Tuesday, February 13, 2007

39 Incredibly Immature Questions

I found these questions on a high school girl's blog. I considered answering all of them in high school mode, but I gave myself a headache.

1. Where do you hang your towel to dry after showering?
On the back of my bathroom door.

2. What kind of mouse pad do you have?
It's from my last job. Everytime I look at it I'm reminded of how glad I am that I changed careers. However, in reading this answer, I realize I need to get myself something a little more pornographic exciting.

3. Do you brush your hair with a comb or a brush?
Like I could get a comb through this mane.

4. In your opinion, who do you think is the hottest celebrity?
My opinion on this subject changes on a monthly basis. At the moment I have an unnatural obsession predilection for Gerard Butler.

5. You have a project due tomorrow, do you use tape or glue?
Duct tape

6. Chicken or pork?
Mmmmm...chicken. Fried chicken. No wait! Mmmm...bacon. Fried bacon...

7. By the time you get to school, is it still dark?
I love that this one is about school, highlighting the teenage aspect of the questionnaire. However, since I do go to school everyday, I will answer it.
No.

8. If you had a choice to be a unicorn or mermaid which would it be?
Oh come on. A mermaid of course. Swim around topless all day? I'm there.
Wait...can mermaids have sex?
Is it too late to change my answer?


9. What color is your underwear?
Underwear?

10. What time does the sun usually set?
I don't like this question. I am ignoring it.

11. What/who do you think of last before you go to sleep?
See number 4.

12. AC or fan?
Both.

13. Do you wear braces?
No, I do not. And no, I never did.

14. Can you do a hand stand?
I can do it in a pool. I can do lots of things in a pool...

15. If you were the opposite sex, how would you style your hair?
I'd have a buzz cut and I'd rub my head all day long.

16. What level English are you in?
I like to think I am at the highest level, thank you.

17. Jessica Simpson or Alba?
Alba, of course.

18. Which subject is worse, English or Math?
Oh. My. God. Like...I totally hate Math!

19. What's one thing you really want to do this very moment?
See number 4.

20. What movie are you embarrassed to admit you've watched?
Godzilla. Mothra vs. Godzilla. Godzilla vs. Monster Zero. Son of Godzilla. Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster. Godzilla vs. Megalon. Godzilla, Ebirah, Mothra: Big Duel In The South Sea.
You get the idea.

21. CD player or iPOD?
Why can't I have both?

22. Would you rather spin upside down going 30 miles or drop 400 ft. into water?
I'd rather kick the person who wrote this in the nuts.

23. Whats your favorite shape?
See number 4.

24. What do you have planned for the weekend?
First I'm going to a kegger over at Jimmy's. Then I'm like totally going shopping at the mall. Then I have cheerleading practice. Then I'm going to bang the football team.
Shut up! Not the whole team. Just the offensive line.


25. Have you ever gone ice skating?
Why is this question here?

26. If you were put in a room with nothing except for a pencil and paper, what would you do?
Draw stick figure porn.

27. Is it always easy finding your remote every time you want to watch TV?
Yes, one of the many perks of living alone.

28. How was your day?
You really don't care. Why do you ask when you don't care?

29. Do you grow your nails, bite or cut them?
I grow them, and they are quite lovely thank you.

30. Describe your handwriting.
Legible on a good day.

31. Do you consider yourself a stalker?
I don't, no. You might want to ask someone else though.

32. Do you bruise easily?
I actually do. I'm a dainty little blossom.

33. There's nothing on TV except Barney and Japanese news what do you do?
Fuck.

34. Do you know more then 3 myspace codes?
I have absolutely no idea what this question means.

35. You got an essay due, you either can type or write in pen, which will it be?
"You got an essay due?" With grammar like that, it won't matter whether it's typed or handwritten.

36. Do you wear jeans to relax at home?
No. I wear holey sweatpants. That's holey, not holy.

37. Describe yourself using three words.
Sweet. Smart. Goofy.

38. Do you use deodorant?
You better hope so.

39. Do you like ice in your drink?
Depends on the drink.


31 comments:

egan said...

I'm so thankful you don't know the MySpace codes. I don't know them either, or do I? I enjoyed your surly answers Ms. Rose.

yournamehere said...

You're going to do the entire football team? Like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn.

Mattress back.

Flounder said...

On behalf of every fat offensive lineman that never got any in HS, let me say thank you very much for the love.

