Thursday, August 09, 2007

Funeral for a Fish


Spike the Calico (age unknown) - of South Jersey, suddenly and unexpectedly departed this life and went home to his Creator on this Thursday afternoon. During his short life, he was an active and fun loving fish. He could often be found swimming round and round his bowl, hiding behind his favorite plastic plants, and schmoozing for food at the waterline.

Cause of death is unknown at this time, but his bowlmate - Louie the Gold - is currently being questioned by authorities regarding what looked like some torn fins and a very large bruise near Spike's mouth. When his owner was asked if another fish will be brought in to keep Louie company, she replied, "I think it might be best for Louie - and any other potential bowlmates - if he were to be kept confined from the general population for the rest of his life a while."

Besides his psychotic bowlmate Louie, Spike is survived by his doting owner and author of this blog, and an unknown number of brothers and sisters who live in fishbowls throughout the Northeast. We will all miss him dearly. A ceremony will be held in the bathroom down the hall this evening. In lieu of flowers, please offer an honorary flush of your toilet in his honor.

20 comments:

yournamehere said...

He who was born of the sea shall return to the sea.

Sysm said...

you know, every time you use that toilet from now on, you'll picture him floating on his side, looking up at you with one eye.

scary

la dolce said...

How is Louie taking it?

brookelina said...

Todd - he's in a better place now.

Sysm - hence the ceremony being held in the bathroom down the hall.

La Dolce - Louie is shitting himself, literally. It's like a six inch string of poop coming off the back of him.

Sizzle said...

i took a moment of silence for him.

Spinning Girl said...

bum pa duummmmmmmmmmmmmmm ....
bummm pa dummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ...
bum pa dum
bum pa dum
bum pa dummmmmm
bum pa paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
bum pum pummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ....
bum pa daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

(that was "taps".)

Princess of the Universe said...

My sincerest condolences.

Tim said...

I flushed twice this morning. Not so much in honor of Spike, but for other reasons. I'll flush trice tomorrow in his honor.

Justin said...

I called the post Ageism. I acknowledged it. But, I don;t think it's all older women that bother me, but those that make a point of coming after me when I don't know them beforehand at all.

Anyway, I didn't make it up. I'm doing the slow, tedious preparation now.

sleepydog said...

Um,

I tried to buy you a new goldfish, but the pet stores all have flyers with your mug shot saying "DO NOT SELL GOLDFISH TO THIS WOMAN"
Apparently, you have quite a reputation in the goldfish community.

brookelina said...

Sizz - I knew you would.

Spinning Girl - of course it was. I recognized your melodious voice immediately.

Princess - much appreciated. It's been a trying time.

Tim - now I can't stop thinking about you in the bathroom.

Justin - I can't wait to meet you so I can kick your ass up and down the street. Don't worry. It won't hurt much, my legs are short.

Sleepy - it's not me! It's Louie! He's out of control I tell you!

Think Frustrated said...

Does it count if I'm flushing my poo at the time, or does the fish need his own commerative flush?

brookelina said...

Well....it is so wasteful to flush for no reason...how about if you flush down a tissue or something? You know, from drying your tears?

miss kendra said...

RIP spike. you are in my thoughts.

and my water processing plant.

(i'm sorry.)

Fledgling Poet said...

I am determined to get out of my pajamas today. I will not yield!?

^^^Loved your response to Three Word Wednesday...your blog is hilarious. :~)

brookelina said...

Kendra - you think he could be out west already? He always wanted to travel.

Poet - thank you! But your poem was much much better than mine.

Bizarro-Flounder said...

I included a big brown shark with my ceremonial flush.

Danielle said...

here's a flush from north jersey... may he rest in peace.

Justin said...

Why wouldn't you want me to follow in your "mature" footsteps?

Bone said...

Aww, I'm sorry. I lost my fishy not too long ago.

Hope he enjoyed his ride down the porcelain hearse.