Monday, January 30, 2006

On My Mind

So this is just a post about general stuff going on with me - random things that have been on my mind. I don't normally post about my day to day life. Ok, sometimes I do. Like the time I flipped off a cop. Or the time I got so pissed off at my class that I turned into an animated screen villainous. But it's not like I'm writing things like I went to the store... got some milk.. saw a cute guy... went home.... called my friend ...told her about the guy at the store...bored my blog readers into a coma with my mindless drivel.... I make an effort to leave out the routine things and only focus on the interesting stuff. If I don't do that with this post, tough shit. It's my blog and I can do what I want.

  1. As some of you may have noticed, I'm becoming more of a potty mouth than usual. I don't know whether it's the blog company I keep, or the fact that I have to watch my language so carefully at work that I completely lose it everywhere else. It's not really a major concern of mine. It's just something I've noticed. You should hear the things I say when I'm driving, I'd make Jesus and Co. blush. Fuck.

  2. I suck at writing fiction. I love doing JJ's Flash Fiction Fridays but I'm hopeless at writing anything that isn't the truth and all about me. I'm clearly a narcissistic self absorbed ham twat. This is why I've only done a few of them, and why almost all of them were actually true stories - except this one. Though that does sound like something I would do. The post below about the heartbroken girl with the indifferent father? That would be me. Every single word is true. For all you fathers and potential fathers out there, please remember, your daughters need your love and support. Otherwise they become completely fucked up basket cases like yours truly. We don't need any more of little Brookes running around, believe me.

  3. Every week I start a diet and every week I blow it in less than two days. What happened to my willpower? Does it die at a certain age? Can you buy willpower on ebay?

  4. Sometimes I wonder if teaching is for me. I do love my job, and I do love my kids. But there are times that I just want to toss them all under a bus. Is that wrong? On how many levels?

  5. An ex-boyfriend got in touch with me recently and is showing interest in getting together. I'm not really sure it's such a good idea, but I admit that I am tempted. I miss being with a guy, and I don't just mean in the sexual way. I miss sleeping next to him (and when I say 'him', I mean a man, not necessarily him) and knowing he'll be there when I wake up. I miss getting excited when the phone rings. I miss curling up on the couch together and watching football or a movie. I miss all the silly little intimate things that couples do. I am actually very interested in someone else, but there are several roadblocks in the way at the moment, and to be honest I'm not even sure that he is still interested in me. So I'll put it out there - do I call the ex and fall back on something familiar? Or hold out for the next possibly great thing? Discuss.

Thank you.


KC's Ladybyrd said...

I'm actually not commenting on the content of your blog, but on your blog itself. It's really nice. How did you include the clock, different pictures, and the content in your text that I can highlight and read?

You can tell I'm a real dummy when it comes to blogs. I just created my blog tonight. I was guessing the entire time.

If you don't mind, please share a little of the brains and creativity behind your blog.

Thanks, KC's Ladybyrd

at the Lake said...

I'm a real dummy too because I recently called up an X of mine for some of the reasons you listed (but for a couple others as well) and it was a terrible mistake! I'd have been better off going out and buying one of those fighting fish for $5...

yournamehere said...

Hey, thanks for the motherfucking shout-out as to why your language has become so cocksucking coarse. Have a cunty evening.

Sandi said...

Going back to the familiar can be comforting. but would you be going back? and not forward? I guess I would have to say it depends on why you guys broke up the first time.
As for going forward with the other possible relationship, how about laying it on the line to the newer guy and just asking if he wants to go out or not?
Ok, so I am an old lady, married way too long and haven't had sex in more years than I can maybe you shouldn't take my advice:)

yournamehere said...

I said all of that with love, of course. I think you're the best.

J to the fucking C said...

I'll pretty much always take some new shit over a rerun. The familiar seems like a good idea at first, but it always ends the same.

Monkey said...

Fuck. My language has gone down the mother-fucking cocksucking cunty toilet also. Can I blame Todd too?

Do not call the ex if you think you might be looking to fall back on the familiar. I did that once and ended up with ex-husband #3. If you knew how many times I wish I had had more willpower around that.... well... you wouldn't ask. Go forward. Do not recycle, unless it is for sex only.

Thus spake the Monkey's Human.

Monkey loves you. He will cuddle your armpit any time you like.

Calzone said...

I'd fuck him and steal his wallet.

higher1. said...

no shit.

J to the fucking C said...

