Thursday, July 27, 2006

Brooke-ology

Grub-ology:

  • What is your salad dressing of choice?
    I make the best Caesar dressing ever! But since it's too much trouble to make and is about a bazillion calories, I stick to extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
  • What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
    Cheeburger Cheeburger
  • What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
    The Rockpool
  • On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
    I used to be a waitress, so I zealously overtip - much to the annoyance of all who dine with me.
  • What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
    Pasta. Any kind, any shape, anytime.
  • Name three foods you detest above all others.
    Okra. Veal. Most of the cafeteria meals at school.
  • What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?
    Depends on who is buying.
  • What are your pizza toppings of choice?
    Anything but anchovies. Or pineapple. Or okra.
  • What do you like to put on your toast?
    Buttah
  • What is your favorite type of gum?
    Sugarfree Orbit Bubblemint

Tech-ology:

  • Number of contacts in your cell phone?
    Don't know, don't care.
  • Number of contacts in your e-mail address book?
    See answer to cell phone question.
  • What is your wallpaper on your computer?
    Viggo.
  • What is your screensaver on your computer?
    I don't have one. They drive me nuts.
  • Are there naked pictures saved on your computer?
    Not of me.
  • How many land line phones do you have in your house?
    1
  • How many televisions are in your house?
    2
  • What kitchen appliance do you use the least?
    My KitchenAid mixer is very lonely these days. But I still love it so.
  • What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most?
    Whatever isn't playing a commercial.
  • How many sex toys do you own that require batteries?
    I'm not sure I understand the question.

Bi-ology:

  • What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?
    My smile.
  • Are you right handed or left handed?
    Right.
  • Do you like your smile?
    I have already answered this question.
  • Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
    Just some teeth that refused to come out on their own.
  • Would you like to?
    I would like to have the majority of my ass removed.
  • Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom?
    Of course, that's where I keep all the good magazines.
  • Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
  • Smell, for sure. Listen! Do you smell something?
  • When was the last time you had a cavity?
    Not since I was about seven. Don't jinx me! Dammit! I better go floss...
  • What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
    My fat ass off the couch on a daily basis.
  • Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
    Yes, once when riding my bike and some jerk-off going the wrong way actually shoved me out of the way. Head, meet the pavement. Pavement, meet Brooke's head.

Misc-ology:

  • If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
    Who writes a question like this?? I'll tell you who!! Satan!
  • If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
    Fred
  • How do you express your artistic side?
    Writing, decorating, playing the flute, creating activities for my students, staring off into space.
  • What color do you think you look best in?
    Red
  • How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
    I could last quite a while. I'm easily amused and play well with others.
  • Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
    Does strawberry body butter count?
  • If we weren'’t bound by society'’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?
    Satan!! Satan wrote this!!
  • How often do you go to church?
    Not very...
  • Have you ever saved someone's life?
    I have been told that my cooking has lifesaving qualities.
  • Has someone ever saved yours?
    Yes, he did.

Dare-ology:
*For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.
**Added note: being that I desperately want to own my own home someday, you will notice the $100,000 figure being thrown around a bit here. That's a decent down payment. I'll do a lot of things for that down payment.

  • Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
    Hell yeah!
  • Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
    Hell yeah!
  • Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000?
    Depends on who it is and what exactly I am required to do. For $100,000 I'll do it with no questions asked.
  • Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
    Hell no!
  • Would you never blog again for $50,000?
    Hmmm. Make it $250,000. Why that number? See answer below.
  • Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
    Nobody is going to pay me that kind of money to pose nude. But if someone did, I would say no. That's not enough to live on forever, and most boards of education frown on their teachers posing nude.
  • Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
    Make it $100,000.
  • Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
    Only if I get to pick the person.
  • Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
    Make it $100,000.
  • Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
    Make it $100,000.
Thank you Ms Sizzle! Now if I could find someone to pay me for all these things, I'd finally be in my dream home.

