there's nothing better than stutting around in the buff. I'm sure I've flashed the neighbours by accident, because on a weekend I can usually be found at the back doors of my house, mug of coffee in hand surveying my back garden - naked. It's what God would want I'm sure!

yournamehere said...

Oh yeah.

Anthony said...

Brooke- at least your nudity was an accident...

MoDigli said...

hey ~ I wanna know if that's a real picture of your room on this post!? If so, nice place and cool colors!

Brookelina said...

Major - LOL!

Todd - love your new pic.

Anthony - at least your nudity was alcohol-induced.

Brookelina said...

Mo - got the pic off the net when I googled *blinds*. LOL Nice colors huh?

Egan said...

That's hot. Love the clapping to confirm the sighting. Thankfully no one knocked on your door shortly afterwards.

Brookelina said...

Egan - I didn't think of that. But now I'm wondering if I should be happy or insulted that there was no knock. Great - now I'll be up all night.

Brookelina said...

whiteboybob - I feel much better now. That comment should make Anthony feel better too.

Nick said...

God that's just great. For the guys.

When i wake up every morning the first thing I do is pray. When I am having my moment with The Lord, I ask him for certain things. I ask him to watch over me and my family during the day. I ask him to watch over my friends and their families. I ask him to somehow hook my shit up with free pie and finally I ask him to let me or, at least, some random dudes see some boobs. It's good to know that prayers really do come true.

Brookelina said...

LOL!!! I'm so glad I could be an answer to your prayers!

Mister Underhill said...

I never seem to be the 'victim' of the accidental flash :(

Ayn Marie said...

I can totally relate to not wanting to get dressed. In my opinion, if I am just planning on staying home all day and, like you said, eating, watching tv, and blogging (oh yes and taking care of my baby) why get dressed???? The only thing that would do would be to create more laundry! so, I stay in my pj's or just put on whatever it is I was wearing the day before (which, was probably my pj's!!)

darth said...

so...are they still out there? weighed anchor and all that? (i'm just guessing at the sailor talk stuff)

sunshine said...

Those poor schmucks were probably on the mast doing boring chores and getting ready to slave away on the poop deck, and you ended up making their day. You go, girl!

Spirit Of Owl said...

Turn poop deck upside down and it says boob deck. Well, not quite, but it should.

Maybe tomorrow you'll have a whole audience of sailors hanging around outside your apartment. They'll have ladders, ropes, pullies and everything. Very resourceful lot, sailors. :)

Brookelina said...

Mr. Underhill - I'm not sure who the victim was here.

Ayn - thank you for justifying my laziness!

Darth - yes, the boat is still out there. However, my blinds will be staying shut for the season.

Sunshine - I think I'm going to start looking at this from that point of view!

Owl - boob deck. I like that!

joanne said...

Wow, that's too hysterical. I am sure you did make their day. I don't think I have accidentally flashed anyone before, but I have flashed on purpose before.

LeMorse said...

Hoping their man radar didn't go off? hahahaha Mine went off and I am in California.

R. U. Serious said...

Note to self: buy big boat.

Damned If I Know

Mariangela said...

You did your good deed for the day!

gone said...

My wife has read your blog and hopefully she will now post her story herself. We shall see.

The Moviequill said...

I am not posting here because of the aforementioned boobage, naked flashing, construction worker's erect poles...I mean masts, I was posting because...oh crap, now I really do forget what it was so I'll just say hello instead

Rob Danger said...

Have you accidently exposed yourself to anyone since?

Brookelina said...

Jo-Anne, that's going to have to be a blog for you. The Flash! Or better yet, The Flasher!

Brookelina said...

LeMorse - clearly I was right about the man radar thing! Naked woman - men know.

Brookelina said...

R.U. Serious - don't forget - with a big mast.

Brookelina said...

Mari - yes, I'm a saint now! Saint Boobage!

Brookelina said...

Jacob - I'm so happy to be an influence. I look forward to reading someone else's humiliation.

Brookelina said...

Moviequill - thanks a lot. That was very convincing. LOL

Brookelina said...

Flesh - no. In the 24 hours since the boobage show - I have managed to keep them under wraps. I'm so very proud.

A. Estella Sassypants said...

You definitely should've opened the blinds back up and squashed your girls to the window. Just to spite 'em.

Brookelina said...

That is exactly what my friend said!!!! Almost word for word. Spooky!

A. Estella Sassypants said...

Great minds and all that....

Bert said...

in addition to the glass squashing, you most definetly should have opened the blinds back up and taken a bow.

Brookelina said...

Probably could have gotten some free drinks out of it.

Gordy said...

Frickin hilarious post! When do your fellow bloggers get tp see the evidence tho :-)

thephoenixnyc said...

I want an "on purpose" flash.