So, your sidebar tells me you're feeling vulnerable. Wanna come over and talk about your feelings while I slip roofies into your drink?

Brookelina said...

KC - it took me months to get all that stuff up, and there are much better blogs out there. As you spend more time on your blog, you'll find all kinds of things to add. Give yourself some time. Good luck!

Lake - or a $20 whore. See? There goes the potty mouth again. I blame Todd.

Todd - no worries cockbreath. This is your fault!!!!

Sandi - we broke up because he is the ultimate commitment phobe - but he really is the perfect person to scratch the itch with.

Todd - right back atcha.

JC - so that's a vote for the new shit. I'm sure the new shit will be pleased, if he's still interested.

Monkey's Human - sex only. Got it. And I love when you talk dirty. It totally makes me not want to shower for days and squish Monkey in my armpit.

Calzone - which one? The ex or the new one?

Higher - head on over to my kitchen, I've got something to show you....

JC - since when have you needed roofies to take advantage of me?

higher1. said...

I am not a sheep. The picture is of me fucking a sheep.

Thank you.

J to the fucking C said...

I don'tneed roofies. I just think it's more fun that way. But could you act like you don't know?

Brookelina said...

I never looked at that picture closely before. I'm so sorry I did now.

Who the fuck are you anyway?

Dante said...

Didn't you used to be a fry cook at BW3's?

I remember you!

Brookelina said...

JC - will do. Anything for the savior.

Gilly - I like that bring your own bucket with you.

Sysm said...

So do you want Squidward, or what? Jeez. You people treat me like I'm the layaway desk at Wal-Mart.

Dante said...

I'm not pooping.

darth said...

phew..i rolled over that swearing link half expecting to see my blog. but, its not all about me i guess.

Marel Lecone said...

I didn't read everyone's comments. But, I am kind of the side with Sandi's comment. From what you said, you know that he is a commitment phobe. Did you get hurt by him at all? If not, I guess you if you tell yourself that this isn't going anywhere . . . then, you're free to have a temporary thing with him. But, then, are you just enabling him to keep doing the same thing over and over? You are worth more than that. Definitely, seek out the other guy and find out if you stand in the vicinity of his feelings. I know it's hard to be on your own for everything. I had to seek out who I am with now. We had been together, seven years apart, then hunted him down. We got married . . . whatever. My point . . . when you get back with the person, are you going forward or backward? Like Sandi said. Take care, Girl. :)

Gorgs said...

I thought me and fucking crew swore more than anyone. We certainly talk about semen and drugs more than anyone.

I vote no on the ex thing. Not that it's any of my business and shit.

If I was in florida I would totally cuddle with you and shit. I would let you slap my big ass too, I know how you like that shit, yo.

Bill said...

1 - Potty mouth. Well I'm shocked. Just shit fucking shocked up the poop shoot because such language is cunty - no, not cunty, stinky titty cocky cunty. That's how bad it is.

2 - All fiction is true. But it's also fiction, so some things get changed because it makes for a better story. So my stories are all about me, and true in that sense, but they're also all bullshit in that sense. You know, like, "I got laid last night." Sorta of good. But doesn't it make a better story if you say, "I got laid by Kirsten Dunst last night. What a skank! She made me call her Boopsie!" Surely, that's a better story.

3 - Willpower can be purchased but only on the black market. I think most of it comes out of the Pacific Rim these days.

4 - I've often considered teaching but I can't make coherent sentences verbally. And sometimes I faint.

5 - Ex-boyfriend. I would vote no simply because your interest sounds like it comes out of boredom and perhaps horniness. And that tends to make for a disastrous morning after. It sounds less like "I want the guy" than "It's better than a kick in the head." The things you miss sound like they could be filled by a large overstuffed animal. If it's just about sex, find a stranger with a clean bill of health - fewer morning after complications. Otherwise, stick to the one you're interested in, despite the issues. More fun, excitement and potential heartache in that. Much more interesting! Better blog posts! (Notice how I wrote that as if I knew what I was talking about? I haven't a clue!!!!)

Cincysundevil said...

The Ex thing is tough .... I got back with my Ex and look what it got me!! If you do it, just do it for the physical interaction.

katarina said...

I think #5 is actually about me.
Don't do the ex thing. You'll regret it. It didn't work before, it's not going to work now. Go for something new and different. That's more exciting anyway.

Brookelina said...

Sysm - I do do!!! I'll find your email addy and contact you later. If you have lots my students will love them.

Gilly - you are too.

