Sunday, March 12, 2006

Searching for Intelligent ...Never Mind

The following are some of the recent search phrases that have led to my blog. I seriously doubt that any of them expected to land here and read the random nonsense of a fucked up chick from Jersey who clearly needs to get laid. It is for these searches alone that I will never rid myself of my Site Meter- it's just too entertaining.

You looking for me?

Viggo's girlfriend - yeah baby!

babbling brooke - yes that's me.

Brooke - I actually come up number one on MSN!

Brooke Rose - this is slightly disturbing as there were several of these. There were also a number of image searches as well. Freaks? Ex-boyfriends? I guess we'll never know.

the babbling brook poem - yes, they write poems about my incessant babbling. And spell my name wrong.
It has occurred to me... it is possible ...that they weren't looking for me...

brooke is a jerk - well that's just rude.

brooke flavor of love pumpkin - clearly I have been missing out on some classic television viewing.

brooke pool - most of these were searches for images. I come up first - no doubt disappointing to the those who were obviously looking for pictures of Brooke Burke naked by a pool.

fuck brooke - yes, thank you.


maloney's margate - yes people, the bar is now closed. Get over it.

don't you put me on the back burner - The Killers rule!

best tattoo parlour, amsterdam - it's the Hanky Panky, for those not in the know.

very funny pranks to do on your younger brother for kids - I have absolutely no idea what this means or how it landed on my blog.

"henk schiffmacher" hells angels - again, the Hanky Panky. I think I should get a cut of any business I'm directing their way. Hear that Henk?

pussycat dolls keyring - what the fuck?

how did cinderella get her name - the cinders around the fireplace that her stepsisters made her sit by all the time. Don't you people read???

"sweet and sour" tattoo - Henk, seriously, we need to talk.

tattoo molly - Molly, if you are still out there, we need to talk too. It's not the first time people found you through my blog.


"make love like crazed weasels" - found in my comments. And apparently a favorite expression of both #7 and #9 on the list of the nine types of boyfriends.

"naked dad in the shower" - sadly, this phrase comes from a post I wrote about my students.

Dirty Poems "There once was a man from Nantucket" - again, found in comments. Do you really think I would write this? Ironically, I come up as number eight for this one on google.

accidental flash - I'm #1 baby!

"tickled me until I cried" - I can't help but think that this is the search of a fetishist.

story: accidentally flashing my boobs - clearly it happens to the best of us, and clearly it turns the pervs on.

hot sloppy seconds - this does not refer to me, thank you very much.

playing with twat - I'd like to thank all of my fellow twats for helping this search land here at The Babbling Brooke.

And My Personal Favorite

SHOW ME YOUR BEAVER - this is exactly how it was typed in, it doesn't get much better than this. I picture a pasty white lardass with excessive back hair screaming wildly at his spit spattered monitor in a torn wife beater and permanently stained tighty whiteys.

Isn't that what blogging is all about?


yournamehere said...

My wife beater is torn, but I'm hoping the stains in my tighty whiteys come out, thank you very much.
My blog is number one for "Dakota Fanning's underage femme-schlong". I purposely used that phrase several times a few months back. Oh, the things I do for science.

Love ya, Brooke.

Bill said...

I agree. I just looking checking site meter now and again to see what searches led to my blogs. One of the one's I keep scratching my heda over is, "planet brooke." I've had a few searches for planet brooke. What the hell is that?

Other favourite searches?

pronounce belarus
go shit in your hat
yes girl ass
what was the name of sir francis beauforts wife
things to look at when stoned
touch myself stripper

People are fascinating when they get on the Internet.

miss kendra said...

i got a twat one too.

we rule!

Egan said...

SiteMeter is a godsend. Look at all this ammo I now have to use against you Brooke. Hope you are well.

Flounder said...

I will not get over Maloney's being closed. Not now, not ever.

And deep down inside, I don't think that you will either.

In unrelated news...

