Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Stupid Girl

OK then. I got a few emails about some of the things I said in my last post from people who actually read the answers. Actually one of the things I said. About a man. You read that right, a man. Yes, there was a man that I have not mentioned here on my blog. Actually I did mention him here, but I didn't tell anyone that I did get back with him again. When things started unraveling and I realized that he hadn't changed, I mentioned it here, but nobody asked me for details and I didn't offer any up. There is a perfectly good reason for this. If any of my real friends knew I had given him another chance, they'd have beaten me with hammers (and real hammers too, not those little plastic ones that make those cute squeaky noises.) In fact, I never mentioned it to a single soul, which shows how much confidence I had in the relationship working out.

To be fair, I didn't expect us to live happily ever after. I knew he was a commitment-phobe from when I went out with him before, but we always had a certain rapport. It was nice to be able to fall back into something comfortable and familiar when I was going through so much stress in my life - mom in hospital, work pressures, trying to work out the next move in my life, blah blah blah. I know, it's crap. I have nobody to blame but myself because I am a gullible and stupid girl who forgives and forgets far too easily. And rather than write another 10 paragraphs about what happened between us, I thought I'd write a little ditty about it instead. So may I present - my first song -

Stupid Girl
lyrics: The Babbling Brooke
music: The Ballad of Jed Clampett
(aka The Beverly Hillbillies theme song)

Come and listen to a story about a girl we know,
Sweet little thing just lookin' for a beau,
That's when she lent a hand to fate,
And she packed up and moved to the Sunshine state.

Florida that is. More boys. Lots of 'em.

Well the first thing you know she’s met a millionaire,
All their friends said, “You're the perfect pair!”
But then one day she discovers she’s a fool,
Cause the man that she's been falling for's a two timin' tool.

Cheater that is. Pond scum. Lyin' snake.

Well not long ago he asked for another chance,
He promised her lots of fun and romance,
Two months into their second little whirl,
Turns out he's cheating with that very same girl.

Same girl that is. From before. Yes it's true.


Well, now it's time to leave behind his psychopathic ways,
And I am here to tell you that I'll learn one of these days,
You're all invited back again to laugh at my expense,
And share a heaping helping of your awesome common sense.

Stupid that is. Stupid girl. That is me.

Y’all come back now, y’hear?


The real me said...

Nothing stupid about it, honey... as long as it was good for you (wink, wink, jab in the side) if ya know what I mean!

miss kendra said...

we're all a little stupid sometimes.

it's ok, i still love you.

solethoughts said...

That was pretty good. Copyright it quick. We all do stupid things. Just don't keep repeating them.

the Caitlinator said...

Great song lyrics. Good that you can find your sense of humor in the quagmire of crap we sometimes find ourselves in.

babyjewels said...

how bout I just beat him with a hammer.

sleepydog said...

You HAVE learned much grasshopper ..Now you're writing your very own songs !!!

I am so inspired that I am starting a religious cult in your name.

PS: The guy sounds like a dick. Want me to have him whacked?*

By whacked I don't mean killed or maimed (Unfortunately) but I could send a semi-ferocious beagle to piss on his leg.

Neil said...

A millionaire? Did you at least get to eat out at some nice places?

And I would never consider you stupid.

jiggs said...

you deserve better. but sex ain't so bad sometimes either.

❉ pixie ❉ said...

I love the song, I totally sang along to the tune.

Thérèse said...

Oooooh Brooke. That really really really sucks. I love your lyrical interpretation though.

Miss Kendra's right. We're all stupid sometimes and we all do things we know we shouldn't from time to time. Keeps us humble.

I also think BabyJewels has the right idea. That rat bastard deserves real hammers to the head. Both of them.

Brookelina said...

TRM - wink wink nudge nudge, nyuk nyuk nyuk.

Kendra - stupid is as stupid does. Still love you too babe.

PEZ - not repeating them...so that's what I'm doing wrong...

Cait - I love that you used the word quagmire. That word is not used nearly enough.

BabyJ - oh how I've missed you.

Sleepy - excellent, I love being worshipped. Besides my songwriting abilities, I also have large breasts. That oughtta bring in the masses.

Neil - actually I didn't know he was rich until we had been seeing each other for a while. He was very low-key.

Jiggs - I deserve better in that department too. Oh snap!!

Pixie - excellent. I should have titled this, "Sing Along With Stupid Girl."

Therese - I could use a little less humble, thank you very much. Bring on the hammers!

jungle jane said...

I suppose it would be crass of me to remind you of the great sex you were having? yes. crass. i won't do it.

Melanie was here said...

boys are stupid.

Brookelina said...

Jane - thank you.

Mel - soooooo stupid. The stupidest!

Melliferous Pants said...

I would NEVER laugh at your expense! However, I would buy you many drinks, pretend to not notice when you sneak drags off my cigarette and listen to tell me just how dumb he is. I'm great at that.

ChickyBabe said...

We all make mistakes and learn from the experience, Brooke.

Well done with the song!

sandra said...

First of all, I bet his song would not have been nearly as good. Second, I think you giving him another shot shows that you try to think the best of people -- which, while not always accurate, is definitely a good thing. And finally, I think you should have your friends take the hammers they'd want to hit you with and shove them...yeah.

Bill said...

"... I am a gullible and stupid girl who forgives and forgets far too easily."

Better to forgive and forget easily than not - all that anger and angst is bad for the skin (not to mention the sleep deprivation as you fume). As for gullible and stupid ... well, take a number. I think it's part of the price of admission.

I learned long ago I was stupid and gullible. Despite the down side, it does make for a better show.

