Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Happy Blogiversary To Me


It is hard to believe it was a year ago on this day that I made that fateful Google search which led me to the world of blogging. It is even harder to believe what a big part of my life this has become. This past year I have poured out my soul in some 156 posts, participated in many a dreaded meme, written more than my share of inane comments, and best of all - have made several blog friends. It is a completely different world than what I expected. I knew nothing of comments, site meters, or blogrolls. I had no idea about cliques, lurkers, or comment bombs. It is a whole new world, this blogworld is. So I am now going to offer up five little pearls of wisdom and knowledge I have acquired this past year to those newbies out there who might be considering joining the world of blog - and all with the help of everyone's favorite imaginary friend, Tyler Durden.

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1) The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club. Woe to those whose families and friends read their blogs. I have told very few friends about my blog - and I'm almost sorry I even told them. Sorry guys, but really, I tell you everything anyway. I have told no immediate family and absolutely no workmates. How can you bitch about family and friends if they are snooping around your blog looking for dirt? Keep the blog to yourself. Your blog life - and real life - will be all the healthier for it.

2) Hey, you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility! I originally started writing in the hopes that if anyone out there was looking for me, they could find me through my blog. Well that was as dumb as a bag of hammers. If there is one thing I could change it would be that my name would be in no way associated with this thing, especially now that I am in the education field. Being a teacher, and having my name on here, I just don't feel comfortable writing about my sexual exploits or drunken debauchery. Because that's the reason I don't write about that stuff, not because there are no sexual exploits or drunken debauchery to write about.
Shut up.

3) Man, you've got some fucked up friends, I'm tellin' ya. Limber, though...Blog crushes are an inevitable part of the game. I have yet to meet a blogger who did not form some sort of a crush on a fellow blogger. Ok, I have yet to meet a blogger at all, but you know what I mean. The crushes happen, and I am here to tell you - don't let it happen to you! The blog world is an unnatural world; friendships come hard and fast. If you make a friend, keep it that way - as a friend. This is going to come as quite a shock... but... people on the internet....lie. No, it's true! They do! If you want a date, go to Match.com. Don't look for one through your blog. And no, I'm not going to mention MoMo here, because she just blows my whole crush theory to hell, damn her and her perfect man.

4) The things you own, end up owning you. At some point I became more concerned with how many blogrolls I was on and how many hits my blog was getting than about what I was writing. That's when I knew it was time to step away from the computer. Yes, it's always flattering to be blogrolled by people, just don't freak out if they dump you like a bad habit with no notice. Having a Site Meter is really only worthwhile to see how complete strangers find your blog through internet searches - I am number one for Accidental Flash! And don't get me started on Comment Envy. Listen, comments are a very nice way to get feedback, but whether you get 5 or 50, it doesn't matter. It's a blog, not a popularity contest. If you are trying to grab that elusive popularity you never obtained in high school, then you are a bigger loser than you were back then. And I know of what I speak, cause I was super cool in high school. No really, I was much cooler then than I am now. Now I'm a dork.

5) Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
Don't try to be like others, just be yourself. My blog is all about me. Me me me. There's nothing wrong with that! Let's face it, if I don't write about me, who else will? Some people rant about politics, others treat their blog like a journal, while still others practice their mad writing skills. It's your blog and you can do what you want with it. If you like hot fez wearing chicks - then show them off! If exploding things in the microwave is your thing - feel free to share with the world! If conversing with your penis is your claim to fame - then get some therapy. But write about it first!

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And there you have them, my five little nuggets of genius. Extra special thanks to Tyler Durden for his help with this extra special post. I hope you enjoyed my first blogiversary musings. If you did, come back again sometime. If not, go fuck yourself.
What! It's my blog, I can say what I want.


Tis better to have blogged and lost than never to have blogged at all.
- The Babbling Brooke

Congratulations. You're one step closer to hitting bottom.
- Tyler Durden


46 comments:

snoopy said...

Love the pearls of wisdom. All true. Happy Blogiversary!

jackt said...

