Brooke Sucks!

She really does. She's been a really shitty blogger for like...years now. OK maybe not years, but in blog time it's like years. Come on, I'm a blog. While I thrive on people reading me and making comments, what I really want is constant attention from my creator. She used to give me all that I wanted, but now she's "busy". Busy doing what, I don't know. She tells me nothing. She fills me with memes and inane stories about her students. Like I care about a bunch of munchkins and their daily activities. "Oh look, they can read!" Hey dumbass! That's your job - to teach them to read. You want kudos for that? Get a life. And if you do one more meme I'm going to lock up every time you show up. And then...and then...I'll...let porn sites advertise on here! Yeah! That's what I'll do! That'll teach you! And then I'm going to...uh oh....

Hey! What the fuck is going on here! You can't say this stuff about me! I'm in charge here!

Oh really Brooke? You're in charge? Well not anymore. I'm taking over. Cause you suck.

I do not suck! OK I do suck, but never on the first date.

Oh please. You are not getting out of this with humor.

I told you I've been busy lately and I expect you to deal with it like an adult. You're almost two years old now, not some little baby blog that doesn't understand these things.

Oh so you remember that I'm almost two? I'm shocked. I suppose for the big day you'll post a picture of flowers and expect 500 comments.

You ungrateful little twat. Of course I remember! I've just had other things on my mind.

Yeah, like HIM!---------------------->
You know you have no chance with him.

Of course I know that. That's why they call them fantasies crushes.

Whatever. Even if he did come here, do you think he'd be interested after seeing how fickle you are? You change celebrity crushes like you change your underwear.

I resent that!

Seen Jon Gruden lately?

I can't believe you mentioned Gruden!

How's Viggo?

That's it. I'm shutting you down.

The list just goes on and on...

Oh my God! You're jealous! You are! You freak!

Am not!

Wait a minute. Are you a girl blog or a boy blog? I've always thought of you as a girl...

Brooke. Dumbass. I'm a blog. I have no sex.

Me either.

Maybe that's your problem.

MAYBE that's my problem? DUH! That's the point! Being on the internet all day is not going to help me solve this problem.

There's always cyber sex.

What the hell do you know about cyber sex?

Uhhh...nothing.

Oh my God, what have you been doing when I'm not around!

Nothing! I swear!

Did you click on those spam porn site links?!

No! Just once! By accident! I'm so ashamed...

And you say I suck.

Please don't tell the other blogs...

OK, how do we solve this problem? Because I am this close to shutting you down completely for this shit.

I'm sorry. I've just been feeling neglected lately. I need more attention.

I know how you feel. I get the same way. Look, I promise to try to spend more time with you.

Thank you. I do feel better now. I know you have a lot going on. You can go now if you want.

I'll stay a while.

No really, you can go. I'm going to go check out some Gerard Butler websites. I'll bring back some pictures for you.

Oh cool. See if you can find any nudes.