I was looking at your blogroll and noticed that there is a spot there Egan Monkey Boy and Gordy.

Just saying.

Brookelina said...

Todd - if anyone actually did a search on that, they should be arrested and thrown in jail with the wife beaters.

Bill - there is a planet Brooke? How come they never find their way here?
planet Brooke
planet Brooke
planet Brooke
planet Brooke

Miss K - we are the deli meat twats.

Egan - like you need more ammo than you already have. And I'm hanging in there.

Flounder - get over Maloney's? As if! And that space has now been filled. Forgive me for taking so long...I've been a little slow on the uptake on many different things lately.

babyjewels said...

Can't a person just be interested in marsupials?

Seriously, Brooke. Just show it to me.

Flounder said...

I am such a whore.

jiggs said...

sweet tittays, my mercurial babe

Anonymous said...

Isn't everyone interested in reading the random nonsense of a fucked up chick from Jersey who clearly needs to get laid? That's the search phrase I used that landed me here.

Neil said...

Yeah, like you're not a pervert yourself.

ChickyBabe said...

Sitemeter is a perfect tool to turn normal people into addicts. Throw is key phrases like "how to know if a chicken is a male or female" and the blog posts write themselves!

Bill said...

I decided to google planet brooke to see what they were looking for. I should have known: porn. Someone calling herself Planet Brooke. Geez ... people are nothing if not predictable.

Brookelina said...

BabyJ - I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

Jiggs baby! I knew we had a special kinship.

Lynn - and now it will land some other unsuspecting innocent here as well.

Neil - just because I like role playing and watching guys play with themselves doesn't make me a pervert.
Does it?
Did I say too much?

Chicky - you got that right. Today somebody found my blog by searching for mutant strawberries.

Bill - planet brooke planet brooke planet brooke planet brooke planet brooke planet brooke planet brooke

Princess LadyBug said...

Sitemeter sounds fun. I might have to check it out.

Egan said...

Did someone just pander to you regarding your blogroll? Charge for that shit Brooke!

Brookelina said...

Flounder - I actually missed your whore comment. Yes, you are. It's way hot.

PL - don't blame me when you become addicted to it.

Egan - He did! He pandered! It was so cool! I really should have made him grovel. Dammit.

Knitty Kitty said...

I saw a guy at school with a t-shirt that said "I (heart picture)" and then a picture of a beaver shaving.

Mone said...

Thanks for the site meter ;) Got one too now.

Debby said...

OMFG, my head now hurts from laughing so hard at that last one!!

Cincysundevil said...

I came across your site when I was looking for scantily clad vixens eating vegemite. What a perfect find!

thephoenixnyc said...

Very funny stuff Brooke. Now SHOW ME YOUR BEAVER!! It might get you laid. ; 0

Übermilf said...

I want your blog to be #1 for Bill O'Reilly is a sexual predator.

Bill O'Reilly is a sexual predator.
Bill O'Reilly is a sexual predator.
Bill O'Reilly is a sexual predator.
Bill O'Reilly is a sexual predator.
Bill O'Reilly is a sexual predator.
Bill O'Reilly is a sexual predator.
Bill O'Reilly is a sexual predator.
Bill O'Reilly is a sexual predator.
Bill O'Reilly is a sexual predator.

Anonymous said...

Endless hours of entertainment... maybe I gotta get a site meter!

jamwall said...

i wanna make love to a weasil.

TrueJerseyGirl said...

Thanks for the tattoo shop reference for Amsterdam - I am going in the fall!

Melliferous Pants said...

I picture Cuba Gooding Jr. running around yelling "SHOW ME YOUR BEAVER!!!"

Spinning Girl said...

That is so awesome. Between your post and Jiggs', I am SO getting Sitemeter!!!!

Anonymous said...

I get shit like bleeding scrotum and shit like that. When I was marriedman, I got shit like "sexy turkey pics"

who in the fuck searches for that?!?

I'm so horny

Anonymous said...

