Name: Lucy The ElephantI am a: 125 year old woman
Located in: Margate NJ
Seeking a: 100-150 year old man
Body Type: Curvy
Turn ons: standing, staring, seeing my image on souvenirs
Turn offs: hurricanes, winter, gum
About Me
Hi! I never thought I would try this internet dating thing, but here goes! My name is Lucy the Elephant. I'm 65 feet tall, 90 tons, and can be seen from eight miles away. I'm 125 years old (I know, I know! I don't look it. I hear it all the time!), and I've lived in Margate, New Jersey my entire life.
5 Things to know about me:
I love people, which is a good thing since I have them running all over me all summer long! I am a historical landmark. It once took me seven hours to move two blocks. I live on a prime piece of oceanfront property. I have windows in my butt.
I'm looking for a nice, solid guy who likes the beach. That's pretty much it. Please include a picture with your response! Caio!
19 comments:
response...
must be witty
willing to move to the tundra
and must not lick own butt.
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you eat with that thing?
Very funny post...I have seen you comment on several other blogs (nick, lilreddramaqueen, to name a few) so I thought I would stop by. Fun site!
and must watch chick flicks...
Hi,
My nam is Ram, and I live in Goulburn, NSW, Australia. I don't know how you feel about long-distance, cross-species relationships, but I saw your photo and I think that ewe are really hot... here is my photo (http://www.general.uwa.edu.au/u/
rpinna/big/pics/goulburn_ram.jpg)
Whaddya say, cutie?
lilred - must not lick own butt. Man, I wish I had thought of that one. lol
mona - thanks! And I like your blogs, very positive.
Ram - you are quite the big stud! I have no problem with the cross-species thing. We are all on this planet together! I am worried about the long-distance thing though. I haven't moved in 35 years.....perhaps pen pals?
for some strange reason the picture of the elephant really freaked me out. I guess I'll have to have the doctor up my dosage of zanax or something.
CBT - it sounds like we have a lot in common! Am I telepathic? You tell me...right now you are thinking about sex as a seagull is unloading on your horns..am I right?
Evil - I'm sorry, but I require pics, after all, you've seen me!
Ruben - I find your picture very attractive. I'm sorry you have never considered a little elephant lovin'. Once you go pach, you never go back.
Ah Just think what the child of an Elephant and a Walrus would look like. hehehehehe And of course kissing would be tough with two sets of tusks to deal with. However the beach is obvious but I do require a good air conditioner. hehehe
The only thing funnier is that I've been inside poor Lucy,and even purchased a postcard from the Lucy gift shop! Ahhh America!
Odd, "I've been inside poor Lucy" is my favorited country song.
lemorse - what do you get when you cross a walrus and an elephant?
pink - cool!!! Philly girl!! I can see Lucy's ass from my window, I'm waving for you!
yourname - and so many men have sung that one too...poor Lucy..
Dear Lucy,
I hope you don't mind fame. I am trying to step out of the limelight. I think a nice quiet relationship with a Jersey girl would be a welcome change to the hustle and bustle of L.A. women. I am currently embroiled in a sticky divorce, but by August I will be a free man. (Minnie got half all my shit, the bitch.)
Please give me a chance. I know you and I would be facing more than just the paparazzi. There's also the issue of interracial dating. But if you can get past the "elephants fear mice" stereotype, I know we can make it work. I may be small, but I know how to use myself.
I've included a link to my pic.
http://albums.mouseplanet.com/AdrienneVincentPhoenix/75MM63_020405_AVP.sized.jpg
Email me soon.
Eagerly Yours
Mickey
You either get a WALEPHANT or an ELERUS. Either way it is cover with blubber and has one mean pair of tusks! And very happy to use them!
No possible mates, but I know of two giant chairs it might be able to sit in and a giant bed frame as well. Nothing advertises a furniture store better than a piece of furniture that makes me think "fee fi fo fum..."
Anthony!!! Did you just call Lucy an....IT???? She's a girl!!!
Mickey, while you are very attractive, I am concerned about the fame issue. If Brad Pitt and I couldn't make it as a couple, then imagine the difficulty if I went out with Mickey Mouse!
Besides, I don't want to get the reputation as a star fucker....you understand.
my appologies to lucy.
Accepted. She is very sensitive you know. And remember, an elephant never ......what was I saying?
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