The Weturn of Ms. Wose

Now well into my second week of the new school year, I finally have a moment to take stock of the happenings thus far. The difference between being a first-year and a second-year teacher is beyond comprehension. I spent all of last year without a fucking clue as to what to do or how to do it. I don't even think that I realized how clueless I have been and for how long until just this week. I hate being clueless - it puts me in perpetual state of panic. It doesn't help that I am an anal-retentive freak who has to have everything perfect - an impossible feat for any first time teacher. But now I actually feel like...dare I say it... I know what I am doing. Other people are now asking me what to do and how to do it - and the best part is - I know the answer! It's nice to actually have some confidence again. Also, I like telling people what to do.

And now, a few highlights of the past couple of weeks.

• My classroom is so fucking cute I can barely stand it. I actually went to work a week early - with no pay - to work on it. Hello anal-retentive freak! But it was worth it. It's organized, colorful, and inviting. And the best part is, it no longer smells like dead rat. Why did it smell like dead rat, you ask? Because there was a dead rat in my room the week before school started. Welcome to the hood!
  


• Soooo excited about the promise of smaller class sizes this year. Last year I had 23 kids, 24 at one point until one child moved away. We were told we'd have no more than 20 this time around, and back in May I got my class list and saw that I had 19. Joy oh joy! Only 19, perfection! Two days before school I got my revised class list. 24 kids. I like to think of my naiveté as charming.
  


• I have a class full of sweet little girls and bad little boys. It's every kiddie stereotype you've ever seen. The boys actually pull the girls' hair. However, the girls outnumber the boys, so I'm looking forward to the girls kicking a little boy butt this year.
  


• There is one little boy in particular I am hoping the girls take care of for me. I never thought I would say this about a student, but honestly I'd like to throw this kid to the sharks. He's spoiled, loud, and generally a shit. He has had seven tantrums in seven days of school. And when I say tantrum, I mean crying-screaming-stomping-will-not-move-or-respond tantrums. Two of them were over crayons. One was because he got in trouble for kicking another boy. Another was because he got caught tripping a girl and laughing at her. If he doesn't throw a tantrum he gives me dirty looks or clucks his tongue at me. When he does behave, it's ruined by his need to point out his good behavior - I have heard "Look, I'm being good," come out of his mouth about 20 times a day. Yesterday he melted down yet again right before dismissal - which seems to be his favorite time. This was a mistake. I had had it. I dragged his scrawny butt to the office and let the principal ream him a new one. He actually gave her dirty looks while she did so. So Mom was called in for a conference. Today he showed me the mark on his leg where Mom took the belt to him. It was tiny, barely a scratch, but I actually smiled. Yes, I'm going to hell. I'm sure I'll be writing more about him in the future, so from this moment on, he will be known as Sharkbait. Hoo ha ha!
  


• Sysm sent me yet another fabulous present for my class. The kids went wild when they saw their new ubercool markers. Mr. Sysm is now the class hero, as he was to my class last year. All hail Sysm!!!
  


• My feet hurt.