Tuesday, August 07, 2007

And so you're back, from outer space

I've had two lists of questions sitting around in the "Posts" section of the dashboard just waiting to be answered. The first five are from Todd, who according to a recent fuckwit source is my hero. Clearly I must answer these immediately lest I upset the object of my worship. The second set are from someone I can't remember else.

Todd's Questions

1. What is the one thing, besides family and friends, that you'll miss about South Florida?
I will miss wearing nothing but a t-shirt and jeans to go out in the middle of January. As much as I look forward to the change of seasons, I know I'll be bitching and moaning come the dead of winter here in the northeast.

2. Describe in brief detail the worst date you've ever been on.
This is easy. Click here.

3. If you could meet one celebrity for a non-sexual encounter, who would it be?
Gerard Butler.
Shut up. I'm sure we'd have a lot to talk about.

4. Better Daren: Dick York or Dick Sargent?
Dick York for sure. He was always so frantic. He could make a cup of coffee nervous. It was fun to watch him melt down week after week. Dick Sargent always seemed so annoyed. I think Endora should have magically removed the stick from his ass.

5. Where is your favorite pizza place? Why is it your favorite?
My favorite pizza place in the world is Pizza Fantasy in Rome. It's down the street from the central Termini, right next to the Sexy Theatre. I don't know which was there first, the pizza or the porn, but the pizza is by far the best I've ever had in my life. I haven't been there in years, so it's possible that they have cleaned up that area and changed the name. I just hope they haven't changed the recipe.

Someone Else's Questions

1. If money were no object, what would you be doing with your life?
I'd buy homes in all my favorite cities, and spend my days searching each city for beautiful things to fill them with. I'd go to art museums, fine restaurants, and Broadway shows. I'd hire a sexy trainer to get my body back in shape and then of course, I'd fuck him.

2. Money is just that - an object, so why aren’t you doing it?
Because if I tried to do these things with the money available to me, I'd go to jail for check fraud.

3. What’s better: horses or cows?
Horses are cool because you can ride them and they are pretty.
Cows moo and make steak.
It's a tough call.

4. What do you think the secret to happiness is?
See number 1.

5. When was the last time you had a dream that you either remember well or did not want to awake from? Can you share a bit?
This is a family site, I can't share.
Oh wait, no it's not.

6. When you were a little kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be the first female coach in the NFL.

7. Complete this statement: Love is...
higher than a mountain! Love is thicker than water!

8. Can you tell a good story?
I can tell a fabulous story. Haven't you been reading my blog?

9. Can you remember your last daydream? What was it about?
I remember it well. It was about sex. And real estate. Sex and real estate. Mmmmmm.

10. If you were to thank someone today, who would you thank?
My mom, for making it possible for me to finish school. And for putting up with me when I was a teenager. And for letting me live with her so that I can save up for my dream of sex and real estate.


Justin said...


Come to the city before I leave in the late fall!

Sizzle said...

sex & real estate, that's hawt.

Flounder said...

Yeah, but did you get a job? Will you be corrupting the impressionable minds of south Jersey yutes?

yournamehere said...

I'm sure Gerard has a lot of important things to say.

Personally, I want to discuss the components of infrastructure and the industrial location analysis with Eva Mendes.

brookelina said...

Justin - and where will you be going? I will do my best, it doesn't take much to convince me to come to the city.

Sizz - see, you get me.

Flounder - I have not gotten a job yet. It seems that the two jobs that have been posted since I moved here were applied to by approximately 512 people - each. I may have to resort to subbing.

Todd - that is exactly what I want to discuss with Gerard! His infrastructure. And his location.

Think Frustrated said...

"Just a t-shirt and shorts." Don't they wear underwear in Florida?

brookelina said...


Nance said...

Welcome back. And cows are pretty. What is it with some girls and horses?

Flounder said...

My dearest Brooke. Though eating subs may be a delicious distraction to your job search, I hardly think that someone will pay you to do so.

That is the kind of subbing you meant, right?

brookelina said...

Nance - cows are pretty, but you don't look cool riding them.

Flounder - only in heaven is there such a job as getting paid to eat subs!

Übermilf said...

what's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Bone said...

I gotta go cows. Horses have those freaky big bowling ball eyes. Then again, I've never really looked a cow in the eye.

brookelina said...

Ubie - hazelnut gelato. If you would like to buy me some, we could go to Italy and get a few gallons.

Bone - plus you can tip them over!

Spinning Girl said...

Survey 2, #1 --- all over that. Except the fucking part. I don't mix work & pleasure. Except sometimes.

Spinning Girl said...

Now get over to my blog and catch up! :)

Justin said...

I'm going to teach English (funny!) in Dubai.

brookelina said...

Spinning Girl - I don't look at it as mixing work and pleasure. Sex is good exercise, so in fact we would be just working out together. And I'm on my way!

Justin - you just made that up.

Janine said...

Yay! You are back! I was just about to come over here and say, "I am back and you should be too." Kidding of course. But now I don't have to.

Janine said...

The above comment is from Naynayfazz.... I hate when I forget to sign in under NNF and it says Janine. No one knows it is me!

jiggs said...

Dick York... Dick Sargent... Wait a second! Sargent York!

Tits McGee said...

When the dead of winter comes, baby, the warmth of my bosom will be but a few hours drive away.

I'm just saying.

Justin said...

No, seriously. If you'd read Justin's Reasons you'd know that. I mention it from time to time.

brookelina said...

Janine - you'll always be NayNay to me!

Jiggs - I love it when you say "Dick".

Tits - I love it when you say "warmth of my bosom".

Justin - I did just read your blog. Ageist.

Sysm said...

Why don't they use "bosom" to refer to a man's chest anymore? As in, "Rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham."

Is it because of Meat Loaf in "Fight Club"?

Would the spiritual have to use the phrase "bitch tits" instead?

I'm flummoxed. This quandary is so high I can't get over it. So low I can't get under it.

Oh, rock my soul.

brookelina said...

Poor Meatloaf. All those years of rocking 70's music completely obliterated by the exposure of his man boobs.

I, for one, did not notice them. I wouldn't notice the space shuttle launch if Brad Pitt had his shirt off.

Hypersonic said...

Look...life isn't just about sex and real estate...what the fuck am I saying?! Of course it's about sex! Jeez! Slap me with a rubber dildo.

Welcome back liddle brooke.

brookelina said...

And real estate. Don't forget the real estate.

sleepydog said...


Sorry I'm late to the party. Welcome back. You were sorely missed!

If I was answering #10 right now I'd thank YOU for brightening my day (and Sizzle, for using the word "hawt" and meaning it ;) )

You rock, Brooke!

Therese said...

By the way.

I knew we were kindred spirits when I first heard you mention his name.