Thursday, November 03, 2005

Howdja get here?

I am continually fascinated with how people come upon my blog through web searches. Back in July I posted Finding Brooke, and now I am at it again, using my Site Meter to entertain others - and myself. But it's not just fun to see how they found my blog, it's also quite a hoot to see where these people come from. Since my NeoCounter refuses to show me the various countries of origin of my readers anymore (unless I pay them - damn extortionists!) I now completely rely on my Site Meter for this information.

Here are some of the interesting places that have shown up on my meter:

  • Mississippi State University
  • Clover Park Technical College
  • Penn State University

Clearly I am a big hit with the college crowd!

  • Sunnyvale California - isn't that where Buffy is from?
  • Unknown Country - what the hell is that? Or rather, where the hell is that?
  • Canberra Australia - John Howard, is that you again!
  • Brunei - oh where oh where has my sultan gone?
  • Saudi Arabia - they were searching for big tits, how disappointing for them
  • Mexico - hmmmm *

And here are some of the interesting searches that have brought people here:

  • Large FFF tits - clearly not mine.
  • Toni needs - from comments.
  • Todd needs - again from comments.
  • Accidental flash - yeah, I remember that one.
  • Wonker - wonder if they expected to read about an Amsterdamn hooker?
  • Are Brooke Burke's tits - are they what? Alive? Kosher? Available for parties?

The top three searches that seem to bring my blog up the most often are:

  • Brooke
  • Maloney's of Margate
  • Loser

Those three bullets pretty much say it all. How sad for me.

And last, my absolute favorite search that has led to my blog so far is:

  • Who is Viggo's girlfriend? - woohoo!!!!!

* Hey, searcher from Mexico who used my whole name to find his way here! Yes, you! If you are who I think you are, please leave a comment with an email address.


Neil said...

What is your full name? And phone number?

Lo Lo Lova said...

I think you left a comment on my blog originally? I don't remember. All I know is that Melanie started blogging and introduced me to the world of free therapy. She was the only person I knew who blogged. Until I met all of you fine people!

Brookelina said...

Neil - Brooke Burkestits. 900-976-TITS

Lo Lo - I think we found each other through mutual anal retentiveness. Your last post proved to me once and for all that you are my idol.

Egan said...

Clover Park Technical College - this is near my hood just outside of good old Tacoma, WA. If this person pesters you, let me know and I will put out a hit.

ducklet said...

oh that would be me on the Clover Park. please make sure it's a gentle hit, since i bruise.

Brookelina said...

Egan - yeah baby! Sic em!

Brando - so it's YOU then. That's cool. Hey you two should go out for coffee. By the way Brando - one of my friends (not a blogger)thinks you are cute.

ducklet said...

really? well, i have to admit that the photo is probably a little misleading. in real life, i'm a glasses-wearing geek. but i'm wicked funny. if'n by funny you mean i can recite all the state capitals.

Brookelina said...

Egan thinks you are cute too. Do you speak French? I think he wants to have coffee and croissants with you.

Egan said...

Brandon - Olympia, go! Helena, Bismarck, Columbia. Oh shit this could get old fast. Glasses make me feel smart and funny. Wear a baseball cap backwards and try to look smart. It just doesn't work so well.

ducklet said...

You may not believe this, but my B.A. is in French. Vraiment! Vous ne me croyez pas? Je m'en fiche!

Girl With An Alibi said...

I found you through Jacob. Who I found throught the Next blog button.

Calzone said...

Brando..Brooke is talking about me. I can't sleep at night. All I can think about is you.

Calzone said...

Although I'm hooked on Morphine. That doesn't help my head much either. Call me dude.

Brookelina said...

I sense a new couple in blogadoon. I look forward to being the best (wo)man and maid of honor at the wedding.

Girl - I found you through Jacob too. In Jacob We Trust.

Calzone - I think Egan got him first. Sorry. I tried.

Egan said...

Et je parle français M. Dragon. Tu peux sucer ma bite!

Egan said...

Your mother is hampster!

Brookelina said...


Melliferous Pants said...

Hamsters smell like pee pee.

darth said...


yournamehere said...

You left a comment on my blog and I quickly responded because you were showin' the cleavage in your profile pic. Allow me to turn the tables: How did you find my blog? Lose a bet with God?

Egan said...

I should have checked that one Brooke. Damn New Hampshire!

