Although I normally don't open email in my spam folder, this subject line was just too irresistable. I'm so glad I did, as Branden is either psychic, or he knows me from somewhere.
The message read: YOU NEED TO GET LAID!!!!!!!!!!!
Well no shit, Branden. Thanks for the heads up.
I wonder what Branden looks like.
34 comments:
I bet Branden has both male and female genitalia.
I bet Branden has neither male nor female genitalia.
I bet Branden has neither male nor female genitalia on his body, but both male and female genitalia in Mason jars in his attic.
Ha! Maybe Branden works for the local fortune cookie company?
i'd like to kick branden and all the other spammers in their genitalia.
I bet Branden walks the Earth.
Performing good deeds.
With his penis.
sysm, that is downright heartwarming.
that was so thoughtful of brenden.
I bet Branden is just a nice boy -- you know, the kind of boy one imagines one would want to bring home to meet the family if the family was one that I cared about bringing boys home to...
Just a sad little man who needs a fuck buddy. LOL!
Kind of sweet, really.
I think 90 to 95% of the world needs to get laid so to Branden I would say, "How about some names and addresses pal!"
Need to get laid ... thanks Branden for stating the bleeding freaking obvious! Any other genius insights bucko?
If I sound strident ... perhaps it's because I need to get laid???!!!
Classic! Just like my blogger word verif can read minds! ;)
Sysm - You mean like a porno version of Kung Fu?
I'm going to the White House for lunch.
Exactly, Nick.
Though I think the line about "snatch the pebble out of my hand" might need a slight re-write.
To find a fuck-buddy, Flounder?
I hate you, Flounder.
There are male and female genitalia all over the place at the White House. It's like a festering, tall-filled ham sandwich.
What's genitalia?
I love you Brooke!
I want a full report. What you got, what you brought home for later, and how long it lingered on your breath.
i could easily find a fuck-buddy without branden's help, if i were willing to shell out the $$$. bastard.
i just wish branden would spin his wares with al-queda. now those are some dudes who need to get laid.
I think I used to date Branden back in the 90's. Then again, who didn't I date in the 90's....
I don't even get spam that's this interesting...I get investment advice and offers for penis enlargement pills (And who told these people I had a tiny penis anyways?)
Which begs the question, does anyone actually buy the wares being hawked in these spam e-mails? I'd be afraid of body parts falling off instead of enlarging.
Not that I need it.
Enlargement that is.
Nope, not me. Nosiree.
I'm, um, done talking now.
Bye.
I bet Branden likes movies about gladiators and has seen a grown man (or two) naked.
That's a riot.
Branden lives with his mom and has 27 cats.
I wonder if Branden is one of my ex-fuckbuddies!
I think he wants to be your future ex-fuckbuddy.
I'm jealous. They always tell me I need to have a bigger penis. Why can't they try to help me have sex instead of trying to force a new (and apparently, gigantic) organ on me??
today i got spam telling me to stop being obese and unhappy. i think until i buy those magic slimming tablets, branden probably won't want to be my fuck buddy - at least the email suggested as much. you all know how "ugly fat people can be". it also said that i had stigmata.
I had a hot date with Palmela Handerson last night!
Boom, boom!
I'll get my coat.
branden is probably a girl. but she might be hottt.
High-larious.
And did you do a new banner or am I dreaming?? ;-)
Are you sure branden isn't you from the future telling you cool stuff that he/she knows? Maybe you're posing as a man in the spam so that you keep yourself from figuring it out.
So are you two going to meet in person or what? I mean, this Branden sounds like quite a catch. I wouldn't let him get away.
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