As your new Tabloid Darling, I promise to:
- Be famous for doing a whole lot of nothing. Cause like, I'm good at that.
- Make every effort to keep my underwear on in public. But not at home of course. Hello zoom lens!
- Lounge around my pool all day. I do this for the paparazzi, not for myself. I'm selfless like that. And of course there will always be an insanely hot man in the next lounge chair.
- Be outrageously promiscuous. Just don't be expecting any K-Feds or Birkheads on my resumé, I have higher standards than my predecessors when it comes to men.
- Say what I think without putting a whole lot of thought into the consequences. I know what you are all thinking. Shut up.
- Continue to allow my weight to fluctuate wildly on a daily basis. Yes, it's possible that the Oscar dress that the famous designer loaned me only days ago will be popping at the seams come the big night.
- Create controversy and set trends wherever I go. Looks like another trip to the Hanky Panky for me. I really hope that hooker has retired by now.
- Jetset around the world just for the hell of it. Oh the sacrifices I make!
- Have sex with lots of hot men. Did I say that already? Cause that's an important one.
Suggestions welcome. Thank you for your support.