For those playing along, Concord is the capital of NH.

yournamehere said...

Hamsters smell like Richard Gere's asshole.

Jaxe said...

Darn it, I'm busted. I searched LOSER on Google and ended up here.... sheeeesh.. I already knew that!!! ;-)

Hi Brookie, miss heckling ya *hug*

Brookelina said...

Pants - that was ....deep.

Darth - oooooh...good one!

YNH - I think I found yours like I did most - followed the links from other blogs. But I know you were one of the first blogs I ever commented on, so in a way you knew me when I was still a virgin.

Egan - gotcha! At least you spelled Concord right.

Todd - how do you know what Richard Gere's asshole smells like?

Brookelina said...

So YOU are the one that keeps searching for loser!
Ooooh...hugs from Jaxe. There are going to be many jealous women in the blogosphere.

Girls...have you seen his abs?

Oh, and you wouldn't miss me so much if I were on your bloglist Mr Superstar.

Übermilf said...

I think we had many mutual blogger friends, like Jacob.

Or maybe it was Kizmet.

Monkey said...

I saw you on Her Milfesty's blog, but I was intimidated by you. Then you commented on Calzone's blog, and I realized you were just insane so I came here.

Brookelina said...

Ubie - we definitely met through Jacob's blog. And I think I found half my bloglist through you. Such good taste you have.

Monkey - intimidated by me??? Why in the world would anyone be intimidated by a dork like me? That may be the funniest thing you have ever said. Except for the thing you said about the fish wriggling up your hoo hah....that still puts me into fits of giggles.

Calzone said...

Well..I think what Monkey meant was is you seem totally out of your head.

The real me said...

On peut parler en français si vous le voulez...

Egan said...

Mon dieu, mon café est froid. Il y a quelqu'un qui parle français? J'ai de la chance. Et alors, maintenant je peux branler. La vie est bonne.


Hello, you look great today. How is your mother? She's lucky to have you as a daughter. No, I would never say anything about masturbating. Are you kidding me? Things couldn't be better.

Loz said...

brookalina, i found you because you commented on my blog and when i came to read yours you were so very, very funny.

big ups for the john howard mention, he did say during an address to the nation the other night that we all must endeavour to read more Brooke.

gone said...

I'm not sure how I found you. All that pot resin clogs my neural pathways and my memory is pretty bad. Maybe you know.

It's nice to know my blog serves a purpose as some sort of portal connecting the most creative people I know and look up to around here. Y'all are the best.

Lo Lo Lova said...

I'm your Idol, Brooke? Oh my God, I'm crying right now. I'm so touched!

You always make me feel normal, and for that, I will be ever grateful!!

My sister in Cleanliness, I love ya!

MoDigli said...

this is funny... I should go do the same thing!
...And I'm STILL p*ssed off about that damn neocounter! How DARE he start making us pay!

Monkey said...

That's not at all what I meant Calzone! *THWAP*

Intimidated because you were smart and witty, and smart and witty people scare me, although I admire them greatly. Ubie intimidated me also. So did Egan, Ms. Pants and YHN. All of my favorite people intimidate me at first. Seems to be something I should work out in therapy.

And the fish in my hoo hah was rather frightening.

Egan said...

Monkey, I can't believe I intimidated you. That must have been a first. Was it the monkey thing?

Monkey therapy is a good thing. May solve some of the hoo hah concerns you have. No matter what you do, don't stand out in the middle of the road late at night. We would be sad.

Übermilf said...

Egan, I'm sorry your coffee was cold.

Many people speak French.

Yes, life IS good.

I've got a bad song in my head. I'll deposit it here to see if that makes it go away.

"She ran calling WIIIIIIIILDFIIIIRE!! She ran calling WIIIIIIIIILDFIIIIRE!! She ran calling WiiIIIiildFIIIIiiRE!

Egan said...

Uber - why did you have to bust my shoddy translation work? Did you at least learn one new verb from my comment? Branler?

Übermilf said...

I didn't understand what you were shaking.

Now, thanks to you, I have that song stuck in my head again.

"...Wiiiiiiiiiiiildfiiiiiire. Wiiiiiiildfiiiiiire."

Brookelina said...

Calzone - what do you know anyway? I mean really, you sit in the middle of the road for fun.

TRM and Egan - parlez vous mahama hama.

Loz - John Howard is definitely stalking me. I told him he could have me for first class tickets to Sydney and permanent residency visa.

