Monday, February 04, 2008

Let's Talk About Sex

...

umm...

OK you first.

38 comments:

Übermilf said...

Daniel Craig's penis.
Gerald Butler's penis.
Viggo Mortensen's penis.
Ann Coulter's penis.
Andy Rooney's penis.
Mitt Romney's penis.
Jerry Falwell's penis.
Donald Duck's penis.

yournamehere said...

Hey, I got some over the summer. I'm only marginally pathetic.

No, I'm completely pathetic.

Sizzle said...

sex is natural.
sex is good.
not everybody does it.
but everybody should.

cajunvegan said...

"Fuck Her Gently"

This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely
You don't always have to fuck her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And fuckin give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey
I'm gonna Fuck you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly
And then you say hey I bought you flowers
And then you say wait a minute sally
I think I got somethin in my teeth
Could you get it out for me
That's fuckin teamwork
Whats your favorite posish?
That's cool with me
Its not my favorite
But I'll do it for you
Whats your favorite dish?
Im not gonna cook it
But ill order it from Zanzibar
And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I'll fuckin fuck you discreetly
And then I'll fucking bone you completely
But then I'm gonna fuck you hard
Hard

Melliferous Pants said...

Sex is for marriage.

jiggs said...

Why don't we talk about "salt 'n' pepa" instead?

Big Momma Pimpalishisness said...

I've been trying to decide for over a year which is my favorite thing to do- sleep or have sex...it's tough, I think they're tied.

ginonymous said...

eeeehhhh..

i have to go the OB/GYN today. thanks for bringing it up.

:(

Ambitious Blonde said...

I haven't had the sex since July or so. :(

Hypersonic said...

Sex is best when there's a little blood and pain involved.

Sysm said...

Is "vajayjay" a term for one of the original hosts on MTV?

maria said...

Make-up sex.
Sleepy sex.
Rushed sex.
Slow sex.
Blindfolded sex.
Tied-up sex.
Dressed-up sex.
Half-dressed sex.
Morning sex.
Afternoon sex.

Sex is just fantastic.

Nance said...

I can't; I have a headache.

G3T Films said...

Do you mean outdoor sex or just sex in general?

Angelique said...

Once, just once I want a guy not look at me like I just ate his soul when I ask him to choke me a little during sex.
Is that so wrong?
I mean, C'MON FELLAS! PUT A LITTLE LUST INTO IT. sheesh.

Oh, and hypersonic?- MmmmmHmmmmm

Nick said...

No, you go first.

Think Frustrated said...

Sex.

It's good. I mean, what more can you say?

As with most married men, I'd like more than I get, but I'm happy to get any at all.

Diedre said...

I am a sex supporter

Gerry said...

Gosh, I thought you would have known about sex at your age!

Oh well, here we go!

The right words for private body parts are "penis" and "vagina".

Your Mom has a uterus inside her tummy, where you lived until you were big enough to be born.

When you were ready to be born, the uterus pushed you out through your Mommy's vagina.

Your Mom and Dad made you in the uterus when a tiny cell inside your Dad called a sperm joined together with a tiny cell inside Mom called an egg.

They can be joined together because nature (or god if you are that way inclined) created male and female bodies to fit together like puzzle pieces. When the penis and the vagina fit together, sperm, like tadpoles, swim through the penis and up to the egg. That process is called Sex and it is one of the ways people show love for each other.

Sex is an important part of society and you'll probably hear a lot of talk about it from your friends or in the media. Sex should be part of a loving relationship but sex can also occur spontaneously when drunk, this is very good until you wake up the next day. Rape is when someone forces another person to have sex, and that's wrong... Unless it occurs in a Dominatrix/Submissive sexual relationship and then it's ok to force the submissive to have sex. They really want it but they make believe they don't cause it gets them off.

As for the rest, well, that's more a practical lesson rather than theory.

I hope this helped!

Bill said...

Interesting ... Have you noticed how many more comments you get when you ask about sex? Personally, I'm hoping to engage in some more field research before I respond.

Sysm said...

I wish I was ambidextrous.

Kenzie! said...

Umm, sex is good. :)

Spinning Girl said...

I hear it's fun.

Scarlet Hip said...

I apologize for not taking part in this conversation. First, I've been deathly ill for the last few days. And second, I've been deathly undersexed for the last few years.

Scarlet Hip said...

Ubie - I'll take the first three to go please.

Todd - it is I who is completely pathetic.

Sizz - I definitely should, even if not everybody else is doing it.

CV - any song that uses cartoon porn is ok in my book.

Pants - get the fuck out of Utah.

Jiggs - no! Let's talk about sex baby. Let's talk about you and me.

Scarlet Hip said...

Big Momma - it has to be sleep for me at this point. It's all I know.

Ginny - my very first gynecologist looked like a GQ model. I was totally mortified. Never went back again.

Ambitious - July? Of what year?

Hyper - freak.

Sysm - it should be. But it's actually a term for V-A-G-I-N-A.

Maria - morning sex should be at the top of that list.

Scarlet Hip said...

Nance - you know what's good for a headache? Sex.

Rich - what an odd question. Please elaborate.

Angelique - provincial douchebags! The lot of 'em!

Nick - I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

Jacob - you're married? I am soooo breaking up with you.

Diedre - me too! We should start a club! We could wear jackets and everything.

Scarlet Hip said...

Gerry - who knew you talked so much? Now shut the fuck up and show me.

Bill - that's what I need. A good field researching.

Sysm - I wish you were too.

Kenzie - I do remember it being good, yes.

SG - oh like you don't know!

matty said...

I like it.

...a lot.

Valley Girl said...

Ditto what Matty said.

Think Frustrated said...

I don't remember ever indicating that I wasn't married. However, that's a weak breakup reason, in my opinion. You should be able to overlook my wife. ;)

thephoenixnyc said...

the winking clam

Tits McGee said...

Talking is overrated.

Let's just fuck.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Bill said...

Hmm. My research has not gone as well as I'd hoped. But I will persevere!!!

Naynayfazz said...

Roses are red, pickles are green, I like your legs and what's inbetween.

Sorry I was late to the conversation. I am a stinky blogger lately.

Michaela said...

I hope it's as good as i've been told...

Kurt said...

scarlet hip ay? nice!
long time no visit-
sorry

thephoenixnyc said...

Love it. Wish it with Angelina Jolie and Salma Hayek. Could die afterwards.