Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Tuesday Ten #4

Ten Movie Heroes I Would Have Sex With

  1. Aragorn of Lord of the Rings - So what if he's dirty and hasn't bathed in months. And who cares if he's 88 in Middle Earth years. He's a king dammit. And a smokin' hot one at that.

  2. Maximus Decimus Meridius of Gladiator - Tortured, wounded, a true lost puppy. Plus he's got that whole leader of his men thing going on, and he looks good in a skirt.

  3. King Leonidas of 300 - Hello abs of steel! Who could resist having sex with the original Chippendale?

  4. Han Solo of Star Wars - My very first bad boy crush. While all the other little girls were swooning over the wet-behind-the-ears Luke Skywalker, Han Solo was the one who truly saved my day.

  5. James Bond of Casino Royale - No other Bond will do. The previous Bonds may be handsome and debonair, but I'll take the buff brute who comes out of the water looking sexier than Ursula Andress in Dr. No.

  6. Captain Jack Sparrow of Pirates of the Caribbean- He makes Aragorn look freshly scrubbed and Richard Simmons seem masculine, but there is something about Jack Sparrow that makes you want to do bootyful things to him.

  7. Bruce Wayne/Batman of Batman Begins - Yet another tortured soul, and a billionaire to boot. And he's got that rough gravelly voice. Of course he'd have to wear the suit - and bring the gadgets.

  8. Hicks of Aliens/Reese of The Terminator- both characters were played by the same actor in James Cameron action movies - so essentially they are the same person. Both are soldiers. Both risk their lives for the girl while at the same time stepping back to let the girl kick some ass along with him. What's not to love?

  9. Tyler Durden of Fight Club - Fine, he's a sociopathic freak. But he's a hero to other sociopathic freaks, so he counts. And everyone should get a little freaky at least once. Besides, he is ripped to shreds.

  10. Neo of The Matrix - Just. Don't. Talk.

27 comments:

Hypersonic said...

Being a heterosexual kinda guy, I wouldn't do any of these (maybe if Danny Ocean had been there...), but seriously?..NEO!!!!???? Oh deary, deary me.

yournamehere said...

Tyler Durden was a figment of Edward Norton's imagination.

All Mod Cons said...

If I was gay, which I'm not, I'd agree with Tyler Durden. Might be inclined to add One Punch Mickey from Snatch too...

Sizzle said...

I was going along just fine with you there until the end. I am SO glad you said he can't talk. We can remain friends now. ;)

thephoenixnyc said...

I am shocked to see Michael Moore left of this list.

egan said...

Christian Bale or George Clooney?

Scarlet Hip said...

Hyper - well then come up with your own list!

Todd - what's your point.

AMC - and that character was even better because you couldn't understand a word he said.

Sizz - but he is adorable, you have to admit.

Phoenix - wow, you don't know me at all, do you.

Egan - that is an excellent question. I think I'm going to have arrange meetings with both and then get back to you.

Nance said...

I would definitely be up for any of the Batmen except Val Kilmer. Ick. No Bond men, sorry. Jack Sparrow, definitely and often. Hans Solo/Harrison Ford...someday I'll blog about my recurring HF dreams. My overarching prejudice about the sophomoric worship of the movie Fight Club forbids me to want Tyler Durden no matter whether he is BP or not. I teach high schoolers; what can I say?

Übermilf said...

Han Solo!

miss kendra said...

this is a fairly comprehensive list.

Hypersonic said...

You're on, expect a post soon.

Sysm said...

Just typing the names "Buzz Lightyear" and "Woody" makes me feel a little funny inside.

jamwall said...

Edward Norton having sex with Tyler Durden wouldn't be too different from what I'm doing at this very moment.

Princess of the Universe said...

I am so with you on almost all of them.
Neo especially- he's fab, but do NOT talk.

Bill said...

You can have Neo only if I can have Trinity. Mmmm ... leather.

Think Frustrated said...

Where's all the skinny smart guys. These are all action heroes. What about anti-heroes? This list is a little biased.

I guess my list would be all busty tough chicks, though...

Justin said...

Um. Only Han Solo is pre-late 90s. This is a list my sister would write. Don't you like some classic sexy folk?

Scarlet Hip said...

Nance - see, it's good that we don't agree on all the men. Less infighting.

Ubie - he's the man!

Miss Kendra - well thank you.

Hyper - I'll be by shortly to check on things.

Sysm - seeing you type them makes me feel funny inside.

Jamwall - I'm not sure what you mean. Could you describe what you're doing? In detail? Wait, let me get comfortable...

Scarlet Hip said...

Princess - poor Neo. Nobody wants to hear his words of wis...what he has to say.

Bill - kinky bastard.

Jacob - skinny smart guys? What are they?

Justin - always the critic.

egan said...

Oh yeah, didn't Val Kilmer play Batman too. That could make it even tougher although Val doesn't look as hot these days.

sleepydog said...

Damn, I never make the top ten.

CP said...

Tyler Friggin' Durden.

Hot. Oh my God...hot on so many different levels!

*fans self*

CP

Scarlet Hip said...

Egan - Clooney is gorgeous, but he was a painful Batman. Kilmer is painful all the time.

Sleepy - did I miss your movie?

CP - right there with ya.

Tits McGee said...

I was with you 100% until you got to #10.

I can't go for that. No can do.

roonie said...

I'll help you tag team #1 and #2.

Spinning Girl said...

If we're talking Matrix, don't forget Trinity.

Oh, and Wind In His Hair from Dances With Wolves

Valley Girl said...

Ditto to Jack Sparrow, or Johnny Depp in any other form.

Love your blog!