Friday, June 09, 2006

Wookin Pa Nub

Recent search terms to find their way here - always entertaining. Now in color-coded categories!

Seaching for Brooke but probably not this Brooke:

- I guess these guys are just looking for any Brooke around. How disappointed they must be when they wind up here.
brooke burke's boyfriend - yeah, cause you have a shot.
break it again brooke - sure, blame me.
blind date brooke - I wish I hadn't done it.
brooke april - porn star. Not me. Obviously.

Random Searches
money stolen from LoLo
- I didn't do it.
stealing candy from 7-11 - I didn't do this either. Not from 7-11 anyway.
read fractured fairy tales online by a 9 year old - huh?
good words to express frustration in a letter - go with "fuck", it always works for me.
salome is a farthead - awesome. Even better was google's did you mean? response - "salome is a fathead", which is obviously much clearer.
50 random questions - I wonder if they actually used the ones I had.

Sex and Flashing
accidental flash - #1 in the USA, the UK, and now - the Netherlands!
flashed my boob - geez, it wasn't on purpose.
flashing boobs on boats - cause it's always better on a boat.
"sexual fling" "on vacation" - shut up. Everyone does it.
why do i get goosebumps when i am really hot - I don't know if this was a sexual question or not, but it sure sounded dirty to me.
bedside romps - this sounds like a Doris Day/Rock Hudson movie. (google's did you mean? - bedside lamps)
sadists love masochists - well now to me, this makes perfect sense.

Viggo, tattoos, and monkeys
viggo mortensen poetry cleveland
- no Melanie, Viggo is not coming to Cleveland to see you. Get over it.
schiffmacher hells angels - I'm telling you, I should be getting commissions on this one, Henk.
the ultimate tattoo - is on my ass baby!
monkey and pants - it just doesn't get much better than this one.
"ultimate tattoo" monkey lips - oh, I spoke too soon.

And now my favorite - all time - no doubt about it - may have to change the name of this blog search term is-

Tattoos bitches and bikes

yeah baby!


Blonde Vigilante said...

I love the google searches. On my old blog I always got image searches for "blonde lady eating cake". I still get that a lot on my old blog, I'm talking 10 hits a day from that image search. (I'm thinking it's something sexual, that people in the east do...cause it's mostly Europeans and weirdly enough Israeli's.) Hence the name of my new blog. I also used to get "big bums to the screen." Now, if I actually had posted a picture of my "bum," they surely would have found what they were looking for.

"Tatoos, bitches and bikes." Would be a good name for a bar or a bike shop or a tatoo shop...or you could do the trifecta. I'd show up for the grand opening.

jackt said...

That last set is HILARIOUS!

Nick said...

I found your blog one time by searching for Bedside Lamp, so I think either way is fine.

Übermilf said...

Nick, may I suggest you keep your bedroom as dark as possible, so as to increase your chances with the ladies?

You're welcome!

JJ said...

Tattoos, Bitches, and Bikes is this year's Gay Pride Parade theme, isn't it?

JJ said...

Oh, and let's not forget the guy who keeps hitting my site on "Pitchers of naked girls."

Brookelina said...

Blonde - I remember when you first started using that picture and everyone thought it was you. Which means your picture is all over Europe now. And Israel.

Jackt - monkey lips? Who searches for monkey lips?

Nick - but wouldn't a romp be more fun?

Ubie - oh snap!

JJ - how is it that you know this year's them? Hmmm? As for pitchers of naked girls - that is classic! Illiteracy in America rules!

babyjewels said...

tattoo bitches and bikes, indeed!

thephoenixnyc said...

All I ever get is "skinny legs"

Damn fetishists.

jungle jane said...

I see no mention of trannies, sex slaves or baked bean baths. so i guess it's just me then?

Janet said...

Search engines are always available for a good laugh!

I don't have much to say except I'm still reading.

Dana said...

"Monkey and pants" could have been mine. I often search for the word monkey in combination with another word. You know, just to see what kind of hits I'll get.

mernitman said...

Monkey and Pants are doing a late show at the Viper Room this weekend.

ChickyBabe said...

I would say YOUR people are the same as MY people. Love 'em!

Spinning Girl said...

Ha! I love this. And big ups on the wookin pa nub reference.

Brookelina said...

BabyJ - I miss you baby!

Phoenix - you need to write more about sex. I'm just sayin...

Jane - just you, especially the sex slave part.

Janet - I feel like I learn a little about people everytime I see the searches. It's like an anthropology class everyday.

Lynn - so that's how you found my blog!

Billy - pick me up at eight.

Chicky - makes sense, from one Chicky Babe to another.

SG - is there a better song? I think not.

Buffy said...

I think the monkey and pants one takes the cake.

Girl With An Alibi said...

""sexual fling" "on vacation" - shut up. Everyone does it."

Hey I married mine, so I say nothing wrong wit dat sista!

Melliferous Pants said...

Who doesn't like monkeys and pants?

Personally, I come here for the tattoos bitches and bikes.

GrandPooOfAwesome said...

Wow, those are cool. Mine are not nearly as cool, though I do often get "naked grils". Also, someone is always, like seriously very often, searching for Why they don't just put the three "w's" and stick it in the url is beyond me. Apparently, most of my lurkers are retards.

sleepydog said...

Great idea, because who doesn't like Tattoos, Bikes and Bitches ? (Though not necessarily in that order)
I'm changing the name of mine to Fluffy Bunnies, Ice Cream and Puppy dogs because apparently Coke Dick Motorcyle Awesome is taken.