Brooke-ology

Grub-ology:

• What is your salad dressing of choice?
  I make the best Caesar dressing ever! But since it's too much trouble to make and is about a bazillion calories, I stick to extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
  
• What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
  Cheeburger Cheeburger
  
• What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
  The Rockpool
  
• On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
  I used to be a waitress, so I zealously overtip - much to the annoyance of all who dine with me.
  
• What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
  Pasta. Any kind, any shape, anytime.
  
• Name three foods you detest above all others.
  Okra. Veal. Most of the cafeteria meals at school.
  
• What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?
  Depends on who is buying.
  
• What are your pizza toppings of choice?
  Anything but anchovies. Or pineapple. Or okra.
  
• What do you like to put on your toast?
  Buttah
• What is your favorite type of gum?
  Sugarfree Orbit Bubblemint
  

Tech-ology:

• Number of contacts in your cell phone?
  Don't know, don't care.
  
• Number of contacts in your e-mail address book?
  See answer to cell phone question.
  
• What is your wallpaper on your computer?
  Viggo.
  
• What is your screensaver on your computer?
  I don't have one. They drive me nuts.
  
• Are there naked pictures saved on your computer?
  Not of me.
  
• How many land line phones do you have in your house?
  1
• How many televisions are in your house?
  2
  
• What kitchen appliance do you use the least?
  My KitchenAid mixer is very lonely these days. But I still love it so.
  
• What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most?
  Whatever isn't playing a commercial.
  
• How many sex toys do you own that require batteries?
  I'm not sure I understand the question.
  

Bi-ology:

• What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?
  My smile.
  
• Are you right handed or left handed?
  Right.
• Do you like your smile?
  I have already answered this question.
  
• Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
  Just some teeth that refused to come out on their own.
  
• Would you like to?
  I would like to have the majority of my ass removed.
  
• Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom?
  Of course, that's where I keep all the good magazines.
  
• Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
  
Smell, for sure. Listen! Do you smell something?
• When was the last time you had a cavity?
  Not since I was about seven. Don't jinx me! Dammit! I better go floss...
  
• What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
  My fat ass off the couch on a daily basis.
  
• Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
  Yes, once when riding my bike and some jerk-off going the wrong way actually shoved me out of the way. Head, meet the pavement. Pavement, meet Brooke's head.
  

Misc-ology:

• If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
  Who writes a question like this?? I'll tell you who!! Satan!
  
• If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
  Fred
  
• How do you express your artistic side?
  Writing, decorating, playing the flute, creating activities for my students, staring off into space.
  
• What color do you think you look best in?
  Red
  
• How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
  I could last quite a while. I'm easily amused and play well with others.
• Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
  Does strawberry body butter count?
  
• If we weren'’t bound by society'’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?
  Satan!! Satan wrote this!!
  
• How often do you go to church?
  Not very...
  
• Have you ever saved someone's life?
  I have been told that my cooking has lifesaving qualities.
  
• Has someone ever saved yours?
  Yes, he did.
  

Dare-ology:
*For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.
**Added note: being that I desperately want to own my own home someday, you will notice the $100,000 figure being thrown around a bit here. That's a decent down payment. I'll do a lot of things for that down payment.

• Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
  Hell yeah!
  
• Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
  Hell yeah!
  
• Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000?
  Depends on who it is and what exactly I am required to do. For $100,000 I'll do it with no questions asked.
  
• Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
  Hell no!
  
• Would you never blog again for $50,000?
  Hmmm. Make it $250,000. Why that number? See answer below.
  
• Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
  Nobody is going to pay me that kind of money to pose nude. But if someone did, I would say no. That's not enough to live on forever, and most boards of education frown on their teachers posing nude.
  
• Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
  Make it $100,000.
  
• Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
  Only if I get to pick the person.
  
• Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
  Make it $100,000.
  
• Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
  Make it $100,000.

Thank you Ms Sizzle! Now if I could find someone to pay me for all these things, I'd finally be in my dream home.