Brooke this is the best post I've read today. I have not installed any sort of site meter because I wanted to be sure I focused on the content and not other things. Happy Blogiversary!

darth said...

happy blogiversary, brooke!

thephoenixnyc said...

Have I told you before that you are awesome? Happy Bloggiverssary Brooke. Muah.

Lushy said...

Happy blogiversary!

xoxo
-Lushy

Miss Browneyedgirlie said...

Happy Blogiversary! Mine was yesterday :)

Egan said...

Congrats on one year of blogging. You're a joy to read Brooke. Very entertaining and fantastic school stories. Keep plugging away and enjoy your summer break. You fucking deserve it!

Tumbleweed said...

This was an outstanding post and there is no way you were cooler in High School! We would have totally been friends!! I loved the advice....it was all so true. Take care and Happy Anniversary. Could you start another blog under a different name and tell us about your drunken sex please? e-mail it to me!

Tumbleweed said...

I installed a site meter a long time ago on my blog, but I'll be damned if I can't remember my login or password. Have not looked at it since day one....I'm an idiot.

Neil said...

Happy Blogiversary to my first blog crush. The Blogosphere would not be the same without you.

MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

A most excellent post, one I will be well-served to remember. Happy versary. And many more!

Übermilf said...

Happy blog-o-versary, doll!

One problem: what do I do with all these feelings I have for you, now that we're "just friends?"

Also, had I know I would be filmed yesterday, I would've worn makeup and a more flattering outfit. Such is life.

MoDigli said...

WoW! How'd you wrangle Tyler Durden to help you out? My favorite quote of his is "And how's that working out for ya?"

BTW ... thanks for making me the exception. :)

Alistair! said...

happy bgo-o-versary brooke baby. Mine was - incredibly- two years old last month!

Sound advice and definitely things that I adhere to. I try to keep the blog as stream-of-consciousness as possible and do whatever I think of or what I'm inspired on that day. Hence the name of the blog. to date there have been rants on various subjects. Several silly reports, some bad poetry and lots of pictures of the Sprog.

I personally don't have too much of a problem with my real name on the blog, I've done a few google searches on it and it doesn't turn up much.

As to blog crushes...I suppose that this means I gotta stop whacking-off everytime I come in here...

ChickyBabe said...

Happy 1st Bloggy Brooke! Now where's the cake??

Sizzle said...

excellent 5. rules to blog by!

Brookelina said...

S~ - thank you! Love the profile pic.

Jackt - glad you liked it!

Darth - long time no see. Thanks love. :)

Phoenix - you have not told me that, but you may tell me as often as you like. Muah.

Lushy - thank you! We really have to get to work on our group blog. Poor thing.

BEG - wow, what a coincidence! Oh, and I'm stealing your ticker thingie.

Egan - fuckin' A!

Weedie - I've actually thought about that....hmmmm...I'll keep you posted. As for your site meter, be glad you didn't bother!

Neil - first crush, but not the last. I know when I've been dumped. You don't even read my posts anymore! If you did you'd have mentioned the link.

Monkeygurrrrrl - thank you so!

Ubie - we can talk about those feelings in private. I'll bring the wine.

MoMo - I love that line too! In fact, I don't think there is a line that Tyler says that I don't love. I never figured you for a Fight Club chick. You never cease to surprise.

Alistair - woah Nellie! Nobody said anything about stopping the whacking! In fact, I encourage it!

Chicky - I really should have had a cake here, but when Tyler is around my mind actually thinks more about sex than cake.

Sizz - thank you! As I was saying to Lushy...time to get back on our blog!

jungle jane said...

Hmmm....I see no mentions of foreskin...I didn't stop my busy schedule just to stick feathers up my arse and pretend i am a cock you know...

Happy whatsit. I have short term memory issues - i could have sworn I came here to celebrate something...

Flounder said...

...and Brooke begat Flounder

Happy Blogiversary babe!

CheyenneWay said...

If you are trying to grab that elusive popularity you never obtained in high school, then you are a bigger loser than you were back then.