Anyway ... forgive and forget is not a bad thing, even if it bites you on the ass sometimes. Life, I believe, is shit any other way. Though it would be nice if we were smarter. :-)

ducklet said...

i can relate to the part about wanting to fall back onto something familiar and comfortable. but for me, it's bourbon and porn. you should switch to bourbon and porn, you stupid girl.

Mone said...

Nothing stupid at all!! I did the same thing with my Ex - and it didnt work out! Now I have a saying real big pasted on the cupboard, rigth over the coffeemaker, so I wont forget. It goes like that:

We are learning out of experience, that we are learning nothing out of experience.

(I hope this translation makes sence)

Janet said...

And yet the song that popped into my head after you post was Selena's "I Could Fall in Love."

We know its not right, but unfortunately, opporsites attract, and well, I have loved a drunken pond-scum from a distance as long as I can remember.

And here comes Anna Nalick. I'd better stop here.

ing said...

Oh, babycakes. Give me his address. I'll kick his fuckin ass, I will.

Now. It's super normal and human to want what you wanted. Know that this is true and that in the back of your mind (I'm assuming) you understood that you wanted what you wanted and this dude was the closest facsimile, which, he wasn't even close, and you knew it. But he was the closest.

Still, though, I will kick his ass if you like. It'll be my pleasure.

[Condom: always, always use!]

Flounder said...

Now I want to beat you with a hammer.

Not a real one, just one of those little plastic ones that make those cute squeaky noises.

The Moviequill said...

the Stones have a song called Stupid Girl

Miss Syl said...

As far as I can tell, the only stupid one in the story is him.

The only instinct you walked in with was the desire to be loved and cared for. I can't see that impulse as stupid. I see it as human.

He cheated. He hurt a nice person. He lost a chance--TWICE--with an incredibly cool woman who probably would have been a vast improvement to his sorry ass life. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Him.

I ask you: Why is it we punish ourselves for the bad deeds others perpetrate on us? It's all too common in myself and many women I know (and some men, too).

And I'd like to expand on ducky's idea and suggest you throw a bouron and porn party, which we can all attend. No cameras allowed.

sleepydog said...

Brooke, that's great news, a wise man once said "Large breasts are the opiate of the masses, cha-ching !"

Or something like that.

Anyways, keep writing songs, maybe I can help you put them to music and you can release a CD called "Brooke's Greatest Hits" No, it wouldn't ba arrogant to call your first and only CD "Greatest Hits" remember, you are a goddess after all.

firefall said...

like syl says - the stupid one is him, twice (that probably qualifies as moronic really).

It's never stupid to take a chance ... just wish you'd found someone who deserves your awesomeness

Lo Lo Lova said...

It's easy to fall back into something familiar. No need to blame yourself for that. Sometimes we just need it. I had an ex that I kept getting back together with. First time we dated for almost 3 years. Then almost 1 year. Then almost 3 months. Then 1 date. We tried to make it work but it didn't. Remember: "just because you put spoiled milk back in the refridgerator, doesn't mean it's not spoiled anymore."

Just don't do it again.

BTW, Awesome song. Very clever. Or is it cleaver? No, you're clever. He needs to be beaten with a cleaver. That's right.

JJ said...

Sorry, Babe.

Übermilf said...

Did I miss the chance to hit someone with a hammer? Damn it!

Margaret said...

When I go back to someone like that, I call myself persistent. My friends may say stupid, but I like persistent better.

Sysm said...


Hammer time.

Can't believe no one else did that in 30 comments.

Anita said...

I'm pretty sure that song was about me in my late teens/early twenties. I once had a boyfriend that cheated on me with a homeless girl. Yep. No lie. Homeless girl. As in, begs for spare change on the street. (Insert "Wanna go back to my place"-type pick-up line joke here.)

My friends still won't let me live it down. I was very lucky not to have gotten an STD from the skanky fucker.

Blonde Vigilante said...

If you're stupid...then I ride the short bus. Everybody, and by everybody I mean me, does stuff in the name of love. Oh well, life goes on...one cake at a time. Ain't that the truth!

I have the giant thighs to prove it!

Spinning Girl said...

Who knows what draws us to such creatures.

Spirit Of Owl said...

Sysm has something here. Your next song should be to the tune of Can't Touch This.

jiggs said...

the sex wasn't good either? that stinks. What's the point of a relationship like that if the sex isn't good?

jiggs said...

I should also add that I'm quite shallow.

kidcola61 said...

at least you didn't end up with two babies alone in a trailershack...
some girls are stupider...

matty said...

There is NOTHING stupid about you! Nothing.

Love, comfort and need don't always make for logic. But, I think we are all the better for tossing logic to the curb in favor of love, comfort and our needs. Life is short --- try to enjoy it the best you can.

I think some love relationships are not meant for "life" --- but for the moments of pleasure that they bring. In the end, I suspect those moments mean more than years.

No, you are not stupid. You reached for something that might not have been entirely in reach --- but that is life. You have to try and stretch sometimes.

big hug from gaytown usa

MoDigli said...

You are one talented lady, Brooke! I LOVE this song, and I LOVE that you can laugh about this craptastic situation.

I'm just glad it's all in the past. You deserve one oil-gushing spurt of an awesome man to come into your life.

im here somewhere said...

the guy i was dating..(ok, having many one-night stands with ) now prefers my gay best friend....

im right there with you sister


ing said...

Where are all the good ones, anyway? Let me know, and I'll meet you there.

Tumbleweed said...

Please, you are not stupid....just hopeful that men can change. It ain't happenin...sorry you had to learn the hard way. I am the same way in the fact that I can't hold a grudge and I forgive way to easily. We get hurt easily....but I would never change who I am. The right man WILL come along....when you stop looking. *HUGS*

Sizzle said...

i have been there too. not stupid! just hadn't learned that lesson yet.