Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Power of Pecs

Excerpts from an interesting chat I had yesterday with another blogger.

him: By the way, is that photo of you in your last post?
me: Which one?
him: The blurry one.
me: Are you kidding? That's him, the guy I was writing about.
him: That's a man?
me: Yes, how is that looking like a woman?
him: Geez, I was getting turned on by a man.
me: Interesting, have you considered that you might be a little gay?
him: I saw the longish hair…wow, so all that trying to unblur it in Photoshop was a waste of my time.
me: You could have just asked, I'd have sent you the original picture. Want it?
him: Sure. I mean no. I mean...ok...he does seem hot.

send unblurry picture of ex

him: Wow, that's some bod he has.
me: Yep.
him: I see you in a bra...
me: It's a bikini.
him: OK....ummm...got any more?
me: Of him? Sure, anything to help clear up the issue of your increasingly confusing sexuality.

send picture of ex and me together


him: The two of you are like in a fashion shoot.
me: That’s sweet.
him: Good looking guys like that are usually terrible in bed, though...
me: Yeah that's true …sometimes. Not in this case though.
him: Figures.
me: But he's straight, so don't get your hopes up.

him: Hey, he's feeling you up in that photo!!!
me: Jealous?
him: Yes!
me: Of me or him? Because really...you were totally turned on by a blurry picture of him.
him: I could have sworn it was you! It was mistaken identity.
me: This is clearly sending you into a homosexual panic.
him: No way. I would be a good gay. I love musicals, and except for the whole having sex with men thing... I could totally be mistaken for gay.
me: Admit it...you wanted to touch his chest.
him: Only to see if he has pec implants!

me: I think you should blog about how you fell for a blurry picture of my ex boyfriend.
him: Can I also post that you are always asking me to come to Florida and sleep with you, but I always say no, to be loyal to my woman...
me: Sure.
him: Sure?
me: You want to do that instead of admitting you were turned on by my ex? Be my guest. We both know the real truth.

----------------------------

** Added note: Oh! Be sure to read his post about our chat here. And you all thought you were so smart!

51 comments:

Nick said...

It's cool man, no one cares that you're gay.

miss kendra said...

homosexual panic!

jiggs said...

Ya egan. listen to nick. no one cares that you're gay.

Egan said...

Shit, I didn't give you permission to publish this IM conversation Brooke. Crap, I've been "outed" on your blog. My career will be in the tank in no time.

Übermilf said...

Egan has a career?

Damien said...

Gay this gay that,
Gay smay,

Egan said...

Ubie, yes I have a "career". I can't go into detail about what it involves though.

Egan said...

Ubie, yes I have a "career". I can't go into detail about what it involves though.

The real me said...

I KNEW it was Egan without you even mentioning his name...

yournamehere said...

I'm conflicted. I want to have long IM conversations with the lovely and talented Brooke, but I don't want my sexual preference questioned in subsequent posts.

Sysm said...

My only sexual preference is, "yes, please."

Nick said...

Hey Brooke, remember earlier when I was saying I knew who it was and you wouldn't tell me? I was right!

Bill said...

I don't care who's gay or who is IMing whom ... what's with the power of pecs stuff? I've never had pecs so I've always been curious about them. It seems they require a lot of disagreeable activity to maintain. Is it worth the effort? I'm sure it probably seemed that way when I was 20. But now? ... I dunno. Surely there's something compelling about a skinny man with a beer belly? (I'm looking for afformation here ...)

Jill said...

Yeah, I knew that was Egan, too. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who tries to convince him to come to the east coast. But it's only because I want to teach him a thing or two. ;)

ChickyBabe said...

I never doubted for one sec it was a him!

Mone said...

Well, if he thinks he is not gay lets call him bi. That makes for a nice threesome... or more.

~d said...

I knew/thought it was a dude-but I got to holla at Mone, there-who cares?!

Flounder said...

Like who didn't know Egan was gay?

Duh.

Melliferous Pants said...

This IM exchange reeks of Egan.

Blonde Vigilante said...

You know, before I read the posts...I knew it was Egan as well. Very "Egan style" IMing. Besides, what other blogger would you really trust with those pictures besides the "6 foot Vanilla". Seriously?

Brookelina said...

This is fucking hilarious.

Neil said...

