Saturday, November 05, 2005

Today's Horoscope

As I was reading my daily Yahoo! horoscope today, I noticed that it seemed to be very centered on the subject of love - a subject that is severely lacking in my life. Usually my horoscope says that I should focus on my career, or to try to stop procrastinating, or that I should try to stay out of other people's problems, so I was more than a little surprised when every astrology site I checked out assured me that I was about to fall wildly in love. Apparently, love is in the air!

Your Daily Virgo Forecast
Quickie: Your latest crush likes you too -- strike while the iron is hot and go for romance.
I would be really excited about this if I weren't thousands of miles away from my latest crush.

Overview: An ordinary attraction will probably turn into a passionate affair within a matter of seconds. If you're available, there's no time like the present to put an end to your single status.
Wow. I better go shave my legs.

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
Whoever you see on a daily basis will suddenly seem much closer to you than just a casual acquaintance now. In fact, you'll be amazed at the amount of flirting you can fit into a casual conversation -- and at how quickly it can happen. So when someone who's really not much more than a stranger starts getting close to you, enjoy it -- but if you're attached, don't let it get too far.
Define the phrase "see on a daily basis" please. I don't get out much.

Singles Love Astrology: You know what they say: You can't win if you don't play. Now's the time to get wholeheartedly in on the game of love. If this were Bingo, you'd want to get as many cards going as humanly possible.
Shuffle up boys! Brookester's in the game!

So I guess this means I actually have to leave the house. Crap.

26 comments:

Calzone said...

Baby,

I'm not thousands of miles away. It just seems like that. And I'm sorry I judged you. I don't think it's wierd that you want me to eat a roast off your ass.

Brookelina said...

Calzone - I can't stop thinking about you.

yournamehere said...

Brooke,
c'mon, our children would be great bloggers. If they have your looks, I could even grow to be proud of them. If they have my looks we can sell them to the gypsies.

Melliferous Pants said...

Do you realize your sun sign is just one letter off from your future husband's name?

gone said...

Do you see "him" daily in Jersey or in Florida. I wonder if the astrologers know you're relocating soon?

Loz said...

on a daily basis, huh? brooke don't you DARE fall in love with one of your students. it's a crime. step away from the children!

i've been hoping i wouldn't have to leave the house either. presently i'm waiting for mr. gawgeous to come a-knockin on my door to whisk me away romantically. whisk.

BamaGirl said...

Wow, that's a lot of horoscopes telling you the same thing. It must be love! I'm a virgo too. What does that mean for me? ;)

Bill said...

I really wanted to pour out my heart on this one but my own horoscope says, "Refuse to discuss anything more serious than where to have dinner."

It also seems I've had tension in my shoulders recently so I really ought to lie down. The Capricorn's life is not an easy one.

Brookelina said...

Todd - my looks, your height, your wit, my teeth - oh what a combo!

Pants - oh oh oh! I never noticed. Viggo I'm your Virgo!

CBT - that is a good question. Could you ask the stars to be more specific for me? Thank you.

Loz - eeeewwwwww, my kids are like 6 and 7 years old. Ewwwwwwww. But I too keep thinking Mr. Wonderful is gonna come-a-knockin'. I think we have been misinformed.

Bama - it means that men will be falling at your feet, so your husband better be prepared to fight for his bride!

Bill - that is typically my horoscope. That's ok. You can pour your heart out here anytime.

Übermilf said...

Brooke, watch out. Calzone is a dirty, dirty dragon.

And I'm not talking about his sexual proclivities. I mean, he smells and he'll leave sooty tracks all over your duvet cover.

I'm just sayin'.

MoDigli said...

go get him, brooke! Even if your crush is thousands of miles away, there's always email and IM!

I think it must be Viggo, but then again, Neil is thousands of miles away too...

hmmm.... ;)

Anthony said...

Is there any ass roast left? I'm hungry.

Brookelina said...

Ubie - I noticed the smell - it must be the dragon breath. I'm still airing out my place. And my exterminator is unable to identify the critters he left behind.

MoMo - hmmmm indeed. You kept your crush a secret, I'm keeping mine a secret. So there! (By the way, I suck at keeping my own secrets.)

Anthony - you'll have to fight Calzone for it, and remember, he has serious dragon breath. Bring a gas mask.

