Friday, February 10, 2006

Love Danny

The following is a series of emails I received from fellow blogger Danny of Danny Don't Go. Young, handsome, and greatly desired by men and women alike, Danny is a white hot talent in the world of poetry.
Danny enjoys long walks on the beach, playing with his children, and spending quality time with Dora the Explorer. Be sure to check out his poetry blog.

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I'm super freaky
It's so fucking true
And in time you'll love me
And I'll love you

I have a dick
And hair in strange places
I'm not a prick
If I want to cover all the bases

One day soon
I'll write a book
And you will swoon
When you see the title is "I love Brooke"

I'm gay.

**Danny is not gay. No doubt disappointing to many.

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It's not all that long
But it's not short either
I'll show you my shlong
If you show me your beaver

I'm hard to resist
With my poems and whatnot
Don't ask if I really exist
You know that, and I'm hot

So teach me oh dear one
Show me the ways
We'll have so much fun
Throwing things at the gays

** Danny and I both have gay siblings and are friends to all people - be they gay, bi, or hetero. Do not send hate mail. If you do, we will post it on our blogs and encourage others to laugh and point.

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If you post this
Please beware
That I'll get pissed
And steal your underwear

Then you'll go comando
And shit will get breezy
I'll be Marlon Brando
If you'll join The Family

**I don't get this part, but I didn't want to seem like a square so I didn't ask him what it meant. I mean, I've seen The Godfather a hundred times, so I get the reference. But I'm not sure what it has to do with loving me while I have no panties on. It should also be noted that Danny spelled Marlon with an "i", but I couldn't handle having a typo like that on my blog.

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Thank you Danny! I will treasure your poems forever! Or at least until the next guy sends me some quality blogworthy stuff.

43 comments:

JillWrites said...

Guy, right? Like, you're not going to post the insane IM's I am sending you right now? Right?

By the way, Danny, you rock. I will check out his blog momentarily.

Anonymous said...

love the commentary.

and as for the brando reference....I have no clue, it ryhmed with commando.

I love you brooke.

Scarlet Hip said...

Jill - I would never do that..without your consent. Danny knew I was doing this. He didn't know about the commentary though....

Danny - I'm so glad you liked the commentary. I knew it wouldn't offend you...I've seen some of your work. Offending you is pretty much impossible. I love you too!

flounder said...

You could have been...

fighting the Empire with Lando.

or

Looking marvelous with Fernando

or

like Jack Lord said, "Book 'em Dano"

JillWrites said...

I didn't think you would. But you've left me alone with Egan, and I had to be passive aggressive or something.

Bill said...

Ya wanna see me rhyme?
Toots I got no time
'Sides I'm too damn clever
to catch the rhymin' fever
and not be gettin' paid
and not be gettin' laid
and there's no poetry
as poetic as a tree
(at least, that's what I've heard)

You can tell that's real poetry because except for a question mark I've ignored the bourgeois convention of punctuation. I'm going to go and get a beret now.

Scarlet Hip said...

Flounder - who knew you had such a gift for poetry?

Jill - is he bothering you? Cause I'll kick his ass if so.

Bill - your poem sucks.

egan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
egan said...

Jill, I really don't bite.

Bill - are you on a rampage or something?

flounder said...

Ther once was a man from Nantucket...

Bill said...

I heard some of those rap guys made good money so I thought I'd give it a go. I can't dance but I figured I could hire someone.

Chip Jones said...

Shit. Does this mean I'm out of the running?

Anonymous said...

Nice cop outta blogging on a Friday.

dizzy von damn! said...

who is that apostle chip?

he's got a lovely pompadour.

exchanging emails with danny, are you?

what about me, brooke? what about me?

ChickyBabe said...

Danny is cute! That's all I'm going to day...

jiggs said...

It's cute that you guys exchange emails.

Scarlet Hip said...

Egan - no shit.

Flounder - take it away!

Bill - keep your day job. Do you have a job?

Chip - with that hair you'll never be out of the running babe.

TRM - you're just jealous that I am getting dirty poetry from young studs.

Miss K - Chip is a mystery. He and his giant hair stalk me now. He seems harmless. What about you? Where have you been?? Where where where?

Chicky - he is. I'm also old enough to be his teenage unwed mom.

Jiggs - I tried with you but you rejected my advances. I'm still reeling from the scorn.

Ubermilf said...

