Word Cloud

Make your own word cloud. Thanks once again to SG!

*The tiny words you can't see are (in alphabetical order): beach, bed, boyfriend, complete (?), computer, fun, funny, hate, missed, modigli, neil, pants, pet, profile, shit, shy, travel, viggo, and wrong. I can't believe twat wasn't on there!

Re: February 14, 2006

It All Makes Sense Now

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You Are Too Shy

When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catch. Problem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know. From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up. And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide.

And here I thought it was because I am a huge pain in the ass.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

Love Danny

The following is a series of emails I received from fellow blogger Danny of Danny Don't Go. Young, handsome, and greatly desired by men and women alike, Danny is a white hot talent in the world of poetry.
Danny enjoys long walks on the beach, playing with his children, and spending quality time with Dora the Explorer. Be sure to check out his poetry blog.

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I'm super freaky
It's so fucking true
And in time you'll love me
And I'll love you

I have a dick
And hair in strange places
I'm not a prick
If I want to cover all the bases

One day soon
I'll write a book
And you will swoon
When you see the title is "I love Brooke"

I'm gay.

**Danny is not gay. No doubt disappointing to many.

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It's not all that long
But it's not short either
I'll show you my shlong
If you show me your beaver

I'm hard to resist
With my poems and whatnot
Don't ask if I really exist
You know that, and I'm hot

So teach me oh dear one
Show me the ways
We'll have so much fun
Throwing things at the gays

** Danny and I both have gay siblings and are friends to all people - be they gay, bi, or hetero. Do not send hate mail. If you do, we will post it on our blogs and encourage others to laugh and point.

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If you post this
Please beware
That I'll get pissed
And steal your underwear

Then you'll go comando
And shit will get breezy
I'll be Marlon Brando
If you'll join The Family

**I don't get this part, but I didn't want to seem like a square so I didn't ask him what it meant. I mean, I've seen The Godfather a hundred times, so I get the reference. But I'm not sure what it has to do with loving me while I have no panties on. It should also be noted that Danny spelled Marlon with an "i", but I couldn't handle having a typo like that on my blog.

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Thank you Danny! I will treasure your poems forever! Or at least until the next guy sends me some quality blogworthy stuff.

I can see you....

A little voice inside my head said,
"Don't look back. You can never look back."
I thought I knew what love was
What did I know?
Those days are gone forever
I should just let them go but......

Sofa King Tired

Last night, between the hours of 1:00-2:00 am, two beer-swilling-belly-scratching-fuck-witted yabos in their little redneck putt-putt shitboat were trolling up and down the canal outside my window. Their mission - to scream unintelligible nonsense and blast Seals and Crofts at ear-piercing decibels. Yes, Seals and Crofts. Who the fuck listens to that shit anymore? And where was my Marine Policeman when I really needed him?

See, this is why I am for gun control. If I had had a gun, as is my right as an American citizen, those dipshits would be at the bottom of the canal right now, and I'd be desperately trying to avoid relations with Sweaty Betty in the Broward County Jail. Better to be tired and cranky and taking it out on our future generation.

It's only 7:30 and I need a nap. It's going to be a long day - and I'm already late for work.

I'm Driving in My Car

A typical drive home for me - complete with thoughts (black), ranting (red), and singing (blue). No need to worry for my safety, windows stay closed so nobody can hear my horrendous singing or my ferocious potty mouth. If you are offended by bad words, then please move on. Thank you.

it's only monday and you're already fried.....little fuckers can't be good for just one day...what the fuck...frigging parents should be neutered...stop bitching...you're going to miss them like crazy when you move...shut up..don't think about that now...oh very nice...drive much bitch...love the way you used that turn signal...no no no...i didn't need to know you were turning...i'm psychic...stupid twat.......oooooh...good song.... i hate everything about you...why do i love you....you hate everything about me....why do you love me....... check the cell phone...see if he called...dumbass..he didn't call..he's not going to call...get over it...move on already...fuck....just check it already while you're at the light....what is that smell...asshole in the next car blowing his cigarettes smoke right in the car...nice....fuck i want one of those...i wonder if i smile.....oops...green light...move along dipshit.....ooooooooooh...look at that antique shop...i have to got to stop there one of these days.....jesus christ could this fuckhead go any fucking slower......accelerator is on the right asshole.....there ya go....good...it's ok to go over 25 in a 40 zone...really...it is....asswipe...when it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love ...you'll understand what I mean when I say there's no way we're gonna give up...and like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams....is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe....why am i so hungry...what did i have for lunch....soup...god i want some greasy fries...no ..bad...fries are bad and go right to your ass.... oh my god....fucktard just made a left turn from the right lane...where the fuck do these assholes learn to drive...oh i'm so sorry...you were busy on the phone and smoking a cigarette while you were driving...next time why don't you jerk your boyfriend off while you're at it...dumb fucking twat...i hate these florida drivers....how much longer before i move home....don't think about it...then you start thinking about packing and that is almost as bad as the idea of staying....packing blows...wonder how much it would cost to get them to pack for me... for god's sake doesn't anybody actually stop at a fucking stop sign...yes dickless...it's my right of way...i hate this damn street...almost there....so close...and here we go...another Q-tip in front of me...oh my god if you were going any slower you'd be going backwards...that antique in his wheelchair just passed us....ok....too many commercials...switch...uggghhh...Mariah Carey...the world's ugliest female impersonator...when are people going to realize she has a penis...oh....much better...and when we meet...which i'm sure we will ....all that was there..will be there still ....i'll let it pass ...and hold my tongue ...and you will think....that I've moved on ...ohhhh...is that a white truck coming towards me...no way...yep...it's him...the cop...yeah yeah...i'm smiling..i'm waving...i hear you beeping... hi!....could have at least tried to track me down .. jerk ...i can't wait to get in the tub... and i need to write a new blog post.....pizza....pizza sounds good....and a nap....that sounds good too....oooh...it's monday...24 is on...yay...

Oh I almost forgot....Calzone has no penis...pass it on...

Thanks Lushy

Your 2005 Song Is

Mr. Brightside by The Killers "It started out with a kiss How did it end up like this It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss" Let's just say you're happy to be done with 2005!

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

Unconscious Mutterings and Big Asses

I got this from Spinning Girl, and she in turn got it from its creator, Luna. *Play along. Just put the first thing that comes to mind. You can do it in the comments section or on your own blog. Have fun. Don't say I never gave you anthing. And go wash your hands please. Lord knows where they've been.
*This is not a meme.

1. Long distance::
2. Meant to be::
3. Here::
4. Endless::
5. Resentment::
6. Insipid::
7. Bunny::
8. Slogan::
9. Naked::
10. Sarcasm::

Don't
Look
At
Mine
Until
You
Think
Of
Your
Own
Answers

Now
You
Can
Look

1. Long distance:: romance
2. Meant to be:: not this time
3. Here:: today, gone tomorrow
4. Endless:: bullshit
5. Resentment:: screw you
6. Insipid:: love songs
7. Bunny:: fuck like a ..
8. Slogan:: more bang for your buck
9. Naked:: Sedaris
10. Sarcasm:: wasted on seven year olds

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I would like to thank Natalie Dee for once again creating the perfect drawing for me to share with my fellow bloggers. This one is for some of you in particular. I will not name names. They know who they are.

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