Garden State, Birthday Wishes, and Soundtracks

1. I just flew up to Jersey for a long weekend. I look forward to:
Several nice long walks here.
Eating one (or several) of these.
And some of these.
And drinking lots of this.
Oh, and seeing my family. That too.

2. It's the fantabulous Miss Kendra's birthday. I send boob smooshes and inappropriate groping her way for her big day. And this too. Enjoy!

3. For those who didn't believe my perfect soundtrack, I did it again. Cause yes, I'm that anal and insecure.

Opening Scene: Din Da Da - George Krantz
Bah!... Bah!... Bah!... Bah!...
Bah!... zoom zoom
Bah!... zoom zoom
Bah!... zoom zoom
Bah!... zoom zoom

Wake Up Scene: A Little Less Conversation - Elvis
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby

Average Day: Heavy - Collective Soul
Complicate this world you wrapped for me
I'm acquainted with your suffering

1st Date: You Suck - The Murmurs
Oh you paralyze my mind
And for that you suck

Falling in Love: Crazy - Seal
No we're never gonna survive unless
We are a little Crazy

Fight Scene: Tubthumping - Chumbawumba
I get knocked down
But I get up again
Youre never going to
Keep me down

Break Up Scene: Ocean - Mother Nature
Sounds of waves breaking on the beach. I swear!!

Back Together: Somewhere Out There - Our Lady Peace
Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place

Secret Love: Let's Talk About Sex - Salt and Pepa
Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be

Life's OK: 10th Avenue Freeze-out - Bruce Springsteen
The night is dark but the sidewalk's bright
And lined with the light of the living

Mental Breakdown: All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
Help me out
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner

Driving: Why Can't I Be You - The Cure
You're so perfect!
You're so right as rain!
You make me make me make me
Make me hungry again

Learning a Lesson: Crown - Collective Soul
Who's gonna be my savior
Now that I've learned to believe
Who's gonna be the answer
To all of my questioning

Deep Thought: Like A Rock - Bob Seger
Twenty years now
Whered they go?
Twenty years
I dont know
Sit and I wonder sometimes
Where they've gone

Flashback: I'm A Believer - Smashmouth
Love was out to get to me
That's the way it seems
Disappointment haunted
All my dreams

Partying: Delicate - Damien Rice
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?

Happy Dance: Strict Machine - Goldfrapp
Wonderful electric
Cover me in you

Regretting: Like A Friend - Pulp
You are the last drink I never should have drunk
You are the body hidden in the trunk
You are the habit I can't seem to kick
You are my secrets on the front page every week

Long Night Alone: Coconut - Harry Nilsson
Put the lime in the coconut
You drink 'em both together
Put the lime in the coconut
Then you feel better

Death Scene: Still Got The Blues - Gary Moore
So long
It was so long ago
But I've still got the blues for you

Closing Credits: I'll Be Your Baby Tonight - Robert Palmer
Kick your shoes off
Do not fear
Bring that bottle over here
I'll be your baby tonight

What's Your Soundtrack?

Found out Lushy's.

Here's how it works...Put your iPod or whatever music player you have on shuffle. The first song that you hear will be the song for your Opening Scene. Skip to the next song, this is your next category. Keep doing this until the end.

Opening Scene: American Girl -Tom Petty
Well she was an American girl
Raised on promises
She couldnt help thinkin that there
Was a little more to life somewhere else

Wake Up Scene: Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world

Average Day: It's My Life - Bon Jovi
Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

1st Date: Learning to Fly - Pink Floyd
Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I

Falling in Love: Why Can't I Be You? - The Cure
You turn my head when you turn around
You turn the whole world upside down
I'm smitten I'm bitten I'm hooked I'm cooked
I'm stuck like glue!