Danny makes me want to be a beatnik.

I'm gay for Danny.

Wait, that doesn't quite work; I'm Mrs. Robinson for Danny. Coo coo kachoo.

Fella said...

Doesn't that make you The Walrus?

Ubermilf said...

Your face is the walrus.

yournamehere said...

When I emailed Brooke she emailed back a terse, five-word reply, so I kind of got the hint.

Anonymous said...

There once was a man from Nantucket...

Actually, how about this one?

There once was a curate at Kings
Whose mind was on heavenly things
But his heart was on fire
For a boy in the choir
Whose arse was like jelly on springs

I thank you!

jiggs said...

Jiggs is in the air.

If I rejected your advances I apologize. Whatever that was done, was not done intentionally.

Sysm said...

This one needs a bigger read:

Bruce walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says...

"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His girlfriend who is lying in bed replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

Bruce says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you.

From Captain Beefheart (by way of Taoski)

Scarlet Hip said...

Ubie - get your own younger man! This one is taken.

Nick - you are treading on dangerous ground there...

Ubie - thank you for making my point...

Todd - that is a big fat lie!

Bob - that is disgusting!!! Do another one.

Jiggs - it wasn't. I just like being a drama queen sometimes. I love Jiggs...yay!

Sysm - that is bad!!! Do another one.

yournamehere said...

Yes, it is a big fat lie. I meant to follow my comment with a disclaimer marking said comment as a big fat lie, but someone distracted me with a shiny object. Sorry.

In fact, Brooke often emails nude pictures of herself and marriage proposals to me.

yournamehere said...

That was a big fat lie.

Anonymous said...

A policeman from up Clapham Junction
Had a weapon that just wouldn't function.
Throughout all his life
He kept fooling his wife
With some snot on the end of his truncheon

Anonymous said...

One more for the road.....

There was a young Rabii named Keith
Who circumcised men with his teeth
Not for the leisure
Or sexual pleasure
But to get to the cheese underneath!

Boom, boom! I thank you.

Scarlet Hip said...

Todd - that's it! You said you would never tell! The wedding is off and I am not sending you the picture of me on the bearskin rug! Ummm...and yeah...you lied!

Bob - I know it's wrong...but I can't stop giggling. So wrong...wrong wrong wrong...

Anonymous said...

Yes, I'm jealous... I'm jealous that you get so many posts from young studs... and Todd too.

b o o said...

talent, humor, good looks & (i bet) a hot bod. i want!

babyjewels said...

I thought I replied yesterday
To this post -
While eating green eggs and ham twat
on Rye Toast.

(only five points on weight watchers, but buckets and buckets of shame)

East Coast Teacher said...

When are you coming home Brooke?

You're missing all the pretty white stuff flying around.

All 10+ inches of it - and it ain't over yet.

Ah, summer, how I miss you.

Anonymous said...

Do you really have a gay sibling? Because statistically, that means you have a 60% chance of being gay yourself. Is that why you won't sleep with me? Are you a lesbian? Because if you are, it really doesn't matter to me. I don't discriminate.

Scarlet Hip said...

TRM - I'm sure you meant that Todd is a mature stud.

Lemon - don't leave us.

Boo - get in line!

BabyJ - awesome. Now I can say you ate me.

Girlie - I'm jealous! I'd love to be snowed in ...with a boy of course. Fireplace...Grand Marnier...ooooh...I'm getting all warm and fuzzy...

Neil - I do have a gay sibling. And I think you just made that statistic up. And I prefer the term "recreational lesbian" - thank you very much. However, this has nothing to do with why I won't sleep with you. Nine Inch Nails babe, remember?

Anonymous said...

Bob brought a lump to my throat. I'm not quite sure what was in said lump. Maybe cheese.

And Danny is so deep.
And so hot.

katarina said...

That was strange. It didn't sign me in properly.

kris said...

KEEPER.

and so nice to look at.

Tumbleweed said...

I told him he should write a book! He better title it "I love Brooke and Megan too!"

Anonymous said...

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Most poems rhyme
But this one don't

Love,
Squid

Michelle Souliere said...

Good heavens. That's some romeo.

Romeo, oh Romeo,
Wherefor blog art Romeo
With a couplet there
and an awkward rhyme there...

Ee I EE i Oh?

Sizzle said...

you fixed his typo. i love that. ;)