Thursday, July 14, 2005

Top Ten Signs Brooke's Anal Retentiveness is Out of Control

1o. She can't sleep if there are dishes in the sink.

9. She can't get into an unmade bed.

8. She is unable to do any type of computer work unless her apartment is spotless. (and let's face it, she is always at the computer)

7. If she breaks one nail, she cuts them all so they will be even.

6. She opens Word to check spelling and grammar for her blog posts.

5. Her spices and canned goods are in alphabetical order and are all facing front.

4. She looked up the term "anal retentive" to see if she actually is, technically, anal retentive.

3. She bleaches her coffee cups.

2. She reads her daily bloglist alphabetically - no skipping.

And the number one sign Brooke's anal retentiveness is out of control:

1. Coasters, coasters, coasters!


Brooke wrote this post in the third person so that she could separate herself from her freakish anal retentiveness and write objectively. She will go back to writing properly in her next post. Thank you.

44 comments:

Egan said...

You would never ever fall asleep at my house.

On a serious note, does it put a damper on your dating life?

Neil said...

Very interesting, Felix Unger... I mean Brooke. I check my blog posts in gmail's spell checker. Never thought of doing it in Word. Thanks. Anals unite!

Brookelina said...

Good question. I'm thinking that my ever-increasing anal retentiveness is in direct correlation with my ever-decreasing dating life.

Brookelina said...

Ha! I knew the anal retentives of the blogworld would unite!

Say hi to mom!

The Moviequill said...

I thought it read anal ATTENTIVE which is basically why I'm here (just teasin)

TrueJerseyGirl said...

I am SO NOT anal retentive. My husband used to be, actually. When we first got married, he was obsessive about cleaning and checking everything over and over, so we balanced each other out. Now, he is too tired to be anal retentive, so things are not so clean. But I am ok with that!

Übermilf said...

Um, Virgo here. 'Nuff said.

MoDigli said...

Anal rententiveness. It's so rampant among us teachers. For some reason, though, I never got it. You should the piles of mail on my dining room table! LOL!

And by the way... did you notice?
13

MoDigli said...

PS. You're gaining on me: 39 - 48 countries. AND you have EGYPT!!! I wish I had Egypt! I'll trade you Qatar for Egypt.

Knitty Kitty said...

teehee.. I can't get into an unmade bed. EVER. Drives my bf nuts.
I hate having dishes in the sink over night. I also read all my blog posts in a special order.

We are all a little insane!

-LMK

Pink Lemonade Diva said...

We could be friends - I have my own list. Shhhhh.

yournamehere said...

I used to work at a store called Organized Living. It was like porn for the anal retentives. Oh, and the obsessive-compulsives. I once saw a lady painstakingly examine hundreds of plastic shoeboxes just to find four flawless ones. Fun times.

A. Estella Sassypants said...

I'm another teacher that missed the anal retentive boat. Well, except I can't leave my cruise control on standby under any circumstances. But that's normal, right?

Gordy said...

So your appartment must always be spotless then with all the time you spend on the PC.

I agree with 6, nothing worse than a spelling or grammar error, although I still make them. Sometimes you can rely too much on the tools. Lorraine usually picks them up and then I correct them.

Coffee cups bleached, that is a bit odd..

No 2. so I must be pretty near the top of your list then :-)

Now put that can down on a coaster and get back to cleaning!

darth said...

whats this about virgos?

unmade bed? really???

Anthony said...

About once every two weeks I have a bout of anal retentivness, the rest of the time I'm a slob. Worse than a slob actually. A pig.

joanne said...

Wow, I could learn a thing or two from you. I am complete slob! If you saw my desk, you'd probably hurl up a furrball.

Kallun said...

(I'm shaking my head as I read your list)

Oh Brooke... I used to have a flatmate like you... let me just say that we didn't live together very long.

Harley Quinn said...

hee hee... I color code my bath towels. Once when I was running an accounting dept. my ops manager came into my office and struck up a conversation (i was about 23 then)...during the course of this conversation he moved things around on the top of my desk only to watch me continue talking and move them back into their 'place'.

He said with his gorgeous blue eyes and twinkling smile....

"retent much"?

I'm not a teacher - nor a virgo - but I too, am retentive.

Marel Lecone said...

Wow. What do I have in common with your list? I do edit a post several times if necessary. But, that is about it.:) Your place must be really amazing and clean!:)

nin said...

bleaching coffee cups....lol
no 7 is funny...
nice post...

Lo Lo Lova said...

Thank God I'm not the only one!!! My poor husband had it rough our first year of marriage. But he's come around. And I've gotten a SMIDGE "better." But just a smidge. Although I don't look at it as better. My husband does.

But, growing up in a house with an anal retentive mother and a meticulous father, what else would I be?

Do you watch "Monk"? That man is my HERO!

JJ said...

Hearing the phrase "anals unite" I think I threw up a little.

On the other hand, MLA has the same "dishes in the sink" thing but I have to wash them... for some reason. Probably so she'll let me sleep.

gone said...

Me too, JJ.

My LP's are in alphabetical order (not to odd), but also seperated by genre, and in order from oldest to newest by release date. Yeah.

Oh, Brooke, by the way...BARF!

TamWill said...

I can relate to your whole list. I bleach my coffee cups too. My husband sometimes complains that he lives in a museum. I have lightened up some as I have aged, now I do not notice if something has been moved out of place (like a coaster). It has to be clean for my mind to function. signed, The Queen of Lysol! hehehe

Brookelina said...

