I have not been much of a blogger lately. Life tends to get in the way of such endeavors. And yet I can not bring myself to shut down or completely abandon my own little space in blogland. Most of the people who actually read my stuff in the past are either gone, on Facebook (ahem), or have given up the Internets completely, and even I am not sure I have anything to say worth reading.
Last night I spent some time going over my archives. At one time I was a pretty damn good writer. I went into this as a way to express myself and share funny stories from my somewhat deviant past, never realizing that blogging can very easily take over your life. Where did I find the time to write these entertaining little anecdotes? And then comment with such wit and wisdom on other blogs? And why did I have that giant L on my forehead?
In a rare moment of absolutely clarity, I realized that I wrote about so much about my past because not much was going on in my present - and the future didn't look all that exciting either. Actually that's not true. I had many dreams for my future - I just didn't know how to make them happen. I wanted to move home, buy a house, and get a dog. I also wanted a boy and a smokin' body. A smokin' body for me, not the boy. No wait, actually for the boy too. I've probably mentioned this 12 or 20 times on this blog at one point or another.
But things turned out differently than I expected. My future did change for the better. Moving home was the smartest thing I have done in years. Not to say that Florida was a mistake - it wasn't. I went back to school, started a new career, and made wonderful friends that I still stay in touch with on a regular basis. But coming here has been life-altering. I got a great job and work with fabulous people, I started working on my Master's (and I am about to start my ninth class out of ten), I bought a home, got a dog, and am generally - wait for it - happy. Yes, I am happy. It's hard for me to even type the word, so long have I truly felt this feeling. And I can't fight this feeling anymore...I've forgotten what I started....OK stop that. It's not necessary to make jokes about happiness. And that giant L on my forehead? It must have gotten lost in the move.
When I moved into my home after living in my mother's den for the better part of a year, I lovingly unpacked my many boxes that had been held prisoner in storage for so long. Never has unpacking felt so sweet. As I ripped through my kitchen gadgets, I found a little chalkboard that had been hanging in my Florida kitchen. I had drawn a picture of a house on it, complete with chimney and yard. Amazingly, the chalk drawing was intact. It was my own little dream photo, and there I was, holding a picture of the very dream that had come true. Two weeks later, I brought my puppy home. I quickly added him to the picture and hung it up in my very own kitchen.
I have no idea where I am going with this post. I think I just wanted a place to express my gratitude. I am beyond grateful for how things are going in my life. 2008 has been an extraordinary year for me and because of this, I am have never been so excited to see what a new year can bring. In 2009 I will achieve a Master's degree when not so long ago I hadn't even graduated from college. In 2009 I will achieve the smokin' body that I long for. And in 2009 I will find the one I have been waiting for.
Maybe I should put him in the picture too. Just to make sure.
Happy 2009 everyone! May all your dreams come true!