Scared Bunny is #1 for "Heather got arrested for", and I get about 10 hits a day for it. No idea why.

Scary Personals on the other hand just gets a shitload of "scary ______" searches, although Technorati does send a lot of hits for "Borat".

Brookelina said...

KK - he sounds like a real catch that guy. Find out if he's single.

Mone - and another addict is born.

Debby - I attract the best!

Cincy - you've been stalking me for months. Months! Don't blame the Vegemite!

Phoenix - we'll talk soon.

Ubie - did you hear that Bill O'Reilly is a sexual predator?

TRM - oh you must. You must.

Jamwall - you romantic fool.

TJ - read Hanky Panky and the Homicidal Hooker, it's on my sidebar. That'll get you ready for tattooing.

Pants - I'd definitely show Cuba my beaver. Cuba Gooding that is, not the country of Cuba.

SG - Danny the copycat did a post about it too! It's all the rage! Get a meter!

Danny - oh hi honey, I didn't see you there. Who searches for that? I dunno. I'm horny too.

RUS - good to see you stranger. I checked out your personals site and it had me on the floor. Brilliant.

Bill said...

Is this where the bathroom is? Oh, sorry. Wrong blog. I must've used the wrong door.

Miss Natalie said...

SHOW ME YOUR BEAVER - who are these people who seacrh this stuff? hilarious

Bill said...

I had a gem today. Someone from England found me by searching, "polar bears wipe bum."

WHAT were they thinking?

Mone said...

You should have warned me first - this is fun :)

Thérèse said...

Yes. Yes, that is what blogging is all about.

You know, it's things like this that make me want to type in a million random things and see where I end up.

none - ya said...

I get a lot of hits from people in the UK because of the "bums" in my blog name. As in "big bums to the screen" and "bums in the sand", that kind of shit. I always just hope that they found what they were looking for.

Brookelina said...

Bill - this is not the bathroom. Keep that thing in your pants.

Natalie - a Sydney girl! Where are you? I spent a lot of time in Sydney, it's my home away from home. I love it there. I could go on all day about this....

Mone - I did warn you! You just got sucked in to the site meter vortex.

Therese - oh you must. You must you must!

Mack - stay away from the bums!

jiggs said...

so I'm a little disappointed that you haven't shown us your beaver.

Brookelina said...

Jiggs - get used to disappointment.

none - ya said...

"big hairy bums" and "pics of girls in nylons" were my favorites from yesterday.

How can you stay away from the "bum".

Übermilf said...

Write a new post or I'll spit on you.

JJ said...

The image searches were me, babe.

Think Frustrated said...

I get a lot for Thich Qang Duc, the dude whose pic is in my background. Then again, I also get a lot of "nude celebrity pics" searches. I love site meter.

Thérèse said...

So far, all I'm getting is porn. I'm as shocked as you are.

And since I'm a good student, I'll continue with the assignment, Teacher Brooke.

Ahem. Back to it for me.

Melliferous Pants said...

I bet there are a lot of upset Cubans right now.

I get bestiality hits EVERYDAY.

Buffy said...


The 'Crazed Weasels' one HAS GOT to be the best.

Lo Lo Lova said...

Brooke, you never cease to amuze me :)

Brookelina said...

Mack - the bums love me. And unfortunately, I love them too.

Ubie - that is so hot. It's almost worth not writing another post.

JJ - all you had to do was ask, lover.

TF - that picture is highly disturbing. It took me a week before I figured out what it was, and then I was sorry that I did.

Therese - when all else fails, the site meter post can't be beat. It's worth its weight in gold just for that.

Pants - what animals have you been fucking?

Buffy - and I thought the guy that wrote that in my comments had come up with it on his own. Imagine my disappointment.

Lo Lo - I miss you babe! Where ya been?

Melliferous Pants said...

This one time, a dog tried to fuck me.

The Dummy said...

You must have a famous beaver, Brooke.