Sunday, November 12, 2006

Five Things That Make Me Go EEEEK!

1. Bugs. Hate 'em. All of 'em. Except for ladybugs. They are adorable and I do everything I can to save them. I used to feel this way about spiders too. "NO! Don't hurt the spider! It could be Charlotte!" That sympathy went out the window after I lived in Australia and learned about spiders like this.

2. Light bulbs. Not in general, it's not like I have some twisted phobia. I just hate when they blow out. I squeal like a little girl when they make that pop sound as you turn on the light. It's really quite embarassing. I also break into a small sweat when I have to pull a new one out of its protective cardboard casing. Will it come cleanly? Will my freakishly strong fingers bust through the delicate glass? Someday when I find a man, lightbulbs will be his dominion.

3. Shopping. Clearly I am missing some sort of girlie gene that makes the shopping experience enjoyable. I especially hate shopping for clothes. And shoes. And lingerie. Pretty much anything that I have to physically try on is not a pleasant time for me. Today I went shoe shopping and I could not wait to get out of the store - and that was just to buy work shoes! Buying high heels? The very thought makes me break out in hives. Are they cute according to the cute girlie standards? Or are they trashy and make me look like a $20 whore? I have no clue.

4. Poop.I really don't like anything poop. I mean, I like a good poop joke as much as the next person, but the reality of poop makes me very uncomfortable. Actually it's not the poop itself, it's the odor. I have a highly sensitive sense of smell, and poo stink just makes me gag. There are few things worse than walking into a bathroom where someone has just dropped a cagadota. Dirty diapers, doggy doo, even just stanky farts can bring bile to my throat. In fact, this entire paragraph is making me a little ill.

5. Boys. EEEEK!


yournamehere said...

Since you hate poop and boys, a Dirty Sanchez would probably push you right over the edge.

Spinning Girl said...

We totally need to hang out, because I hate shopping too! So much.

ChickyBabe said...

1-4 ditto.
5 Surely you mean boys not men!

MoDigli said...

damn, I read that link about that australian spider. It's fangs can penetrate human fingernails?!!! That is crazy! Talk about some SERIOUS EEEEEKKKK!!!!!

Tits McGee said...

I'm scared of moths. Moths. So. Lame.

Churlita said...

I don't mind spiders, I hate shopping too and I avoid pooping in public restrooms if at all possible. And boys? Boys as friends are great, boys for romance make me confused and nervous - they change into different people when you date them. Have you ever noticed that?

Dan-E said...

poop? even your own poop? so like, when you're sitting there and drop a couple of logs, you start to dry-heave? I'm just asking. i feel like we should know these things.

Flounder said...

I am a boy that killed a spider in the bathroom this morning while I was taking the Browns to the Superbowl.

I am typing this in the dark because the light bulb blew out at my desk.

I need to go grocery shopping on the way home from work this afternoon, too.

Are you thoroughly repulsed yet? More so than usual?

The Dummy said...

How about butterflies? Aren't they bugs? Take a look at this really cool one!

By the way, thanks for adding a link to the site! You made my day!

miss kendra said...

i hate all bugs, including ladybugs.

they are not cute when they fly right up in your face!

also, boys are gross.

Damien said...

Suuuuuup Brooksteroo,

Down with poop babes.

Monkey said...

The invention of the internet and the subsequent discovery of said internet by clothing purveyors saved my life. I hate shopping. The people! The chaos! The time wasted searching for something... Ahhhh!

Oh sweet internet. How I cradle my head in your protective embrace.

Monkey's Human

P.S. Monkey kind of likes shopping. I don't know why.

Brookelina said...

Todd - I'm going to kill you for even mentioning it.

Spin - hate it!!! Yay!

Chicky - I don't hate boys, they just make me go EEEK!

MoMo - right? They also can blow a bubble around themselves and live in a pool for days, so you always had to check a pool before you went it. EEEK!

Tits - seriously. That's lame.

Churlita - is it possible we were separated at birth?

Dan - how's that break-up going?

Brookelina said...

Flounder - taking the Browns to the Superbowl? That is the awesomest ever. And believe it or not, I have never been anything close to being repulsed by you. Not even the same vicinity.

Dummy - glad I made your day! My pleasure!

Kendra - they don't mean to fly in your face! They have a terrible sense of directions. Boys are totally gross.

Damien - suuuuuuuuup!

Monkey's Human - can I just tell you that just after I wrote this post I found gift cards to Barnes & Noble and The Gap!! I sooooo dot com shopped! And don't get me started on ebay. Sweet sweet ebay...

FindingHeart said...

Made me remember a laugh from last weekend: My boy (6yrs) and I were laughing about juvenile poop humor and I told him about the time he became the fuzzy pumper during the diaper change. Woulda made the soft serve at Dairy Queen jealous! Boy humor is fun!!

So I guess #4 and #5 are covered here, huh. LOL.

jiggs said...

so something that you'd be very scared of is a male spider that worked at the shoe store you needed to purchase shoes at.

Sizzle said...

shopping is kind of overrated but i still kind of like it. sigh.

boys? EEEK!

Dan-E said...

quite well, actually.

Übermilf said...

I hate shopping.

I like coming up with ideas in my head of what I'd like to buy, but I hate actually going to the store or perusing the lame items for sale.

The things in my head are so much cooler.

NotCarrie said...

I am scared of being electrocute by a broken lightbulb in the socket. Is that weird?

Anny said...

i'm sorry but #4 really cracked me up!