BTW - I have been informed that my 20th reunion is Thanksgiving weekend. Should I go?

Flounder said...

Oh, and happy VD sexy!

Tits McGee said...

That's, like, totally awesome.

Churlita said...

You can't even imagine how many of those inane surveys my daughters answer on a daily basis. Now, I'm thinking I better read their answers to make sure they're not visiting the football team anytime soon.

matty said...

Wow -- I am liking this Gerald guy! And, NEVER be ashamed of MOTHRA movies! They rock!!!

Brookelina said...

Egan - I really don't understand that question at all, proving that I am indeed, old.

Todd - you're just jealous cause you didn't make the team.

Flounder - don't do it!!! But if you do, don't drink the purple Kool-Aid. And happy V-day to you too!

Tits - come on Thunder Tits, take one for the team wih me!

Churlita - reason number 48 why I am happy to be without children.

Matty - you can always count on me to find the hot men. I used to be able to land them too - at least for a little while.

Mone said...

stick figure porn is absolutely cool! Why didnt I think of something like that? Oh wait, I would have no idea how to get them moving, thats why, hahaha.

Happy Valentines Day!

Hypersonic said...

So, you don`t wear underwear and you have holey sweatpants? I think we need to go on a date.

Cactus Prick said...

You rawk, as usual.

Leezer said...

Brooke:
I love your answers. Thank God you didn't know the answer to #34.

I have about eight years to instill in my daughter an invisible sheild with which she can defend herself from such retarded questions. What? I can't?

Christina said...

Thank you for this revealing peek into your soul. Especially the part about myspace codes. Wow.

miss kendra said...

dainty little blossom??? me too.

i heart you, my hammy valentine.

Brookelina said...

Mone - me either. I stole that picture off the internets.

Hyper - you're not the first man to say that to me.

Prick - where the hell have you been?

Leezer - you should consider joining the Amish. That's what I'd do.

Tina - seriously, I don't know what those are. I still don't.

Kendra - I am dainty! Kind of.
Happy V-day my lovely little cold cut.

Melliferous Pants said...

I chose unicorn. I would be more than happy to let you ride me.

Bill said...

It's worrisome that it could occur to you to find a link to stick figure porn.

Speaking of which, I just about peed when I saw tantric sex.

Jill said...

I laughed all the way through this. You're the best, Brooke. I hope you're awesomely loving yourself and whomever else you feel like and as much chocolate as you want today on the dumb-ass Hallmark "holiday".

Übermilf said...

I have some questions:

Did you get your period yet?

Have you ever french-kissed a boy?

Does this look infected to you?

Naynayfazz said...

Hi. I found your blog over at Tinabellina's blog. I love this silly surveys. The older I get, I like to do them. They make me feel younger. I love the ones that say stuff like, "What class do you have during fifth period?" HA!

Brookelina said...

Pants - that's about the most erotic thing anyone has ever said to me.

Bill - I spent a good half hour of my life searching for the perfect stick figure porn for your viewing pleasure.

Jill - no, you're the best. More chocolate please.

Ubie - I'll answer your questions in order:
ewwww!
ewwww!
ewwww!

Naynay - I love people who appreciate my immaturity. Come by again please!

G3T Films said...

What a coincidence, I'm a dainty little blossom too!

In a totally hot way of course.

mernitman said...

you are so totally sweet smart goofy indeed (can we add "so amusingly sardonic?")

Sysm said...

Other than gravity being one cold-assed motherfucker, aren;t you truly glad you're not a 20 year-old any more?

Bone said...

oMg, JeSsIcA aLbA!!! yEs, ToTaLlY!!! oMg! YeR sOoOo FuNnY! rOfL

XOXOXO

Melanie was here said...

Seriously, what the fuck are MySpace codes?

TTYL

Toby said...

I give up.

mist1 said...

#3: What's a comb?

Carla said...

Thanks for the laughs. That was great.

Sizzle said...

i am afraid to ask, why would you be reading a high school girl's blog? ha.

Brookelina said...

Rich - ironically, it was an Australian boy who used to call me that.

Billy - sweet and sardonic? Is that possible?

Sysm - hmmmm let me think. No.

Bone - DUDE!!!

Mel - seriously, I don't know! I thought someone would have told me by now.

Toby - me too.

Mist - it's as much a mystery to me as the myspace codes. By the way, I don't know how you found me, but your blog is hilarious.

Carla - no, thank you!

Sizz - I was looking for sex advice.
Ha!