Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Marriage According to Kids

I believe this has gone around and around the internets, but that doesn't mean I can't post it. Considering I spend my days with kids, and I'm not married, I felt this was a very topical post for me. And it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm in the midst of a holiday sugar coma and can't think of a coherent thing to say.
Shut up.


HOW YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry, God decides it all and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
Freddie, age 6

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.
Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.
Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
Theodore, age 8

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
Ricky, age 10

39 comments:

Monkey said...

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
Freddie, age 6


Freddie is wise beyond his years.

yournamehere said...

Will Howard marry the first girl he kisses? Poor bastard.

Brookelina said...

I love you guys.

Hypersonic said...

Out of the mouths of babes...

Übermilf said...

I think my name may be in the dead column.

Melissa said...

I've been on a date or two that made me want to hide and call the dead columns.

Oh, and young Ricky is wise beyond his years.

Nick said...

Todd - Howard and I have a lot in common. Don't judge me.

Also, some trucks are very pretty.

Callie said...

*laughs* The one about telling the wife she looks good even if she looks like a truck... LOL

CLASSIC
love callie

V-Grrrl said...

My favorite? Strangers discovering a couple is married when they see them yelling at the same kids.

Sad but true.

I hadn't seen this on the 'net and it's very funny. Thanks for sharing.

The real me said...

Nice giggles for a the day after-the day after Christmas morning.

Flounder said...

We boys do need someone to clean up after us.

The Dummy said...

It never ceases to make me smile when I come across this. Hope you had a great Christmas, Brooke. Have a great New Year and find lots of boys to kiss at midnight!

Cincysundevil said...

Well, this cleared up why my love life is non-existent. No girls will kiss me because I'm not rich.

Nick said...

Flounder totally denigrated women. Someone kick his ass.

Johnny Pipewrench said...

Brooke,

Happy Holiday's!
I like what Theodore had to say!
There's a serial killer
in the making!
Ten years from now....
Theo- "It puts the puppy in the basket!"
"It puts the lotion on it's skin!"

Johnny Pipewrench said...

Brooke,

Happy Holiday's!
I like what Theodore had to say!
There's a serial killer
in the making!
Ten years from now....
Theo- "It puts the puppy in the basket!"
"It puts the lotion on it's skin!"

Johnny Pipewrench said...

Brooke,

Happy Holiday's!
I like what Theodore had to say!
There's a serial killer
in the making!
Ten years from now....
Theo- "It puts the puppy in the basket!"
"It puts the lotion on it's skin!"

Johnny Pipewrench said...

Sorry, I need to stop smoking weed.

Sysm said...

I have got to stop introducing the Sysmstress as "my first wife."

matty said...

Wow -- That Freddie is one smart cookie! Color me impressed!!!!

Bill said...

"Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." (Lynette, age 8)

So please, pleasekeep listening. One day I'll say something SO interesting to say and you'll be so glad you heard it.

Really.

Bill said...

I may even learn to proof my comments.

Toby said...

Shut up. I work with college kids evey day. Luckily I get to pick and choose. Most are dumb, most are sick, fielding potential employees every semester is so hard. I wish for you to step up and send me some good prospects.

Kiss

ChickyBabe said...

Ricky must have heard it from his father, who probably looks like a truck!

Callie said...

*Laughs at Johnny Pipewrench comment*


callie

Lo Lo Lova said...

Take it from Kirsten, Brookie:
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry, God decides it all and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

Spinning Girl said...

This just makes me happy.

Toby said...

How much do you really know

Toby said...

I'll shut up

Hypersonic said...

Happy New Year Miss Wose!

Tits McGee said...

Pam, age 7 is a genius.

Chuck said...

I love your blog. It's very infomative about absolutely funny.We need more blogs on absolutely funny. I really love making comments on blogs about absolutely funny.

TrueJerseyGirl said...

Always funny to read these!!!

Egan said...

I see why Bill Cosby loved interviewing kids about Jello and many other things. Kids really do have a unique perspective on life.

Miss Browneyedgirlie said...

I think the first time I read this was in college.

I thought it was funny then, hilarious now.

What about little Theodore? Should 8 year olds even know about sex, or am I showing my age questioning that? Or rather, shock at the speed that kids seem to be growing up these days.

A recent conversation among friends in one of my grad school classes centered around 5th and 6th graders getting pregnant!

Janet said...

I hadn't seen this anywhere else on the web (maybe I'm visiting the wrong sites...) thanks for sharing.

There would certainly be a lot of kids to explain...

TherapyDoc said...

Yeah, but what do kids know.

TherapyDoc said...

Yeah, but what do kids know.

Shawn said...

Oh my god that was some funny stuff. Kids can say some hilarious things.

If my nephew told a girl she looked like a truck, he would probably mean it as a huge compliment. If he called her a monster truck, it would probably be love.