I've been busy

Cable Lineup September/October

The most recent set of words and phrases that landed unwitting freaks to my blog/cable network.

The Discovery Channel

• what is museltov
• help! i'm being ostracized at work
• i'm a girl 18 never really dated till blind date how could i lose my virginity that way
• What other haircolor would a medium brown haired, brown eyed girl look best in?
• can a sociopath be loyal and honest
• does the ubie create a strong smell (you'll have to ask the Ubermilf herself, but my guess is the smell is lovely)
• Nick Sucks Ass (Hey Nick, your mom was looking for you)
  

Gerard Butler TV

• does gerard butler like women in vests
• gerard butler's buzzcut
• gerard butler womanizing
• Gerard Butler pectoral implants
• gerard butler butt pic
• gerard butler nude pix
• gerard butler's penis
• gerard butler and his enormous penis (Gerard, I'm number one for this one - you owe me)
• gerard butler said i'm not gay
• want to fuck Gerard Butler
• does gerard butler have a tattoo?
  

Scarlet Hip TV

• frog hips
• what is a little wild rose hip for
• There goes my hip!
• rosehip gin
• rose hip bush
• hip middle names
• scarlett's big butt

Halloween Channel

• outer space vixen costume
• seams around hips mermaid
• James Bond vixen costumes
  

Lifetime

• i know i've been a real bad girl
• chloroform soaked rag
• i want to get a tattoo for my future husband
• getting a buttler
  

The Nature Channel

• organic condos post comments
• i´m sorry i flush you fishi
• prickly rose
• wild rose plant
  

The Travel Channel

• A village in Texas is missing its idiot
• shit to do at 5:55 on a tuesday in florida
• sydney hip restaurants
• florida keys cigars
• florida sucks hurricanes crocodiles
• satans slaves bradford
• man diego
• henky penky amsterdam
  
• biker bar amsterdam
  

The Learning Channel

• spelling bubbie
• frog scorpion fairytale
• knock on wood ocd
• education power words
• the name of my future husband
• the giving tree shel silverstein tattoo
  

Playboy

• cake fucking
• fucking cakes
  
• titty tv
• stop obsessing over porn
• " l is for luscious"
• augment penis
• what places guys like to be kissed
• scarlett poem's twat
• crack my future
• boobs xx tv
• accidental nudity at the beach
• pelosi boobs
• bras and oops they did it again
  

Tuesday Ten #8

Ten Dumb Blogthing Names

Your Pirate Name Is...

Skull Crusher Hook-Handed Helen

What's Your Pirate Name?

Your Outrageous Name is:

Candy Yass

Outrageous Name Generator

Your Adult Film Star Name Is...

Sindee Slickbooty

What's Your Adult Film Star Name?

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Seagoing Wombat Your Superpower is Unexplained Your Weakness is Cold Weather Your Weapon is Your Foam Bazooka Your Mode of Transportation is Snowshoes

What's your Superhero Name?

Your Vampire Name Is...

Seductress of Prussia

What's Your Vampire Name?

Your Elf Name Is...

Twinkles Sweet Cheeks

What's Your Elf Name?

Your Hippie Chick Name Is:

Tranquilla

Hippie Chick Name Generator

Your Drag Queen Name Is:

Ophelia Cox

Drag Queen Name Generator

Your Wrestler Name Is...

Jade Wildcat

What's Your Wrestler Name?

Your Celebrity Baby Name Is...

Caledonia Moxie

What's Your Celebrity Baby Name?

Your Old Fashioned Name Is...

Charity Rippringham

What's Your Old Fashioned Name?

WWJD

I have a serious question about religion. OK, actually I have three.

I promise you that I am not trying to be simplistic, disrespectful, or inflammatory. I really am interested to know if anyone has the answer to these questions.

Recently, a born-again Christian spent the better part of the day trying to convert me. I realize that it's her duty to convert anyone who hasn't seen the light, and so I was patient with her and didn't beat her to death with a heavy object. Instead, I told her I would consider it if she could answer my three simple questions.

1. I'm Jewish. So was Jesus. Why do you want to convert me to a religion other than the one your Lord and Savior practiced? And he didn't just practice Judaism, he was a Rabbi. So I can't help but think that leaving the religion he himself taught to others would be extremely disrespectful.
   


2. If you love Jesus so much, shouldn't you be the one converting to the religion he was born into and taught to others? To me that would seem to be the way to really show your love for him. He's a nice Jewish boy, it's the least you can do!
   


3. Finally, since Jesus was Jewish- and the son of God - then does that mean that God is Jewish? I mean really, would God impregnate a girl who didn't share his religion? That would be kind of blasphemous, wouldn't it?
   

My potential converter could not answer my questions. Can anyone answer these without becoming completely rabid or condemning me to hell*?

Thank you.

*Thank God Jews don't believe in hell.

Tuesday Ten #8

Ten classic Bushisms regarding education and children
Not including his most recent gaffe which you can see here.

1. "I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children." --George W. Bush, second presidential debate, Oct. 11, 2000


2. "Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis." --George W. Bush, CNBC, April 15, 2000


3. "Reading is the basics for all learning." --George W. Bush, announcing his "Reading First" initiative in Reston, Va., March 28, 2000


4. "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" --George W. Bush, Florence, South Carolina, Jan. 11, 2000


5. "I want it to be said that the Bush administration was a results-oriented administration, because I believe the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read and having an education system that's responsive to the child and to the parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make America what we want it to be — a more literate country and a hopefuller country." —George W. Bush, Jan. 11, 2001


6. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' —George W. Bush, Feb. 21, 2001


7. "The public education system in America is one of the most important foundations of our democracy. After all, it is where children from all over America learn to be responsible citizens, and learn to have the skills necessary to take advantage of our fantastic opportunistic society." —George W. Bush, May 1, 2002


8. "As Luce reminded me, he said, without data, without facts, without information, the discussions about public education mean that a person is just another opinion." —George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sept. 9, 2003


9. "Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004


10. "I want to thank you for the importance that you've shown for education and literacy." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2005