Saturday, November 25, 2006

Top Ten Good Things About Living Alone


Also known as 10 things I can do in my apartment that I don't have to be embarrassed about since nobody else is around to see it.

  1. I can shloof around in my favorite ratty sweatpants with the big hole in the ass and not wear panties.
  2. I can spend an entire day watching reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
  3. I can have cake for breakfast.
  4. I can have popcorn for dinner.
  5. I can consume all the greasy pancakes I want.
  6. I can sweat and moan and groan all I want while doing my Tae Bo.
  7. I can take an hour long bubble bath and nobody will ruin it by needing to take a poop while I'm in the tub.
  8. I can go days - even weeks - without shaving my legs.
  9. I can sleep in the center of the bed, hog all the covers, and take off my pajamas in my sleep without bothering anyone.
  10. I can enjoy my fantasies about my various crushes with no sense of guilt whatsoever.

Next: Top Ten Reasons Living Alone Sucks


28 comments:

Churlita said...

Holy shit! You and I are living very similar lives in different parts of the country. Popcorn is my dinner of choice. I think I'll go make some right now.

Flounder said...

You should set up a video camera while you sleep to see if you do some kind of erotic striptease or if you just rip off the pj's like the Hulk.

BTW - The last 4 letters of my word verification are wmmr. How cool is that?

Loz said...

The whole time I lived by myself I never had to shut the bathroom door even once. I think that should be on the list.

Lushy said...

My absolute favorite thing about living alone combines some of your faves:

I can sit on my couch in my underwear, drinking a Fat Tire, eating a popsicle for dinner and flip happily through an US Weekly without getting so much as an exasperated sigh.

I definitely don't miss the exasperated sigh.

FindingHeart said...

I'm only alone the 1/2 time I'm without kids, but like the list anyway. BTW, what are pajamas? :)

Tits McGee said...

I will never be able to think of anything other than you wearing your favorite ratty sweatpants with the big hole in the ass and no panties ever again.

yournamehere said...

You aren't wearing any panties.

Sizzle said...

these are good! i needed to be reminded.

Hypersonic said...

So..these sweatpants with holes in the ass that you don't wear panties under..?

Egan said...

Great list. Singlehood does have its privileges.

jiggs said...

people are trying to poop in your bathtub? weird!

thephoenixnyc said...

I can do all of these except 10 and 11, and I'm married now. Woot!!

nicalyse said...

I love the list, and am now inspired to write my own, including complete TV control and uninterrupted napping.

Dave said...

Didn't need to know the leg shaving thing.

Oh, by the way I was looking for you in Florida, but no luck...

Nance said...

Oh Man. NUMBER 7. Heavy Sigh.

Nick said...

I live with my parents and my list is remarkably similar.

~d said...

Hiya.
Nice list.

I like, like the last line about fantasies and crushes.
(smile!)

JJ said...

Hmm, those are all things I do already and I'm married. Of course, she bought me the sweatpants with whole already in the seat.

miss kendra said...

i can't wait!

Cincysundevil said...

No panties and you undress in your sleep? Tell me again why we're not married?

Mone said...

Suddendly I like living alone a bit more ;)

matty said...

I don't get it --- I do all of those things even when I live with someone. However, being a guy, I've never had to shave my legs. Now, if I were a champion olympic swimmer I would have to do that.

I swim, but not at the olympic level.

cool list!

Flounder said...

Since you haven't commented back, I'm going with the Hulk.

Tim said...

Sounds to me like you just need to find someone that doesn't care if you do all that stuff. Like I did.

Erin O'Brien said...

The sad thing is that I do all this stuff and I've been married for 14 years.

The Dummy said...

With all that interest in your sweatpants, you should put it up on eBay.

The Moviequill said...

#1 is how I live

BV said...

Honey, if we lived together, you could have for breakfast with me. I would not judge.