Brookelina said...

And some breath mints.

WhiteBoyBob said...

Astrology bites the big one. It gives people false hope and is evil I tells ya. Evil!

Steelers have just got another touchdown against the Packers. It's now 20-10.

Sorry.

Brookelina said...

Bite me Bob. Not only are the Packers losing - yet again - but I can barely even see the game through all the fuzz on my screen. Still no cable since Wilma. Bitch.

Calzone said...

Come on over. I've got flat screen, and some hot pockets in the oven baby.

The real me said...

Throw off the pjs, comb your hair and for goddess' sake... brush your teeth!

You never know where Viggo might be lurking!

Brookelina said...

Cal - oh baby, that's the best offer I've had in minutes.

TRM - comb my hair? Really?

MoDigli said...

So, wait a second.... does this fuzzy tv with no cable mean that you are BACK in Fla? And have the schools reopened and all that?!

ducklet said...

i'm no psycho, nor am I an analyst, but i'm willing to bet your 'secret crush' would be willing to fly out to florida if you'd actually READ HIS POSTS.

Brookelina said...

MoMo - yes, I'm back in Fla-da. I flew back Thursday morning after a call from my neighbor informing me that power was back on in my building. It was good timing actually, as an hour after I walked in the door my team leader called and said they were bringing in teachers on Friday for a planning day. School starts tomorrow - and I'm actually a little nervous - it's like starting all over again! I'll also have to leave about an hour early since there are still so many traffic lights out. OY! Get me back to Jersey!!!

Brando - but, but, but.....you're so.....intimdating.....

Bill said...

Hi ... This is Viggo. I'm hangin' with Bill here in Canada and he told me about this blogger babe named Brooke so I thought I'd stick my head in and take a look.

Did any of you see me in Hidalgo? I thought I was pretty cool in Hidalgo, though I was also pretty cool in that first Lord of the Rings thing. But that Peter Jackson guy? He's a little too geeky for my tastes. I mean, now he's doing monkey movies. What's with that? I mean, get a haircut and spend your money wisely, guy.

Still, he's pretty good with a camera. But Hidalgo? I thought that Arabic chick was pretty hot - you know, the one that played Omar Shariff's daughter? (I think she was actually English - but I don't know. Does Zuleikha Robinson sound English to you?)

Anyway ... I did that David what's his name movie about "The History of Violence" because my agent said it would be good for my career to do an "important" movie. I mean, it's not anything I'd pay money to go see, but there was a pay check at the end of it so, what the hell?

What I really want to do is an Adam Sandler movie where we barf and hit on hot chicks.

Like Brooke! Look at me here, at Babbling Brooke! It's just like Bill said, you go there and you babble! Brooke, are you as hot as Bill says? He also says there's a guy named Neil I may have to beat up. I don't know if I can - my agent has hard rules about what I can do. like violence. And I'm stuck in Canada making a movie about ... well, I don't know what it's about. But in Canada, that's okay. Movies don't have to make sense here as long as someone says, "Eh?" and drinks beer.

Wow. This Internet is the coolest thing. btw ... my horoscope says I will have a hot encounter with someone from Florida - but not if she's moved to Jersey! I didn't understand that - do you know what that means?

Neil said...

As a professional astrologer, I was keenly interested in this sentence:

"If this were Bingo, you'd want to get as many cards going as humanly possible."

I think what the stars are telling you is to go over to the Boca Raton Senior Home, play some Bingo with some of the seniors, flirt with the 99-year old Martin Goldfarb, marry him and make him a happy man for the remaining three months of his life, take the Goldfarb inheritance, move to California, and support me for the rest of your life -- so I will do nothing else other than blog and kiss your feet.

Gordy said...

I have declared my undying love at least once!

Seriously though, did it work out to be that good a day.

You really like that horoscope stuff then?!

Brookelina said...

Bill - Viggo would never say "Like Brooke!" Otherwise you totally had me fooled.

Neil - that actually sounds like a damn good plan. I wouldn't even have to have sex with him. Each night I could just fill him up with Ambien - and then in the morning - smile at him and purr, "You were fabulous!"

Gordy - see above. If the cop was supposed to be my great love, it may have been the shortest relationship in (my) history.