Fight Scene: Machine Head - Bush
Breathe in breathe out
Breathe in breathe out
Breathe in
Breathe in
Breathe in

Break Up Scene: Save Yourself - Stabbing Westward
I know that you've been damaged
Your soul has suffered such abuse
But I am not your savior
I am just as fucked as you

Back together: A Song For You - Ray Charles
I love you in a place
Where there's no space or time
I love your for my life
Cause you're a friend of mine

Secret Love: White Flag - Dido
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Life's OK: Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
Hands, touching hands, reaching out
Touching me, touching you
Oh, sweet Caroline
Good times never seem so good
I've been inclined to believe it never would

Mental Breakdown: Head Like A Hole - Nine Inch Nails
Head like a hole
Black as your soul
I'd rather die than give you control

Driving: Bawitdaba - Kid Rock
Bawitdaba da bang da bang diggy diggy diggy
Said the boogy said up jump the boogy

Learning a Lesson: Harder to Breathe - Maroon 5
You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This double vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground that I'm walking on

Deep Thought: Delicate - Damien Rice
So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known

Flashback: Into The Mystic - Van Morrison
I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
Then magnificently we will float into the mystic

Partying: A Little Less Conversation - Elvis
A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation aint satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark

Happy Dance: Ooh La La - Goldfrapp
I need la la la la la la
I need ooh la la la la
I need la la la la la la
I need ooh la la la la...

Regretting: Under the Milky Way - The Church
Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find

Long Night Alone: Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen
So you're scared and you're thinking
That maybe we ain't that young anymore
Show a little faith there's magic in the night

Death Scene: The World I Know - Collective Soul
So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below
And I laugh at myself
As the years roll down
Cause it's the world I know
It's the world I know

Closing Credits: All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
Over and out, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I've done

A Picture's Worth A Thousand Words

Sharkbait Update

Yes yes, you all want to hear about Sharkbait - especially my favorite simian - whom I can never say no to. See how that works? You don't want to know about my sweet little girls and my adoring little boys (one of whom brought me a first edition of Uncle Tom's Cabin today - I'm still trying to work that one out) but no, you want to hear about the bane of my existence. The hell in my heaven. The pain in my ass.

We finally had a meeting with Mother Sharkbait. Much to Sharkbait's delight, his mother was hostile, angry, and eager to jump to the defense of her poor persecuted child. In my kindliest teacher voice, I explained how Sharkbait's safety, health, and education are the most important things to me - that his best interests are all I care about. And then I gently dropped the little bombs - the use of both the F word and the N word, the dirty looks, the pushing and shoving and kicking of other children. Slowly but surely Mother Sharkbait worked her way to my side of the room. Much to Sharkbait's horror, the words "military school" and "permanent grounding" started being thrown about. By the end of the meeting, she was promising to send me pictures of her newborn twins, and Sharkbait was looking at me with that old familiar, "Where did I go wrong?" look on his face.

So Ms. Wose, has he gotten any better?
No, not really. Well, maybe a little.

Does he still make me crazy?
Yes. Every. Single. Day.

So then, he's still alive?
Yes. Every. Single. Day

to be continued...

Reason I Teach #5

We have a fabulous vocabulary program at our school. Each week we read a story to the kids that has six new words in it. The words are not simple little words like house and bad; but words like shelter and dreadful. The concept is that kids from lower-income families don't get exposed to the kind of vernacular that children from more privileged families experience on a daily basis. The children are not required to learn how to spell the words - this is about exposure to language and the meaning of the words. And it works! I often hear the kids use the words in everyday chit-chat, and I get a huge chuckle out of hearing them.

"Ms. Wose, that homework was a real challenge last night!"

"Wow, that was a delightful story!"

Last week one of the words was complain. The story I read was all about a boy who complains non-stop about his horrible day. As we talked about the story and the word, we all decided that nobody is really interested in listening to a complainer - it's just no fun.

Today one of my students told me that she used the word complain at home.

ME: "Oh really? How did you use it?"

Student: "I tole my grampa he need to knock off all his complainin' - cause nobody's interested."

I wonder when grampa will be calling to complain about his grandchild's teacher.

My Cable Network

Celebrating 200 posts! These are some of the more interesting ways people have happened upon the Babbling Brooke in the last few weeks. I haven't bothered to include the dailies: Brooke, Brooke Burke's tits, and Accidental Flash (still number one!) cause it's just redundant already. So here are the recent keyword searches - in the now easy-to-read television listing format. Welcome to the Brooke Dork Network.

