Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I'll Be on the Couch

Don't cook.
Don't clean.
No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum.
"My God, the floor's immaculate! Lie down, you hot bitch."
~Joan Rivers




26 comments:

mernitman said...

True, but on the other hand, immaculate floor + hot bitch = great fun for a summer afternoon.

Think Frustrated said...

Also, if she waxed the floor, you could, theoreticaly, "wax that ass," by making sex on the freshly cleaned floor. Only, if she's a clean freak, then she'll be pissed if there's any fluid spillage on her freshly cleaned floor, so wrap it up!

Anita said...

If a man ever ordered me to lie down before sex he would get laughed at. If you really want it, PUSH ME DOWN AND TAKE ME YOU WUSS!

Wow. I totally missed the point of this post, didn't I?

MoDigli said...

Brooke ~ are you saying that you are no longer going to be a clean freak?!

Now THAT is a hard habit to break!

Brookelina said...

Billy - and it's always hot here in Florida!

TF - freak.

Anita - you did, but I agree with you anyway.

MoMo - good lord no. This applies only for today. And maybe tomorrow.

Blonde Vigilante said...

Can I just say that I love Anita.

Pull my hair.

Tumbleweed said...

Hey, that's true! I never thought about that. Fuck cleaning...I'm having lipo!

Egan said...

Blonde Vigilante, yes you can say that you love her. I know I do. She's the shit.

thephoenixnyc said...

Anita gets my vote for reply of the day.

Cactus Prick said...

You're right, it doesn't really matter how disgusting the floor is . . . . as long as she's on the bottom.

Übermilf said...

Of course, a smelly house and disease-ridden filth is no turn on, either.

And who wants Joan Rivers anymore? I wouldn't take her sex advice.

Brookelina said...

Blonde - you go girl.

Weedie - there ya go!

Egan - I have no reply since your comment wasn't to me. Now go get my ipod sock.

Phoenix - oh she's got my vote too.

Prick - I will never ever fuck you.

Ubie - I would never take sex advice from that dried up plastic surgery specimen. But cleaning advice, that's a different story.

Egan said...

Hi Brooke. Do you own an iPod?

Brookelina said...

Yes I do!! Didn't I tell you that?

Bill said...

I like to think of myself as a finely crafted wooden something-or-other with a golden glow .... but in dire need of a good lemon scented oil rub down. Mmmm ....

I'm sorry. What was that post about?

Mone said...

clean floor?... go out on the green gras and smell the midnigth air... and do it both ways, top and bottom!

ChickyBabe said...

What's housework?

Nick said...

Nothing says "I love you" like pine sol in your butt crack.

Alistair! said...

You gender-traitor! Get back in that kitchen and...urm...sorry Mr. Mysoginist stopped by for a call then...hurrumph...OK so doing it on linolium would leave angry red burns on his knees and elbows, your knees and elbows and possibly on the parts of your body that are in contact with the aformentioned linolium.

Lino friction burns are almost ( but not quite)as bad as carpet burns, no matter how clean the floor is.


I think I may have said too much.

Brookelina said...

Bill - I think it had to do with sex, didn't it?

Mone - you rule.

Chicky - that's the thing I'll be doing all day because I'm such an anal retentive freak.]

Nick - that's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me.

Alistair - maybe so, but I found it all most informative.

Blonde Vigilante said...

Thy cake is done, Thy eat some, With or without milk.

Flounder said...

I'll be on the couch...

Will there be a psychiatrist present?

Alistair! said...

Hey Brooke, don't mention it. Anything about physical trauma during the act of coitus. Just don't ask me about the vacuum, the gerbil and the economy-size tube of KY!

The Dummy said...

No, but the hot part is catching the gal down on all fours, shaking that thing at you.

nerdboy said...

Wait. People actually listen to Joan Rivers?

TinaPoPo said...

oooh god. that is priceless.