Thursday, June 16, 2005

Single Grey Pachyderm Seeks Same....

Name: Lucy The Elephant
I am a: 125 year old woman
Located in: Margate NJ
Seeking a: 100-150 year old man
Body Type: Curvy
Turn ons: standing, staring, seeing my image on souvenirs
Turn offs: hurricanes, winter, gum

About Me
Hi! I never thought I would try this internet dating thing, but here goes! My name is Lucy the Elephant. I'm 65 feet tall, 90 tons, and can be seen from eight miles away. I'm 125 years old (I know, I know! I don't look it. I hear it all the time!), and I've lived in Margate, New Jersey my entire life.

5 Things to know about me:
I love people, which is a good thing since I have them running all over me all summer long! I am a historical landmark. It once took me seven hours to move two blocks. I live on a prime piece of oceanfront property. I have windows in my butt.

I'm looking for a nice, solid guy who likes the beach. That's pretty much it. Please include a picture with your response! Caio!

23 comments:

im here somewhere said...

response...
must be witty
willing to move to the tundra
and must not lick own butt.

yournamehere said...

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A: How do you eat with that thing?

Mona said...

Very funny post...I have seen you comment on several other blogs (nick, lilreddramaqueen, to name a few) so I thought I would stop by. Fun site!

im here somewhere said...

and must watch chick flicks...

Kallun said...

Hi,

My nam is Ram, and I live in Goulburn, NSW, Australia. I don't know how you feel about long-distance, cross-species relationships, but I saw your photo and I think that ewe are really hot... here is my photo (http://www.general.uwa.edu.au/u/
rpinna/big/pics/goulburn_ram.jpg)

Whaddya say, cutie?

Brookelina said...

lilred - must not lick own butt. Man, I wish I had thought of that one. lol

mona - thanks! And I like your blogs, very positive.

Ram - you are quite the big stud! I have no problem with the cross-species thing. We are all on this planet together! I am worried about the long-distance thing though. I haven't moved in 35 years.....perhaps pen pals?

gone said...

Hi Lucy, I am a giant bull living in Manitowac, Wisconsin. I too like standing and staring and letting random people attempt to climb my hard, slick surface. I like full figured women and you certainly fit the bill. I also prefer women who tower over me and are quite a bit older as well (do these qualify as fetishes?) My turn offs include spray paint, roudy boys with bottle rockets, and sea gulls with full bellies.

http://www.thom.org/post/edit.html?WIMWcow

click above to view my pic.

I am looking for a long term, long distance relationship. Oh, BTW, are you telepathic?

Evil Petting Zoo said...

I'm sure you're bombarded by emails but I thought I'd throw mine in the lot. A little about me....I love peanuts. Hopefully you do too. I have a good memory and never forget the important dates.

I tend to go for women with personality more than looks so the fact that you're 90 tons doesn't matter much to me. I love movies. My two favorite movies are Dumbo and Operation Dumbo Drop.

By the way I love the tusks.

Ruben said...

for some strange reason the picture of the elephant really freaked me out. I guess I'll have to have the doctor up my dosage of zanax or something.

Brookelina said...

CBT - it sounds like we have a lot in common! Am I telepathic? You tell me...right now you are thinking about sex as a seagull is unloading on your horns..am I right?


Evil - I'm sorry, but I require pics, after all, you've seen me!

Ruben - I find your picture very attractive. I'm sorry you have never considered a little elephant lovin'. Once you go pach, you never go back.

Mariangela said...

Too funny. I love that, once you go pach, you never go back. LOL

LeMorse said...

Ah Just think what the child of an Elephant and a Walrus would look like. hehehehehe And of course kissing would be tough with two sets of tusks to deal with. However the beach is obvious but I do require a good air conditioner. hehehe

Pink Lemonade Diva said...

The only thing funnier is that I've been inside poor Lucy,and even purchased a postcard from the Lucy gift shop! Ahhh America!

yournamehere said...

Odd, "I've been inside poor Lucy" is my favorited country song.

Brookelina said...

lemorse - what do you get when you cross a walrus and an elephant?

pink - cool!!! Philly girl!! I can see Lucy's ass from my window, I'm waving for you!

yourname - and so many men have sung that one too...poor Lucy..

Jeff F. Haines said...

Dear Lucy,

I hope you don't mind fame. I am trying to step out of the limelight. I think a nice quiet relationship with a Jersey girl would be a welcome change to the hustle and bustle of L.A. women. I am currently embroiled in a sticky divorce, but by August I will be a free man. (Minnie got half all my shit, the bitch.)

Please give me a chance. I know you and I would be facing more than just the paparazzi. There's also the issue of interracial dating. But if you can get past the "elephants fear mice" stereotype, I know we can make it work. I may be small, but I know how to use myself.

I've included a link to my pic.

http://albums.mouseplanet.com/AdrienneVincentPhoenix/75MM63_020405_AVP.sized.jpg

Email me soon.

Eagerly Yours

Mickey

LeMorse said...

You either get a WALEPHANT or an ELERUS. Either way it is cover with blubber and has one mean pair of tusks! And very happy to use them!

Anthony said...

No possible mates, but I know of two giant chairs it might be able to sit in and a giant bed frame as well. Nothing advertises a furniture store better than a piece of furniture that makes me think "fee fi fo fum..."

Brookelina said...

Anthony!!! Did you just call Lucy an....IT???? She's a girl!!!

Brookelina said...

Mickey, while you are very attractive, I am concerned about the fame issue. If Brad Pitt and I couldn't make it as a couple, then imagine the difficulty if I went out with Mickey Mouse!

Besides, I don't want to get the reputation as a star fucker....you understand.

Anthony said...

my appologies to lucy.

Brookelina said...

Accepted. She is very sensitive you know. And remember, an elephant never ......what was I saying?

Michelle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.