Darth - you are not a potty mouth!

Marel - I've pretty much decided to not contact the ex and see what he does next. He may just let the whole thing die. If he gets in touch with me again, I'll see how things play out. Thanks!

Slim - you are a constant source of comfort and support. You poon.

Bill - didn't you get the restraining order yet?

Cincy - have you priced out my ring yet? Is it do-able?

Brookelina said...

Kat - you snuck in there! New and exciting is always better, but the new one has shown a remarkable lack of interest as of late, and may have even moved on to someone else. I think it's time to give up on that idea. Looks like it's time to find a new new one.

agnus dei said...

What are you? A ovine threatening machine? Take it easy, or I might have to mess up your face a little. Probably with shit.

J to the fucking C said...

God I love that lamb!

FindingHeart said...

As for the teaching, it's about the paycheck, not the kids. ..shit, got that backwards again! Teachers today cannot be expected to be Miss Drivel who taught 43 years at the same school. Change is almost mandatory. Get out of the classroom for a year or two. If you still have the skills it sounds like you have, get the hell back in there! We have to have good teachers for kids!!

Oh, I was going to offer to be the 'next best thing', but since I'm also a dad and you warned us about you, ...nevermind. :) Peace!

Gnomey G said...

You could always try my tried and true method to see if the new guy is interested. Slyly have your best friend pass him a note that says:

Do you like me?
Circle One
Yes No

Fool-proof, I tell ya. Oh, and I'd leave the cussing out of that one.

JJ said...

I am always mindful that I need to be emotive and open with my daughters because a punch on the shoulder and a beer just ain't gonna cut it with them.

Getting back with an old lover rarely works so tread lightly. There was a reason you broke up, right?

Daphnewood said...

don't go back to the ex. You been down that road and if it had been a great road you would have bought a house there already. (I just want to give strange advice like all of your blogger buddies) Besides, if your ex starts calling you know it will take like two days tops before the phone rings and you look at the caller ID and say "oh. it just HIM again" boooooring!

brianna said...

as jj and daphne said (i'm sure others two but those are the only ones i have time to read)... he's an ex for a reason. don't do it, cap'n!

none - ya said...

Exes are exes for a reason. You need to find a new one. And if he fucks you over steal his wallet.

Übermilf said...

Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

miss kendra said...

1. your new potty mouth is beautiful. i want to smash mine up against it.

2. fiction is harder because you have to be outside your self- like someone up there (aboveme) said, all fiction is true. you just need to get to know the character well enough to know what he/she would do.

3. me too. and no. that goodfernuthin ebay.

4. questioning yourself probably helps you to saty focused and fresh. everyone who deals with children occasionally wants to break their little necks. on the other hand, everyone who works with people occasionally wants to drill pea sized holes in their skulls and poke them with pixie stix.

5. new stuff. i say go ahead and fuck the ex if you really need to get that out of the top five priorities, but only if there's no way it will hurt you. otherwise, holdout for something better.

a very wise person* once said, "anything less than extraordinary is a waste of time."

*it was me!!!!

Bill said...

I have another very bright, witty and informative comment I would like to make but I'm restraining myself.

Cactus Prick said...

If you get back with the ex, then I'll post our special video on the internet.

You think I'm kidding?

Egan said...

I loved your dad story no matter what.

Think Frustrated said...

shit fuck cum-bubble. I swear, too. I used to teach, and I, too wondered if it was for me, but I just felt bad wasting all that education. I got out of it, started doing corporate training (and actually making real money) and I am happier for it. Nipple-jizz (terets)

babyjewels said...

Brooke, I have little willpower for food or men, so I'd of course call him. And I'd probably ask him to pick me up a sub or something on the way over. That's me.

Brookelina said...

Lamb - pay no attention to that hacksaw in the corner.

JC - and you too.

FH - it's only my first year! I can't get out now, one thing I am not is a quitter.

GG - he likes cussing. Turns him on. He's kind of a freak.

JJ - I know I know. So I guess that means we won't be having any fall-back sex then huh.

Daph - he actually already has a gorgeous house. I used to try to scare him off when he came over by pointing to my enormous antique armoire and saying, "Where will that go in the house?" Oddly enough, that's not what broke us up.

Bri - thank you!! Another vote for no! And love your profile pic.

Brookelina said...

Mack - I so love the way you think.

Ubie - those cats were fast as lightning.

Miss K - it's official. You are my lesbian lover. Kiss me!

Bill - so says the restraining order.