*Runs away flailing arms screaming and crying, snot bubbles bursting*

happy blogiversary brooke, i know i rarely comment and could be considered a lurker but this post was pretty neato burrito. I can only hope that I will be able to stick with it and post more in the future.

Bill said...

Well, happy birthday … but let’s get to the serious business. I was very disappointed by point #3. My only purpose in blogging was to find a blog soulmate, move to Belize and live in naked and sexual wonder. Apparently that won’t be happening with Brooke. So I shall now move on to the also-rans.

Point #5 explains my post today, about hockey, the Edmonton Oilers and the quest for the Stanley Cup. I know no one out in the blogosphere gives a rat’s behind, but I cannot be responsible for blinkered ignorance. Go Oilers! (Besides, in this town if you’re not into it they simply kill you. They are very passionate about their hockey.)

Happy blogoversary!!!

Knitty Kitty said...

its easy to not have comment envy when you routinely hit over 20!
I'm off to meet Loz this weekend, I promise there will be no crushes, sorry Loz.

katarina said...

Happy Anniversary!!
#1 I learned the hard way.

Mone said...

wise words as always...
Happy Blogiversary!

Spinning Girl said...

I love this post.

Girl With An Alibi said...

Happy Blogiversary girlfriend!

The real me said...

Love your blog Ms. Rose! Can't seem to get past the feathers in the ass part though... please tell me you weren't speaking from personal experience!

kimananda said...

Happy blogiversary! You have given some great advice there...I may even consider keeping some of it (too late for the first one, though).

WhiteBoyBob said...

Happy blogday to you!

All sage words of advice there. I have tried to be truthful to myself on my blog but sometimes people get upset when you don't write what they want you to.

I also admire the fact that you haven't gone crazy like me and deleted your blog on serveral occasions. I've lost stuff I really wanted to keep.

Here's to another year blogging.

Melanie was here said...

POOP

JJ said...

Pure genius, SMG. Pure genius.

Lo Lo Lova said...

Sorry I missed your Blogiversary. Hope it was a happy one. Thanks for the pearls of wisdom. Wish I would have read them BEFORE I ever started blogging...

Lo Lo Lova said...

Sorry I missed your blogiversary! Hope it was happy.

I wish I would have had these pearls when I started blogging...

babyjewels said...

xo

solethoughts said...

Wait a minute...what about my blog crush on Isla??? Well I guess it doesn't count because we actually knew each other.

Happy Blogiversary and I'm glad I found you.

Loz said...

happy first one brooke... i forgot mine last month. i'm one dedicated blogger.

Dan said...

Well said.

The Moviequill said...

you mean people tell the truth on Match.com?

Lo Lo Lova said...

Blogger is such a whore! I blogged once and it gave me a message saying it was unavailable and deleted my comment. So I blogged again, basically saying the same thing. And now BOTH comments are there. Well... Don't I look like a giant ASS!

yournamehere said...

White woman speak truth. Sorry I missed this until now, but my computer access has been greatly diminished.

GrandPooOfAwesome said...

Very wise.

I'm sure as hell glad I didn't associate my blog with my name. Do you know how many times I hear "I googled your name"from my students?

Good advice. I used to be interested in all those things: blogrolling, site meter, etc. but it takes something from ya. I don't want to blog anymore if I ever give a shit about those things again.

jiggs said...

happy blogiversary!

jiggs said...

also your thoughts on the blogging are all dynomite

King of Cake said...

*mouth agape, scepter dangling* WHaaa?! Only a year? But I thought you were a HARDENED VETERAN!!!!

*reels away in confusion*

Rick Lee said...

love poem

BV said...

Man, you've got some fucked up friends, I'm tellin' ya. Limber, though...Blog crushes are an inevitable part of the game. I have yet to meet a blogger who did not form some sort of a crush on a fellow blogger. Ok, I have yet to meet a blogger at all, but you know what I mean. The crushes happen, and I am here to tell you - don't let it happen to you! The blog world is an unnatural world; friendships come hard and fast. If you make a friend, keep it that way - as a friend. This is going to come as quite a shock... but... people on the internet....lie. No, it's true! They do!

Wish I had read this a couple of years ago.