A Mosquito, My Libido

I drove home from the hospital Thursday night thinking about the one thing that has been sorely lacking in my life of late - a good night's sleep. Spending so much time at the hospital (mom is doing much better thanks) has completely sucked the life out of me. I was so tired, so utterly exhausted, that I was actually having fantasies about sleeping. I could hear the bow-chick-a-bow-wow music in my head as my mind ran away with me...oooooh...the soft sheets that I just washed this morning...aaaaah....bed by 10:00 o'clock after a hot luxurious bubble bath....uuuuhhhh....yessss....yes...yes.....

At exactly 10:00 pm I slipped between the sheets, skin scented with milk and honey and tired muscles totally relaxed. I actually felt myself sinking into the bed, that wonderful drowsy state totally taking over my body. It wasn't long before I was drifting off into a well-deserved and blissful sleep...

Load up on guns...bring your friends...it’s fun to lose...and to pretend

What the hell is that. Do not tell me that is Nirvana. Do not tell me that one of my fucking neighbors chooses this night of all nights to blast their fucking stereo. Please no. Ok..give them a minute to realize that this is a school night and that it's a bit too loud...they'll turn it down...

Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck. I stood up and threw my window open, ready to unleash my inner Jersey girl. It was obvious that the music was coming from one of the boats docked outside the building, and I realized it was not really that loud after all. It was just loud enough to be like an insistent mosquito buzzing around my ears. And there was this other sound too - running water. So one of these fucking boat people was washing down their boat and blasting Nirvana at 10:00 at night. Sonofafuckingbitch.

With the Lights out...it's less dangerous...here we are now...entertain us...

I followed the sound to the sloop just outside my window. It wasn't someone washing their boat. It was someone washing himself. A man. A real live honest to goodness, hard-bodied, tanned and perfect male specimen - taking a shower on the dock - with a hose.

Thank you God.

I stared open-mouthed as he washed his hair, the lather running down his chest. I strained to see in the darkness if he actually had any clothes on or if God was indeed being really really good to me. No, I see Speedo. Black Speedo.

God is mean.

Sleep forgotten, I leaned on my arms and settled in comfortably against my windowsill for a good old fashioned perv session. I couldn't see his face, but I couldn't have cared less. His body was like a sculpture. A wet, almost naked, soapy sculpture. My inner Jersey girl was now shouting, "Take it off!!!" in my head, and I practically bit my tongue to keep it from popping out of my mouth.

I found it hard... it's hard to find ...oh well whatever nevermind...

He took it off. I saw butt.

God is good.

It struck me that sleep was not the only thing that I have been sorely lacking in my life. My mind was moving a mile a minute. I wonder if he's single... I really need a boyfriend...screw getting a boyfriend...too much work...can't we just make love like crazed weasels...which boat is that...is that one of the guys that I accidently flashed back in June...

I was so lost in my little reverie that I almost didn't realize that he had turned the water off and was drying off. Bummer, the show was almost over. I smiled, thinking what a nice and unexpected distraction this had been. And that's when he looked up and locked eyes with me.

For a second I froze, mortified that I had been caught so obviously perving on him. And then he smiled, a really big, really happy smile. I smiled back, laughing and embarassed, and pulled my window shut. I could hear him saying, "Oh come on...don't go!" as the window slammed closed.

I jumped back in bed, giggling to myself. I could still hear him trying to get me to come back to the window. I couldn't help but wonder what he had in mind. Was he going to try to convince me to come down and bang him on his boat? Did he want to flash me some more? Hmmmm....I was just curious of course...really curious. I got up from the bed and was just about to open my window again when I looked down and realized why I could still hear him begging me to come back.

I was stark naked.

God is mean.

I feel stupid...and contagious...here we are now...entertain us...