Holy crap.
Ok, here goes!

MQ - you're a perv. And why haven't you answered your interview questions!

Jersey - you live a much more relaxed life being non-anal retentive, believe me.

Uber - I hear ya sista. You know my pain.

Mo - you are messy! I'm shocked! And Neo is stuck at 39. Much like me.

Miss Knit - that was the one that really wigged me out, so I'm so glad that others feel the compulsion to make a messy bed before getting into it. Whew!

Diva - oh do tell! Please!

Todd - a store called Organized Living, is there really such a place? I think I hear angels singing....

Andi - that's a little anal. Another teacher - cool!

Gordy - coffee cups get stained with coffee, bleaching makes them sparkly again. Ok it's weird.

Brookelina said...

Darth - Virgos are notoriously organized, anal retentive, and compulsively neat. And yes, unmade bed. But hey, there are always circumstances that break the rules. ;)

Anthony - you're back! I don't even care what you wrote! So good to see your face!

Jo - so you and Mo Mo can live together in the big sloppy house and I'll take the neat little cottage in the back!

Kallun - I'm sure I've driven a few flatmates crazy. But in the end they admire my spotless kitchens and lemon scented furniture.

Heaven - I read your comment and thought - how dare he move things on your desk!

Marel - be grateful you don't have the affliction.

Avik - thanks!

Lo Lo - I love that show! But he makes me look absolutely slovenly. So I got that going for me.

JJ - see, if I had a husband he could take over some of my workload....hmmmmmm...

Jacob - my CD's are in alphabetical order but the genre thing got me too worked up. I do separate my cookbooks by genre though - restaurant books, instructional, vegetarian, etc.
And barf to you too.

Tamwill - queen of Lysol, I love it.

Cactus Prick said...

Ooh, I'm changing the name of my blog to AAACactus Prick.

AMS said...

Scarily enough I can relate to that list. Aaaaaahhhh!

MoDigli said...

Ok. Just figured out where I'm anal: Blog posting. I will read and re-read and re-read. Changing. Altering. Polishing. It's nuts! But maybe it's more like OCD because it's worse than washing my hands 500 times a day.

(I even do it to comments!) Ugh!

Cincysundevil said...

We should get married. I'm so un-anal retentive that you'd either have to kill me or lessen those anal retentive traits!

Evil Petting Zoo said...

Unmade bed? Wow. I'm not that bad. Worker Girl was like that. She took it a step further. She would make the bed then neatly fold the covers back to lay under them. It really ruined the mood sometimes!

I am anal retentive about some things. My clothes being one. My closet is pretty well organized, especially for a guy. I think I posted a pic of it.

Brookelina said...

Cactus - you are right at the top anyway. ;)

ams - it's actually not scary, it's comforting to know we aren't alone!

Mo Mo - we all have something - I just have lots of things!

Cincy - if I killed you then I'd get your cool apartment with the fireplace....

Evil - when...uh...."properly motivated" ...the sheets could be tied in knots on the bed and I wouldn't care. I do have my priorities in order thank you.

Miss Browneyedgirlie said...

OH MY GOD! We must be related, because 8 out of 10 of those statements ALSO apply to me!! But we're not out of control...just neat and organized :)

yournamehere said...

Brooke,
Organized Living is currently having it's nationwide going out of business sale. They went bankrupt. It was a good idea for a store, but the people who ran it would have gone broke selling condoms at Spring Break.
There's a store in Boca Raton, so if you hurry you can probably get some good deals.

Damien said...

OMG Brookster, It sound's like you have an advanced state of 'AR'.

Unmade beds and sleeping, damn skippy I'm with you on that one I mean, hey we are not animals, make the damn bed (Damien now apologizes should his partner find this commentary).

The Moviequill said...

Brooke baby!. I forgot about JJ but he slapped my ass and I went and answered them

Evil Petting Zoo said...

that's what i'm saying brookalina..i wanna flip the bed off the frame...tear the sheets up....oh wait..i'm getting out of hand now.

Brookelina said...

BEG - yay! More proof I am not alone in this world!

Todd - I know where it is! Tomorrow will be the day I find the mother ship.

Damien - In this day of PC - AR is the perfect moniker. My name is Brooke, and I'm AR.

MQ - That's because JJ is the perfect supermodel boyfriend. Now get to work on that interview!

Evil - if my real name weren't on this blog I could tell you stories that would set your hair on fire. But alas, some things must stay a secret.

yournamehere said...

Let me know how the Organized Living trip went. Post a comment on my blog.

Angie said...

OH my. lol I see myself in some of those. And I never believe my husband when he says that I am.

Spirit Of Owl said...

Well I'm basically a clean, tidy and ordered person. However, I live in a house with Mrs Owl (bless her), two young boys, a baby, and half the time I'm neither use nor ornament, so visitors could be forgiven for thinking I'm a bit of a slob. :)

gone said...

If Jacob could have his way, Mr. Cannot Be Trusted lives in an apartment that cannot stay clean. Sometimes I'm a mess. I start cleaning one thing, look to my left and decide cleaning something else should be done first...and so it goes, a half clean apartment. Poor Jacob. Oh well, to bad for him;)

im here somewhere said...

brooke, i got up and make the bed and cleaned the bathroom of a one-night stands yesterday!( yup, im pretty sure i organized his shoes before we left too)