Lifetime

• Boys wear capri pants
• Lonely Margate City moms - Flounder, is that you?
• Jojo does she have a older sister
• My missing fingers

CNN

• Tickling torment
• Photo reign of terros
• Ear piercing baby in europe godfather
• Brunei trivia

HGTV

• Brooke HGTV
• How to behave in someone's house
• Signs of anal retentiveness
• Pic hanky over tits

Animal Planet

• Largest german shepherd that ever lived
• Death omens white german shepherd
• Tattoo monkey lips
• Jasons dog Ralph blog Australia saved me - clearly this person was looking for this post. I'm not afraid to say that I'm a bit afraid.

E! News Network

• Scofield a sociopath
• Hot teacher interview
• Who is Viggo's girlfriend - I never get tired of this one.
  

MTV

• Flashing boobs
• Babbling boobs
• Teacher boob accidental flash

The Discovery Channel - new!

• Mummification sex
• Hanky Panky tattoos Amsterdam

Also, I would like to add that Technorati blows. And sucks. It sucks and blows. That was for you Todd. Whenever I check who is linking to me, I see new blogs there, but the actual number of links doesn't change - if anything, it keeps going down. This leads me to believe that I am either being totally dissed by Technorati - fuck you I'm not even linking your dumb site here so there - or I am being dumped by blogger after blogger. I'm guessing this is happening because I'm a dork. No, I really am. I took the test and everything, and it turns out that I am an official dork. Power to the dorks!

My Relationship Destiny

...according to Tickle.

Wild thing, you make our hearts sing. Daring and headstrong, you know that the world is full of all kinds of adventures and possibilities, and you want to try as many of them as possible. Whether you've already met the action hero who's bold enough to join you on your travels, or are still looking for a soul brave enough, you're sure to enjoy the search.

A risk taker by nature, you're not afraid to put yourself on the line, whether you're scaling mountains or falling in love on the first date. Sure, that means you'll get a few bumps and bruises along the way, but for a courageous spirit like you, that's part of the fun. How romantic!

I think this is Tickle's nice way of saying, "Get used to being alone, slut. No wedding bells for you."

For The Hass-Been Fans

Kudos to the has-been never-was who is not afraid to admit to being a dirty old scumbag desperately trying to pick up teenagers in his penis mobile. Bravo to The Hass-Been!

A Message for the President

Click here for a good laugh.

9/11

I still can't look at a firefighter without thinking of that day. I can't watch old movies or tv shows that have shots of the Towers. I can't see pictures of Ground Zero without feeling a physical ache in my chest. I can't watch anything about September 11th without bursting into tears. I can't believe that the pain is still as fresh as it was five years ago - if not more so.

I'd like to send out a special thank you to CBS for showing this beautiful, heartbreaking, and moving documentary on 9/11. It was incredibly classy, sensitive, and responsible all at once. Well done, gentlemen.

I'd also like to send out a special fuck you to ABC for showing their bullshit "docudrama of the events leading to 9/11" on the five year anniversary of that very day. It shows a remarkable lack of class, sensitivity, and responsibility. Well done, assholes.

September 7th

Last year nobody was able to get me what I wanted for my birthday. Maybe this year I will nail him get lucky. I'm still holding out hope. In the meantime, Sysm sent me this as a substitute until the real thing comes along. And Tits sent me this, so I am at least on the right track. Tits' present is NSFW - you've been warned.

Just because I turned 40 last year does not mean I can't turn 35 this year. Time is relative. Ask Einstein. I don't know what that means but it's my birthday so I can say what I want.

Happy birthday to me! Yay!~~

Where's my cake?

It's Raining Again

New Do

May I present - my new look. I like it. If you don't like it, keep it to yourself. I'm really not all that interested in your opinion. Unless you like it, of course. Then feel free to express your thoughts. In other words, if you don't have anything nice to say, go fuck yourself.

So instead of actually getting any real work done today, I played around with my new template. I wonder sometimes what I would do with my time if Al Gore hadn't invented the Internet.

Five days 'til my birthday. I'm turning 35.

Shut up.