Jacob - I believe Ubie and I found you at the same time and decided to love you and keep you and call you George. But now we call you Jacob, cause that's your real name, and we hate the other guy named George.

Lo Lo - anyone who gets a phone call complaining that her house is too clean is a goddess in my eyes. I worship at your Lemon Pledged shrine.

MoMo - I miss my flags!!! And my Brunei fan! Damn neo man, I say we kill him!

Brookelina said...

Monkey - Ubie intimidated me too. In fact, she still does. I think we are all intimidated by intelligent and witty writing, it's like, "ooooh...I want them to like my stuff cause I like their stuff!"
So if you must know, you intimidate me too, cause your writing is funnier than anything I could ever possibly attempt.

Egan - you must read Monkey's post about the boat, the fish and the hoo hah. It just doesn't get any better that that.

Ubie - I KNEW he said his coffee was cold. It's been years since I spoke any French but I know my coffee phrases!
Damn Wildfire. I told you, always sing Hey Jude when a bad song is in your head. It obliterates every song ever written, and then at least you have a good song in your head.

Egan - shake shake shake....shake your booty. Dammit. Hey Juuuuude.....

Egan said...

La main gauche à dit "bonjour"

Neil said...

I remember exactly how I found this blog.

I was in my room watching "Alias" and thinking to myself, "Boy, Jennifer Garner is sort of cute, but she's already taken. Is there anyone else other there who is the "perfect woman"?

Suddenly an angel of mercy appeared and said, "Neil, go to this blog."

"Babbling Brooke?" I asked. "She doesn't sound so great -- "babbling"?. Who wants a chick that talks on and on and on."

"Trust me," said the angel. She may talk way talk much, but she's a great cook and amazing in the sack."

"I'm in!" I shouted.

And I've been reading you ever since.

Egan said...

I should probably answer your question. I found you off of Todd's blog.

Kris said...

Neil is starting to scare me.

I've heard about his winter place in Mexico . . .

Brookelina said...

Neil - that's pretty much how I've been described in the past. Talkative, great cook, hot in the sack. It's truly a wonder that some sap hasn't snapped me up by now.

Egan - I didn't even really intend for people to answer that question. It just sort of worked out that way. But thanks. Now go fetch me some coffee.

Kris - Neil is going a bit stalker on me. But the nice Jewish boy in him keeps me safe. As for the Mexico siting - I think I figured out who that was and I'm not concerned. I have mace.

Gregg said...

I got her through Neil's site. I am still trying to figure out how I found Neil.

Calzone said...

I found you because you came to my blog and begged me to do a threesome with you and Anthony. You said "it's not me, he's the one into it." Then when I came over you guys just watched me dust your apartment in a maid outfit and you didn't even give me my 20 dollars.

Brookelina said...

Gregg - only the best from Neil!

Calzone - you did a lousy job with the cleaning, but thanks for the feather duster. What are you doing next Tuesday?

yournamehere said...

This post inspired me to go through my archives. My Louisville friends and blogger friends of theirs responded to my first few weeks of posts. Dena from nonvocabulum was the first "stranger" to post a comment on my blog, followed by Os (who never comments on my blog anymore), Egan, Cincysundevil (who disappeared completely), Ruben, Modigili (who doesn't visit me much either, sadly), and Katarina. Right after that first wave, Brooke came along; and although she pisses me off by having a much better blog than mine, I still love her.

I'm intimidated by no one in the blogworld, by everyone in the real world.

Wow, this comment is totally self serving, so feel free to delete it. It's just that I'm feeling very nostalgic right now.

Marel Lecone said...

I'm wanting to do a little post about this also. Two things in particular keep bringing people by . . . light switch and the Picasso prints that I have on my site. Weird, right? :) Great post!

MoDigli said...

Brooke ~ Fantastic idea! Let's kill Neo! And we can do it Dixie Chics style, like that video for that song "Earl"!!!

"Neo had to die! La-lala-la-la-laaaaaa!" ... or something like that!

I'm not really a dixie chics fan, but that song would be PERFECT! :)

MoDigli said...

YNH ~ I still read you! I count you as one of my founding blogfriends, even if I don't always comment!

yeah, and where DID cincy go? He just went POOF!

Brookelina said...

Todd - you are so full of it, but I appreciate the compliment. And I seem to be completely self-serving as well today. Every comment I have made on other blogs has been all about ME! Then again, I guess that's what we all do.

