Thursday, May 22, 2008

Scenes from a first grade classroom

The Players:
Ms. Woes - Moi
Class Clown - hilariously funny little boy
PITA - pain in the ass, but wildly entertaining
Sunshine - adorable little girl who is unable to hold still for more than 14 seconds at a time
Surfer Dude - once incredibly shy little boy who now has surfer hair and is all kinds of rad
Clueless - sweet little girl who spends most of the day playing with pencil shavings

Scene 1: The Classroom

Ms. Woes : OK everyone, it's time to clean up and get ready for lunch.

PITA: I wasn't finished yet! *fist raised in the air* Curse you clock!

Scene 2: Walking to the Cafeteria

(Ms Woes playfully pushes the line leader, aka the Class Clown)

Class Clown: HEY!

Ms. Woes : What?

Class Clown: You pushed me!

Ms. Woes : Did not.

Class Clown: Did too!

Ms. Woes: Did not!!

Class Clown: Did too!

Sunshine: Stop it you two! Honestly!

Ms. Woes and Class Clown: (heads down) Sorry.

Scene 3: Walking back from the Cafeteria

Surfer Dude: Ms. Woes, can I hang out at your house this weekend?

Ms. Woes: Sorry honey, afraid not.

Surfer Dude: I'd wash your car.

Ms. Woes: Hmmm, tempting

Surfer Dude: I'll even make you dinner!

Ms. Woes: Dinner? You can cook?

Surfer Dude: Yes! I will make you dinner! And chicken will be fried!

Scene 4: The Classroom

Ms. Woes: Clueless, honey, you need to put your crayons away now. We aren't going to be using them for a while.

Clueless: When I was in kindergarten, a boy was coloring his teeth. With color! Crayons! Color crayons!

Sunshine: Where did you go to kindergarten?

Scene 5: Walking in the Hallway

Sunshine: It smells weird in the hallway today.

Clueless: It smells like my cousin's feet.

Scene 6: The Classroom

Ms. Woes: PITA, someone is knocking on the door. Could you see who it is?

PITA: OK, but I'm not letting them in unless they know the password.

Ms. Woes: What's the password?

PITA: Mustard. The password is Mustard.


Sizzle said...

This cracked me up!


My cousin's feet!



East Coast Teacher said...

"Where did you go to kindergarten?"


This post shall be filed under: Yet Another Reason I Love Teaching

Princess of the Universe said...

I'm going to make all my internet passwords "mustard" from now on.

Tim said...

so much more entertaining than the computer programming business.

Übermilf said...

it's the end of the year. are you sad?

Bill said...

What's wrong with colouring your teeth?

GrandPooOfAwesome said...

Kids are fantastic...absolutely fantastic.

One of my favorites from 5th graders:

boy 1: that was random.

boy 2: what does "random" even mean.

boy 1: this...[turning to me] Hey, I like eggs.

But...younger kids come up with some pretty fantastic stuffs. I think I'd like teaching first grade.

yournamehere said...

The password should always be "mustard".

G3T Films said...

My play would have a lot less children and a lot more nudity. Of course, the mustard will remain optional.

Diedre said...

Thank you for sharing!!!!


Think Frustrated said...

The pain in the ass is my new best friend. That kid is going places. Really, what an imagination and personality. That kid's parents are lucky to have such a unique kid.

Anonymous said...

Keep posting stuff like this i really like it