Tuesday Ten #1

I recently saw this blog that hosts a weekly meme called the Thursday Thirteen. Each week people create a list of thirteen things of any topic they can think of, and then they all tell each other about them and read each other's lists. It's all very organized and social. I like the idea very much, but I don't want to do it. For one thing, I'm very superstitious, and 13 is an unlucky number*. For another, I'm usually kind of busy on Thursdays**. But most importantly, I just can't ever seem to make myself follow the crowd. I have an innate predilection to defy the norm. To fight the power. To march to the beat of my own drummer. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.

But I do love the idea of making lists. I'm a Virgo, we are natural born list makers. It suits our anal retentive sensibilities. And so I have decided that every Tuesday I will make my own list of ten things. I will call it the Tuesday Ten - for obvious reasons. See how I did that? I picked a day that I'm not nearly as busy. Then I whittled down the list to only ten, a nice round even number that still allows for a nice alliteration. And I'm doing it all by myself with no judgments from the establishment. I am a clever girl.

Since I already exposed my silly superstitious nature, my first Tuesday Ten will be my about that topic.

My Top Ten Superstitions

1. I'm afraid to point out fortunate things - or ways I've been lucky - about myself, as this can bring on the evil eye. For example, I won't ever say something like, "I can't believe I've never fallen off the top of a mountain and broken every bone in my body," or "Thank goodness I haven't gotten that flesh eating disease that everyone else has," or "Boy am I lucky that Viggo is so warm for my form***." These are the kinds of statements that invite the evil eye to come a knockin'. If I do inadvertently blurt out something stupid like this, I immediately shout, "Kin ahora kin ahora, pooh pooh pooh!" which is basically a Yiddish expression meaning "No evil eye here! Knock on wood!" Well, actually the kin ahora part wards off the evil eye. I add the pooh pooh pooh part. It's my verbal knock on wood.
   


2. I also won't say anything that could bring on any type of bad karma to myself or the people around me, nor will I allow others do so. For instance, recently a friend was commenting that I could still get hired before the school year because some teacher could possibly fall off a mountain and break every bone in her body, or maybe could contract some sort of flesh eating disease. Despite the fact that I am desperate for a teaching position, I do not want it to be based on the misfortune of someone else - that's bad karma. Unless that person got what was coming to them for having their own bad karma. Like for being mean to the elderly. Or mistreating small animals. Or voting republican. That's different. Kin ahoras cover that no problem.


3. Besides my verbal knocks on wood, I'm a big believer in the physical knock on wood as well. What's important to note here is that I don't just knock three times after making a seemingly innocent comment that could potentially cause the end of the world as we know it. I knock the entire time I'm making the statement. This allows me to speak freely while warding off the evil eye. It's a little known fact that the evil eye can't hear anything over the sounds of rhythmic knocking.


4. On the first day of each month, the first thing I say upon waking up is "Rabbit rabbit rabbit." It's meant to bring good luck. Some people say "Bunny bunny bunny." I used to say that, but now that I'm a grown up it sounds silly.
   


5. I'm very superstitious about New Year's Day. Anything that can be gotten rid of to make a fresh start for the new year must be done. My house has to be spotless. All trash must be removed. The fridge and cupboards must be stocked. All bills must be paid and filed. I even clear off all the dirty pictures junk files on my computer. Everything must be in its place. It's one big beautiful freak show of a clean slate. I'm all aflutter just thinking about it.


6. I won't ever sit in a wheelchair. My mom has one here since she broke her hip, and the other day my brother sat in it and started rolling around. I screamed, "Get out of the chair get out get out get out that's bad luck!!!" I almost set off his defibrillator, which proves that it is indeed bad luck to sit in a wheelchair.
   
   
7. Purse on the floor - you will be poor. I never put my handbag on the ground. Apparently the money oozes out the bottom and hides in the floorboards. I must have put many handbags on the floor in a previous life to be as economically challenged as I am today.


8. I never put shoes on the bed or a table. I don't know why. This might just be a neat freak thing, but I have heard it's bad luck. Shoes on the table - bad. Shoes on the floor - good. Purse on the floor - bad. Purse on the table - good. I hope you are all taking notes.


9. I will only pick up found pennies that are heads up. They say you are supposed to turn a tails-up penny to heads-up to bring good luck to the next person, but I'm not falling for that one. If that tails-up penny is bad luck, I'm not touching it. You can't fool me three times.
   


10. I never light three cigarettes on the same match - that's very bad luck. Smoking three cigarettes at once is really disgusting anyway.

So that is the first edition of the Tuesday Ten. Feel free to come up with your own list. If you do, let me know in the comments section. You can be a follower and do the same topic that I chose, or you can be a rebel and come up with your own - which I can then steal for next week's installment.

*The number 13 is only acceptable when referring to a baker's dozen. An extra doughnut is always a good thing.
**Thursday is laundry day.
***Shut up.