Marel - it's better than "big tits" and "anal."

MoMo - I don't know that song as I refuse to listen to country music. However, if you say it's appropriate, then I know it is. I trust you that implicitly.
Just yesterday I was clearing out my blogroll of dead blogs and those that don't reciprocate(again, self-serving, but it's my blogroll and I'll include who I want) and I felt very sad letting go of the Cincy link. Let's hope he left the blogworld for good reasons.

Neil said...

Mom: "Neil, have you become a stalker online?"

Neil: "Yes, Mom. Of Brooke."

Mom: "That's terrible. Is she at least Jewish?"

Neil: "Yes, she is."

Mom: "Well, thank god! At least your stalking a nice Jewish girl for a change!"

Neil: "I actually think she's a "bad, really bad" Jewish girl. That's what I like about her."

Mom: "At least she's Jewish. Can she cook and is she good in the sack?"

Neil: "You better believe it!"

Mom: "So, why isn't she married?"

Neil: "She talks too much and she's sitting around waiting for this Viggo to call."

Mom: "Viggo? That doesn't sound Jewish?"

Anthony said...

I'm pretty sure I found you through Ubie. Or maybe you found me. I'm not sure.

It's been a while since I used my sitemeter to check how people have found me. Nothing beats all the hits I got from searches of "cumswallower".

Damien said...

hey hey Brookster, 'the girl friend of Viggos' you've got to be happy with that, you know you need a site meter that sends an instant alarm if Viggo comes here, hmmm I don't know (My promise to you Brooke Viggo shall never be mocked at my site - unless he breaks you heart - then his ass is mine).

Ruben said...

Brooke it's because you're so damned fabulous. Just accept it.

Brookelina said...

Neil - you're killing me. Absolutely killing me. LOL

Anthony - I just googled cumswallower in your honor. You were number 4. You should be very proud.

Damien - Viggo is extremely liberal, so there is a possibility he will come upon YOUR blog one of these days. If so, please direct him over here. And make sure to tell him I'm good in the sack. Thank you.

Ruben - it takes one to know one, your fabulousness.

Melliferous Pants said...

I am shocked and horified at the number of "embarrassing diaper stories" search hits I receive.

Anthony said...

Oh no! I've fallen 3 spots...

Brookelina said...

Pants - well, your diaper story - even thought it wasn't yours but a "friend's" - was pretty damn horrifying.

Anthony - we must rebuild you! I'm on my way to your blog now!

Jill said...

How I got here: you and brando were exchanging in some suggestive repartee on his blog when someone mentioned Viggo. Immediately I had to see who my competition was.

Anthony said...

I fear I'll never be back on top for there seems to now be a

Jo said...

I came here cuz you left a comment on MyBlogCrush's site and I had to come and see just WHO IN THE HELL YOU THINK YOU ARE writing to MY blogcrush!! LMAO... so just kidding... you said you liked being Galadriel cuz you liked having an army of worshippers. And I thought, "Now THAT'S my kind of girl!"

Brookelina said...

Apparently I'm in competition and I didn't even know it!

Jill - get in line behind me, the real me, Melanie, and many others I'm sure.

Anthony - oh my God there is! Not that I looked....I'm just taking your word for it...of course.

Jo - thanks for coming by. You should know that I'm a little afraid of you. However, there is no need to worry, I'm old enough to be your blogcrush's teenage unwed mother.

Evil Petting Zoo said...

Ha! I live near Clover Park Technical College.

Brookelina said...

PEZ - cool! Then you can chaperone Brando's date with Egan. (and take pictures...and email them to me so I can post them on my blog....MWAHAHAHA!)

Egan said...

Zare will be no need fo zee photos. We are only loverz of zee French language, not each uzzer. Merci.

Jaxe said...

Oh, and you wouldn't miss me so much if I were on your bloglist Mr Superstar.

I so rock. I added you woohoo! I'm smaaaaaaaart ;-) There, anything else, Princess *smirk*

Be good!


Marisa said...

I'm in the same boat as Gregg. I got here through Neil, but I can't for the life of me figure out how I found Neil's site. But I'm glad I did.

Brookelina said...

Egan - I'm sorry. But that sounded so very gay.

Jaxe - yes, go make me a sandwich.

Marisa - thanks for stopping by! Come back soon. :)