Egan, I think it's cool that you've come out. You shouldn't be ashamed. Show the pride!

Thérèse said...

So why didn't you just write "Egan" and save us all the 0.2 seconds it took to figure it out?

I laughed pretty hard at this. Just, you know. As a PS.

Karen Little said...

You know, I just loaded this post at work, and the guy looking over my shoulder said 'whoa... hot' (and he's supposdly straight). So, guy, you're not alone.

Sizzle said...

i love that "homosexual panic" part. you two should go on the road. :)

sleepydog said...

Egan,

'Cuz the dudes gotta stick together around here I had a sympathy homosexual panic so you wouldn't feel so all alone.

Solidarity, yo.

Rrramone said...

First that is really funny. Second, how could he not tell that was a dude?? :-)

Egan said...

It's all good, I'm secure in my femininity. So confident I declared it twice on this blog. Last night I watched Failure to Launch and boy is that Matthew McConaughey boy charming.

People, I will save coming out of the closet for another day. I will bust out in grand style, maybe in a pink Speedo. Brooke, let's IM again today okay?

Egan said...

Color Me Gayy

Brookelina said...

Seriously, this just keeps getting better and better.

Übermilf said...

Why is everyone picking on Egan? Except me, of course.

I have a license to pick on people.

Egan said...

Two words Ubie: blogger payback

sleepydog said...

Hey, I went totally (Sympathetically) gay for Egan, so you can hardly say that I was picking on him....

Think Frustrated said...

Neil Kramer is such a gay.

Egan is such a closet case.

Unforunately for all the hot dudes with nice chests and long hair out there, I'm not gay, nor have I ever mistakenly thought some dude was hot. Except for that Sinead O'Connor. He's kinda cute.

sleepydog said...

I dunno....The Nelson Brothers are kind of pretty, especially Gunnar.....

Egan said...

Think Frustrated, you like that when I go down on you in the back of the movie theatre eh? The smile on your face said it all.

Brookelina said...

Well this is going in a very interesting direction. Continue, boys. I'm going to get more comfortable.

matty said...

...i'm always in a homosexual panic and i've been out since i was 16/17 years old.

but you're ex looks cute. ...in a blurry kind of fast motion way.

I still say you have the best profile shot out here, tho. I love that little cartoon. I wish I had one of me that cool.

No one has ever come out to me on my blog...

oh no --- i am starting to panic. homosexually.

Neil said...

Does anyone else intend to see Barbara Steisand when she goes on tour later this year?

MoDigli said...

this is totally unrelated to Neil's recent "outing" - but Brooke, I have to ask you if you'll be attending this former boyfriend's birthday party tomorrow night? ;)

Bill said...

I tried being gay once. But I was outed when exposed breasts and wiggly hips kept giving me erections.

But I wish I was gay! They're much more pleasant to one another and they keep neater digs - not that I want to stereotype anyone.

Bill said...

btw ... gay or straight, I DO NOT want to see Egan in a speedo.

Egan said...

That's too bad Bill, I have a full size autographed poster to hang above your waterbed. Your loss I guess.

Übermilf said...

I'll take it, Egan.

Egan said...

... and sold! to Ubie, for a "favor" to be redeemed later.

Fitèna said...

LMAO!
This is priceless!
I thought it was you too Brooke! I guess its the "pose".

Egan, I'd been wondering why you ipod socks are pink... lol! (or is it purple?)

Fitèna

Anita said...

You people are all 'tards. This person said they were from Florida - Egan lives in Seattle where his wife works for a large Seattle-based coffe company. Christ. Am I the only person who actually reads posts?

Except yours Brooke. I don't read yours.

Anita said...

coffee. Not coffe. DAMN THE SPELLING INSECURITIES THAT MADE ME POST AGAIN JUST FOR THAT!

Thérèse said...

Anita, we all know that it's a ruse of Egan's to cast suspicion elsewhere.

Obviously, it didn't even almost work.

Egan said...

Fitena, Anita, and Brooke... you're all awesome. I love you all, in a non-threatening way of course.

Anita, so happy you picked up on the location thing. It's good to know somebody reads Brooke's posts. Ha, I'm commenting on this old post to avoid reading the newest one. Shame on me.

Jill said...

I didn't even think of Neil!

But let me go on the record and say I DO in fact invite Egan to the east coast often.