Thursday, January 12, 2006

Reason I Teach # 3

Ms. Wose: "Ok class, look at number seven now. In this one, we were looking for the word - the contraction - that means we would. Which of the answers did you select?

Student: "I picked we'd!"

Ms. Wose: "Excellent. That is correct. We're means we are, we've means we have, and we'd means we would. Good job. Now let's move on to number eight."

Student: "Ms. Wose?"

Ms. Wose: "Yes?"

Student: "Is that the same we'd that my daddy smokes?"

43 comments:

Egan said...

I'd love some, but I want to be Prez some day.

Nick said...

Righteous.

Were you a fucking narc and turn his dad in? I bet you were, you fucking narc.

Spirit Of Owl said...

ROTFL! Like everyone, I suspect, I thought Student was going to go for the "we'd in my shoes" line, and wahay! he blindsided me. :D

Melliferous Pants said...

I didn't know you had Calzone's kid in your class!

Nick said...

Oh snap!

Way to respect the dead, Pants.

The real me said...

How do you keep a straight face at these questions?!

Brookelina said...

Egan - just don't inhale.

Nick - no, I did not turn her dad in. He's a scumbag that she only sees every other weekend anyway.

Owl - she blindsided me too. I almost fell out of my chair.

Pants - Calzone has a little black girl living in the hood? Now it's all making sense....

Brookelina said...

Nick - come on, he's not dead. Clearly he was distracted by my breasts and forgot all about his suicide plan.

TRM - honestly - I did crack up. I just had to move on quickly before all the other kids chimed in with their parents' smoking habits.

ChickyBabe said...

I thought he was going to say, "Ms Wose, I just we'd in my pants!"

joanne said...

Funny, but you are too nice to Nick. :-)

Nick said...

Did you say something? I was distracted by your breasts.

Egan said...

Pants, I love it.

Brookelina said...

Chicky - she's a good one, she doesn't wee in her pants. I've already had one poo in her pants, so I'm sure that will be next!

Joanne!!!!!!!! You're alive!!!!! Holy moly!!!!!

Nick said...

I bet Joanne is a narc too.

Jill said...

I posted a pic last night and thought of you, Brooke. Not as nifty as the last one you pointed out to me, but interesting just the same...

Bill said...

For that alone I'd not only pass the kid I'd give him/her cake and ice cream or whatever it is they like.

A budding comedy writer! (Or a budding Jessica Simpson - one or the other.)

Dave said...

Thats better than anything I've heard in a comedy club in months...

Bill the Apostle said...

See you in hell

Veronica said...

LMAO

jiggs said...

I wondered by the contraction of we would was bold throughout this post.

If a little kid said that in front of me, I'd immediately think that she was trying to tell a pot joke and she would get sent off to detention. No pot jokes in my classroom, young lady!

I'm a fascist in the classroom.

Tumbleweed said...

No way! Did you make that up? That's the scariest thing I have ever heard!

Evil Petting Zoo said...

Where's Art Linkletter when you need him?t

Flounder said...

I'm going to call bullshit on this one. No way that kid said that.

I supposed you'd expect us to believe that they all giggle when you say Uranus, too.

Brookelina said...

Nick - bite me.

Jill - I saw it. My breasts are still heaving.

Bill - nope, just an innocent 6 year old.

Dave - feel free to use it. For a small fee.

Bill - so now you're a dumbass of biblical proportions.

Veronica - screw you.

Jiggs - try to remember I teach first grade. She made the best pot joke I've ever heard - just not on purpose.

Tumbleweed - welcome to the inner city!

PEZ - I wonder if Reader's Digest would have bought that one?

Flounder - it's absolutely a true story. Happened yesterday morning during SAT practice. No bullshit here. And of course they laugh if you say Uranus! Who doesn't?

gone said...

I'm wondering what your response was. Please elighten me because I'm sure this will come up in my Practicum II this term.

Brookelina said...

After I stopped myself from cracking up, I simply said, "No honey, that's a different word. Ask your daddy the difference. Let's move on."

JJ said...

No way. Plus I don't even know what he's talking about. And it should be legalized now. Whoa.

Calzone said...

LMAO!! thats too much!!! I smoke weed all the fucking time!!!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahaha

Bill the Apostle said...

Keep calling me names. I'm an apostle and Jesus hates you now

Brookelina said...

I love being home from work!

JJ - no more smoking for you, Mr. "I Almost Had a Heart Attack."

Brookelina said...

dickless blogsquatter.

Jesus loves me. It says so on all the bumper stickers.

FindingHeart said...

brooke, you have to send that to Reader's digest. They pay good $ for cutsie stories... that's at least a couple of bags of, uh, contractions on the street. Ha!

Gotta love the honesty of kids. Had a kid bring a video project one day. She didn't fully erase the previous video content. Um, apparently mommy and daddy were having fun with the camera one night. :)

Sizzle said...

ha ha ha ha.

:) sizz

none - ya said...

How do you do it and keep a straight face? I'm just glad you share it with us. Thanks!

miss kendra said...

no no.

it's more like the weed i want to be smoking.

Flounder said...

I'm calling bullshit on findingheart's video story, too.

Girl With An Alibi said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

I want to be a teacher!!!!

Brookelina said...

FH - that beats the hell out of my story!

Sizz - hehehe.

Kendra - I don't do that sort of thing. I'm a teacher. It's not allowed. Yes.

Flounder - you better clean up all this bullshit when you are done.

Girl - it's the best job ever! If you like low pay and no respect.

Jaxe said...

Bwahahahahahahahhahahahaaaa! LMFAO!

Just proves that they should drug test the freaking PARENTS before putting the kids in skOoL.

j

PS - just kidding...sort of. Have a good weekend, Troll !

Flounder said...

I thought that the teacher always had to clean up her classroom.

miss kendra said...

i said want to... not am.

sigh.

Sabrina said...

I would've arrested him.

But then, I'm in the mood to seriously kick some lawbreaker ass.

Marel Lecone said...

Please, God, bless these children!! Because they are too precious.

I am sorry though that this is the stuff that some kids face. I sure wish that parents (including me sometimes) would just get their act together and think of the children first. Damn!

Have a nice weekend, Ms. Wose. :)