Prick - yeah baby! Show it, but first let me get a little more comfortable.

Egan - thank you babe.

TF - you're married right? Stop telling me how perfect you are.

BabyJ - excellent. I'll call him if I crave a sub! And sex! Sub-Sex!

Übermilf said...

If you take a writing class they give you exercises to help get a fictional story started.

sonrisa morena said...

i say don't go back to the ex. you two left each other for a reason, right? what makes that reason any different this time?

J to the fucking C said...

You'd better leave my lamb alone!

Think Frustrated said...

I'm not perfect. I can just sympathize with you about the teaching thing. Wait...I am perfect. Tell Jesus (seen above me) that he's not the only one. Plus, I wear shoes, so I guess I got him beat.

Danny said...

First, thanks for the link. It makes me really happy, to know that you are a linker. Linkers are cool, they linkity link linkaroo.

Oh, and I think I love you, or your clock. Is that biological?

Brookelina said...

Ubie - I think I would rather just suck.

SM - the difference is that this time I just want to use him for sex.

JC - bite me. Love the new links on your site. Which one of the dipshits came up with them?

TF - at least JC is single. He's a total whore, but he's single!

Danny - I link someone for about a week. If no reciprication, they get dumped. It's all very scientific. And no biological clock ticking here. No worries.

Dave - well, you're hot. And I'm shamefully shallow.

Dave said...

I'm all about the mindless drivel off day-to-day activities and you like me, so what does that say about you?

Danny said...

So, what you are saying is that I need to link you real soon, or you'll move on...

Brookelina said...

Precisely. I'm impatient, shallow, and tremendously insecure. Get used to it.

Oh, and did you notice the mouseover on your link?

Danny said...

You my dear, are a genious. That's fucking cool.

I can do random generators for my subject line, but I can't figure that out.

Oh, and consider yourself linked darling.

MoDigli said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who questions the teaching profression and sometimes wants to throw students under busses. Seriously.

Also, I think it's fun to be a potty mouth! :)

jiggs said...

With respect to the ex and the new crush, why can't you do both? i mean hang out with the ex and do stuff with him, but let him know that you're actually interested in someone else and if that comes around you'll drop him like a ton of shit.

Also, the idea of murdering all your students is something that every teacher goes through.

GrandPooOfAwesome said...

I blew up at a kid today. It was long overdue. But, as I was saying "You'd better walk on pins and needles today," I came so close to saying "You'd better walk on fucking pins and needles today," that it scared me shitless.

It was one of those days that I had to leave my class alone for 5 minutes with no explaination to sit in the bathroom with the lights out breathing deeply.

I'm moving him to another room temporarily on Thursday. I'm not punishing him, I'm saving his life. Otherwise, I will kill the little motherfucker.

Brookelina said...

Danny - you just need to put an alt tag in your link. But I love it when you call me a genius - especially when you spell it wrong. That's hot.

MoMo - I'm brand new at this! I shouldn't be freaking out already! Then again, my principal told me that with this school on my resume, I can get a job anywhere in the country. Yes, it's that rough.

Jiggs - I love that idea, but I have a feeling I'm going to wind up with neither. Welcome to my fucked up world.

I love you Poo. We must be on each other's minds. I just posted on your blog. I may send one of mine out for the day tomorrow as well, he's killing me.

firefalluk said...

Dont settle for an ex, please. Almost always a big mistake.

Absolutely love the blog btw, & no you aren't wrong to want to consign your class to buswheeldom, periodically (it'd be more worrying if you didnt). Just dont do it :)

And diets .. ehh, as my wife says, the benefit of a diet is starting it. Small steps, sis, small steps.

sandra said...

1. Good for you! You can join me in my soon-to-be-formed "Not Quite Tourettes But Damn Close" support group.

2. Hey, even fiction has to be based -- on some level -- on yourself (even if only weird thoughts you've had). Which is why I think Stephen King might be rather frightening. And the father thing...kind of broke my heart. Mostly because I really understand where you're coming from with it.

3. Please tell me if you find a willpower vendor.

4. Not wrong. Very right, in fact. And makes it cooler that you go back every day and do not, in fact, throw them under a bus.

5. I've done that...and it was fun for about a week, after which I realized that he annoyed the living crap out of me. Which is not to say it didn't last a few more weeks.

Jill said...

I'm also going to say no on the ex. Not a good idea. And you don't sound excited about him. You sound bored. I say, new blood. But what do I know?