24 comments:

Nick said...

It's great that you've always got original content prepared everyday. I don't know how you manage to do it.

Brookelina said...

I thought about letting everyone on my blogroll take over so I could just sit around looking for completely inane questions for people to answer, but that's already been done.

Anita said...

Fred, huh? Would your blog then be "The babbling Fred" or would you change it to "The Philandering Fred" or "The (insert F-word here) Fred?"

Egan said...

Classic post. I love it. Hey, what is the average tip you leave? I tend to tip right around 20%. If service is pretty shitty, 15%. Just wondering.

kapgar said...

Ahhhhh!! You're a Ghostbusters girl! I love you, love you, love you!

Brookelina said...

Anita - maybe if I had been named Fred I'd have had enough sense to not put my name on my blog.

Egan - I leave at least 20% unless the service was so bad the server deserves a beating. If it's better than average I'll leave 25-30%.

Kapgar - I wondered if anyone would catch that!! Well done!

Anita said...

I used to wait tables too. Do I get a gold star?

I'm with you on the overtipping. I'm serious about it, too. If I go out with someone for the first time (friends) and they don't tip well I immediately confront them. Stay at home or eat fast food if you can't afford the tip, bastard.

Brooke is your real name? Oh you're in deep shit now. Wait till I call the board of ed and tell them about your dream.

Phain said...

I would totally shave my head and go for a full body waxing for $5k - i'm pretty good like that about silly dares.

Brookelina said...

Anita - don't even joke about that shit.

Le Chat - I'm just looking to push up the price to get my house. I wouldn't be as upset about the hair as I would the eyebrows.

Egan said...

I'm in the overtipping camp too. It's great to hear there are others out there. I know what it's like to be on the other side of the counter. Not easy work by any means.

Lo Lo Lova said...

Always nice to learn new things about you, Brooke.

Damnit, now I have to work on this. ARGH.

Egan said...

I have some crap Paula Abdul song stuck in my head. I blame the title of this post.

yournamehere said...

C'mon, give Nick a break. He's on vacation, and blogging can be so taxing.

Übermilf said...

I'm back from Wisconsin. I brought cheese.

Brookelina said...

Egan - nothing like being a tray wench to humble you for life.

Lo Lo - glad to be of service. Can't wait to see yours.

Egan - don't blame me for your crappy taste in music.

Todd - I know, it's all so very...difficult.

Ubie - well it's about time someone brought some cheese.
You're back! Yay! Do you and Todd comment together now? Is this like a permanent thing?

Nick said...

Everyone can kiss my ass.

Bill said...

I thought I commented earlier but I guess I didn't. I admire anyone who can complete a lengthy meme like this. As I probably mentioned to Sizzle, my attepting it is probably not in the cards. Requires too much attention for my pea brain. (Though I did have the fortitude to Picasso myself.)

I will say this though: I have been knocked unconscious. Several times, I think. And this, I believe, explains a great deal about me.

Flounder said...

Never trust a chef that doesn't eat veal.

...and do you use anchovies in your caesar dressing? I hat them too, but I always use them in my caesar.

Brookelina said...

Nick - shall we all start lining up alphabetically?

Bill - actually that explains a great deal. And I love your artwork.

Flounder - do you know why they call it veal? Cause nobody wants to serve "baby cow locked in a tiny pen where it can't move, has no light, and no source of iron until its slaughtered for your consumption" on their menu.
As for the dressing - anchovies are definitely a part of the recipe - and it's the only recipe I have that includes them.

Tits McGee said...

Nick's just being touchy because everyone found out about him & Lance Bass.

Tim said...

do you use anchovies in your ceaser dressing?

jiggs said...

the trick to surviving in prison is to become someone's bitch really quickly, but then kill that person after sex.

LeMorse said...

I love this. I am stealing it. Hope you don't mind.

mckay said...

okay, the Ralph story got me a little teary eyed.