Happy Blogiversary To Me

It is hard to believe it was a year ago on this day that I made that fateful Google search which led me to the world of blogging. It is even harder to believe what a big part of my life this has become. This past year I have poured out my soul in some 156 posts, participated in many a dreaded meme, written more than my share of inane comments, and best of all - have made several blog friends. It is a completely different world than what I expected. I knew nothing of comments, site meters, or blogrolls. I had no idea about cliques, lurkers, or comment bombs. It is a whole new world, this blogworld is. So I am now going to offer up five little pearls of wisdom and knowledge I have acquired this past year to those newbies out there who might be considering joining the world of blog - and all with the help of everyone's favorite imaginary friend, Tyler Durden.

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1) The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club. Woe to those whose families and friends read their blogs. I have told very few friends about my blog - and I'm almost sorry I even told them. Sorry guys, but really, I tell you everything anyway. I have told no immediate family and absolutely no workmates. How can you bitch about family and friends if they are snooping around your blog looking for dirt? Keep the blog to yourself. Your blog life - and real life - will be all the healthier for it.

2) Hey, you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility! I originally started writing in the hopes that if anyone out there was looking for me, they could find me through my blog. Well that was as dumb as a bag of hammers. If there is one thing I could change it would be that my name would be in no way associated with this thing, especially now that I am in the education field. Being a teacher, and having my name on here, I just don't feel comfortable writing about my sexual exploits or drunken debauchery. Because that's the reason I don't write about that stuff, not because there are no sexual exploits or drunken debauchery to write about.
Shut up.

3) Man, you've got some fucked up friends, I'm tellin' ya. Limber, though...Blog crushes are an inevitable part of the game. I have yet to meet a blogger who did not form some sort of a crush on a fellow blogger. Ok, I have yet to meet a blogger at all, but you know what I mean. The crushes happen, and I am here to tell you - don't let it happen to you! The blog world is an unnatural world; friendships come hard and fast. If you make a friend, keep it that way - as a friend. This is going to come as quite a shock... but... people on the internet....lie. No, it's true! They do! If you want a date, go to Match.com. Don't look for one through your blog. And no, I'm not going to mention MoMo here, because she just blows my whole crush theory to hell, damn her and her perfect man.

4) The things you own, end up owning you. At some point I became more concerned with how many blogrolls I was on and how many hits my blog was getting than about what I was writing. That's when I knew it was time to step away from the computer. Yes, it's always flattering to be blogrolled by people, just don't freak out if they dump you like a bad habit with no notice. Having a Site Meter is really only worthwhile to see how complete strangers find your blog through internet searches - I am number one for Accidental Flash! And don't get me started on Comment Envy. Listen, comments are a very nice way to get feedback, but whether you get 5 or 50, it doesn't matter. It's a blog, not a popularity contest. If you are trying to grab that elusive popularity you never obtained in high school, then you are a bigger loser than you were back then. And I know of what I speak, cause I was super cool in high school. No really, I was much cooler then than I am now. Now I'm a dork.

5) Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. Don't try to be like others, just be yourself. My blog is all about me. Me me me. There's nothing wrong with that! Let's face it, if I don't write about me, who else will? Some people rant about politics, others treat their blog like a journal, while still others practice their mad writing skills. It's your blog and you can do what you want with it. If you like hot fez wearing chicks - then show them off! If exploding things in the microwave is your thing - feel free to share with the world! If conversing with your penis is your claim to fame - then get some therapy. But write about it first!

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And there you have them, my five little nuggets of genius. Extra special thanks to Tyler Durden for his help with this extra special post. I hope you enjoyed my first blogiversary musings. If you did, come back again sometime. If not, go fuck yourself.
What! It's my blog, I can say what I want.


Tis better to have blogged and lost than never to have blogged at all.
- The Babbling Brooke

Congratulations. You're one step closer to hitting bottom.
- Tyler Durden